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first CBT session today - December 8th 2014, 02:21 PM

so i had my first CBT session for anxiety and therapy this morning.
when we were talking about my social anxiety the lady asked me what i was so scared of...
me: the judgements, i don't want to look like a bad person or seen as someone that i'm not.
her: what would happen if you were seen as a bad person though?
me: well they wouldn't like me, they'd hate me because they'd think i'm someone that i'm not.
her: and what's the worst that would happen?
me: i'd look like a bad person.
her: is that the worst thing?
me: i don't know it feel like a bad thing, i don't want to look like a bad person.
her: so that's the worst thing?

it just kept going on like that and now i feel like a complete idiot and that i should be ashamed of my anxiety disorder whereas before the session i was accepting of the disorder, i just wanted to learn to cope with it because the internet or books haven't helped me at all.

i understand that she's trying to make me see the logical side of things but really i feel like it made it worse for me because i feel so stupid about it, more stupid than i already felt. it that normal? do therapists normally do that?
   
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Re: first CBT session today - December 8th 2014, 03:17 PM

I can definitely relate to this. My former therapist did similar things. Sometimes she'd roll her eyes and stuff. I stopped going to her after a while. Since this is your first session, you might want to go a few more times but if you feel like it isn't working, you're allowed to voice that to your therapist. If it really doesn't work out, consider switching to another therapist or out of a CBT-based therapy.

I read an account of someone who spoke up about how their therapy wasn't working well and possible changes and the therapist really turned things around to tailor to his specific needs. That's pretty amazing but quite rare.
   
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Re: first CBT session today - December 8th 2014, 04:36 PM

Well, a therapist shouldn't be making you feel stupid. You're right that she was trying to make you see the logical side of things and realize that sometimes anxiety can make us think irrationally, but she should also be giving you ways to cope with this, such as through positive self talk or mindfulness. I agree that you should give it a few more tries to see if things improve, but if not tell your therapist that what she's currently doing isn't working so she can either change her tactic up or refer you to someone who may be of more help. Sometimes certain tactics or certain therapists just don't click with a person, but that's okay! Others definitely will!

You are not stupid at all for having anxiety, though, and never feel stupid for it.


   
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Re: first CBT session today - December 9th 2014, 12:23 AM

ah thanks you two! i was really accepting of the anxiety disorder before and spoke up about mental illnesses when i felt comfortable because of the stigma against them due to the media and society etc, so i was really fine with it until this morning and it just feels like she spun me round back to square one again of being ashamed of it and stuff :/ i'm glad i'm not the only one who experienced this though!
   
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Re: first CBT session today - December 9th 2014, 02:09 AM

The point of CBT is to change your thinking in regards to how you view things such as your mental illness. It can be really beneficial. I am seeing a therapist who does CBT and it's been helpful but she has never made me feel stupid for having the thoughts I have. If I have a thought we will go over it and try and work on changing that frame of thought into a more positive one. I think you should definitely try and give it more time and see if this changes but if it doesn't you should voice your concerns with this therapist. Let her know that she is making you feel stupid and let her know that she is causing you to question your anxiety disorder.

It might be hard to bring this up with her but that is what you will need to do to work on getting to a better place. Also, if that doesn't work then you might want to consider trying another therapist.

I wish you the best of luck and if you need anything please feel free to message me.


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Re: first CBT session today - December 9th 2014, 02:58 AM

Hi there,

They're really just waiting for you to have an "AHA!" moment. An epiphany.

CBT is about self-discovery, so you throughout the process will learn about your thoughts and how they may be altered to be positive.



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Re: first CBT session today - December 9th 2014, 08:00 PM

thanks for your feedback everyone, i'll see how it goes next week xx
   
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Re: first CBT session today - December 10th 2014, 02:19 AM

You're in charge of your therapy, not your therapist. Her questions are meant to try and help you have food for thought, but if you feel that approach isn't helping you let her know. It's always better to be honest with you therapist about how you feel your treatment is going. Perhaps the two of you can find a better way to address your issues than the current one. And remember, we all have bad weeks in therapy. Just because one session left you feeling bad doesn't mean the therapy isn't working.



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Re: first CBT session today - December 10th 2014, 06:23 PM

I can relate to this. In high school I had a therapist that just confused me most of the time rather than helping me. I'd give it a few more sessions. If you find that you still feel this way after the next one or two sessions, talk to her about this so she can adapt therapy to something that can/will be useful for you.
You deserve to have a therapist that will support you and not make you feel stupid.
It could help you to write down your thoughts so that you do not get nervous if you are trying to explain this to her.
Hope this helps and that things improve with her. Don't give up on therapy, therapists are people and some do not get along with all of their clients, it is a part of the job that they will not get along with every person they meet.
Take care.


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Re: first CBT session today - December 10th 2014, 08:41 PM

thankyou, it's nice to know i'm not the only one with this experience <3
   
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