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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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Ambstewart Offline
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Angry Mental health - January 27th 2015, 07:30 PM

Okay so please bare with me as I'm new to this, I've never fully spoke to my problems to anyone, I've told a few things to a few close friends but never what is really going on, I'm unsure whether I do have a real mental health issue but this is why I'd like some advice, from a young age I was bullied and was bullied the whole way through my primary school years, this is where problems began really, it completely knocked my confidence and I refused to go to school, I was so afraid, I lost my nan in year 5 on Christmas eve and I still get ver upset over her loss now 6 years on, senior school was a fresh start, I can't really remember how I felt In the earlier years but from about year 9, I became very self concious, I hated the way I looked,I always tried to make myself look prettier or look better but it never worked I still felt horrible about my self, I constantly felt as though people were looking at me and laughing at me, I became very paranoid, I had a few groups of friends but I always felt like I was hated like no one wanted to be around me, as though no one wanted me there, I hung around with one groups of friends and then another because I didn't know where I belonged, I was always the one to be left behind and left out, as exam time came out in year 11 I freaked, I continually stressed out and I felt like I was never going to do good enough, teachers put so much pressure on me to do well that all I wanted to do was give up, exam time came around and I found myself in a relationship, the first one I ever had, it made me so happy but hurt at the same time, the boy I was with had several mental health issues and I accepted this and all I ever did was love him and gave him my everything despite his issues and despite him bring off with me sometimes, however this distracted me abit from exams and when getting my results back I feel I had let myself down, I was so disappointed in myself even though my grades were decent, 3 months later the relationship came to and end out of the blue he told me we couldn't be together, I was so heartbroken, I didn't eat properly for weeks, i didn't ever sleep well, I had panic attacks, i didn't want to go out and socialise, I felt suicidal and even tried hurting my self in attempt to feel better and I feel from here onwards my problems have become worse, I fear going to college now everyday because having to get on a bus, I feel people are always looking at me, I get so anxious and paranoid, I constantly worry about how I look and how I wish I could be and look like someone else, I never feel good enough, and I always feel so alone, I feel like no one ever understands who I am and the way I am, I feel judged and selfish if I tell anyone how im feeling, this is why I keep it to myself, I could be happy one minute and the next be feeling completely low, I think myself into bad things, overthinking occurs a lot too, I struggle to eat a lot too and my parents always moan that I'm not eating enough but I just physically can't eat sometimes, when I get really down, I lock myself away, I cry for hours on end making sure no one seems that I'm upset, I get angry with myself, I find it hard to breathe, and I just can't seem to control myself, I find it difficult to sleep as there are always things on my mind or I'll constantly wake up panicking over something, I just feel I'm not good enough, like no one wants me around anymore, I feel very alone, there is counselling offered at college and people you can talk to but I'm scared to admit to someone how I'm really feeling and I'm scared right admit to myself that I may need help, my mum has suffered from anxiety and depression for a long time, and her developing a brain injury recently has heightened these for her, I find it hard to see that she is this way and I wish she could get better and be able to not have these issues, also getting bad grades at college makes me feel so low and I feel like giving up, I'm always tired and I feel like I can never get any motivation to do things, I just wish there is someone who's out there and who can give me so advice
   
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Re: Mental health - January 27th 2015, 07:56 PM

Hello there! First off, welcome to the site. I hope you enjoy it here! As of your problem, no one here can diagnose you with a mental health problem, though if you truly feel you have one, you should talk to a mental health professional. I'm sorry you've gone through all of this, and I can't possibly imagine how hard this must be for you. If you need anything or anyone to talk to personally feel free to PM or IM me anytime, and I'll do the best I can. I'm sure you are lovely and you don't deserve the bullying, or pressure. I hope things get better for you dear.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Ambstewart Offline
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Name: Amber
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Re: Mental health - January 28th 2015, 03:40 PM

Thank you so much!
   
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Calaer Offline
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Re: Mental health - January 28th 2015, 03:55 PM

No problem dear.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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