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Karol Offline
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Overthinking?! Help! - February 13th 2015, 02:30 AM

So whenever I'm not at my job or hanging out with my boyfriend or friends, I start to over think. At first, I can control it. But after a while I start to get really anxious about if my bf actually loves me like he says or if my friends actually think of me as a friend. I have this thing where if people I love and trust don't confide in me when they're down, I feel worthless. I know it's stupid but I can't figure out how to get rid of the mentality even though I know it's wrong.
But all this results in overthinking, deeper depression, and self-harm tendencies. :/ So any ideas or helpful hints on how to stop overthinking?
   
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Re: Overthinking?! Help! - February 13th 2015, 03:45 AM

I'd say the only thing that really works for me is to keep busy. Focus your mind on something else, like learning a new hobby, or reading. Just something that's time consuming and that you can truly throw yourself in to. I hope this helps, and I hope everything starts to get better.


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Re: Overthinking?! Help! - February 13th 2015, 05:06 AM

Set time each day to think about your worries. Your worries are important and tells you something is bothering so I wouldn't suggest to ignore what your mind is telling you but give yourself time each day. Say half an hour you can worry in whatever way you want as long as it isnt damaging to yourself. You can stomp your feet, listen to music, do art, write things out, cry if you need to and then you stop after that time passes and do something that lifts your spirits. But getting it out is important too. You just may not want it controlling your life, that's understandable.
   
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Re: Overthinking?! Help! - February 13th 2015, 11:21 AM

Hey Karol,

I feel the same way at times, and itís horrible, isnít it?

I think the thinking pattern is called Ďcatastrophizingí where one thought snowballs into other thoughts and the worrying gets worse. The other responses have given good advice- take up hobbies, set aside worrying time etc. But I thought I would add to that.

If you find yourself worrying, or if you do set aside time to worry, the trick is to rationalise your thoughts. What are the chances that your boyfriend/friends actually donít love you? Iíd say itís a pretty low chance. It might help to see if you can think of any reason why they wouldnít love you, and then try to change the negative thoughts e.g. if your boyfriend doesnít confide in you when you are down, it doesnít mean that he doesnít love you, but he might be embarrassed as guys are Ďsupposed to be strongí or he simply doesnít want you to worry over his problems.

I find that our worrying is worse when we feel insecure about ourselves. How is your self-esteem? When we have low self-esteem, we worry that we arenít good enough for others and that can trigger us into a worrying cycle and making us feel more depressed. If you think you have low self-esteem, it might help you to remember all your positive qualities, they can be talents, characteristics, appearance, personality etc. anything that makes you feel good about yourself. Remind yourself of these things every day, particularly if you are feeling down. Donít forget to treat yourself to something nice every once in a while- you are worth it!

If itís really bothering, then it might be a good idea to talk to a counsellor about it.

Take care


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February 14th 2015, 02:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathmaticiousforlife View Post
I'd say the only thing that really works for me is to keep busy. Focus your mind on something else, like learning a new hobby, or reading. Just something that's time consuming and that you can truly throw yourself in to. I hope this helps, and I hope everything starts to get better.
Okay, thanks. I appreciate your advice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PlayfulMaziness View Post
Set time each day to think about your worries. Your worries are important and tells you something is bothering so I wouldn't suggest to ignore what your mind is telling you but give yourself time each day. Say half an hour you can worry in whatever way you want as long as it isnt damaging to yourself. You can stomp your feet, listen to music, do art, write things out, cry if you need to and then you stop after that time passes and do something that lifts your spirits. But getting it out is important too. You just may not want it controlling your life, that's understandable.
That makes sense, I'll start to try that. Thank you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DutchWelshWolf View Post
Hey Karol,

I feel the same way at times, and itís horrible, isnít it?

I think the thinking pattern is called Ďcatastrophizingí where one thought snowballs into other thoughts and the worrying gets worse. The other responses have given good advice- take up hobbies, set aside worrying time etc. But I thought I would add to that.

If you find yourself worrying, or if you do set aside time to worry, the trick is to rationalise your thoughts. What are the chances that your boyfriend/friends actually donít love you? Iíd say itís a pretty low chance. It might help to see if you can think of any reason why they wouldnít love you, and then try to change the negative thoughts e.g. if your boyfriend doesnít confide in you when you are down, it doesnít mean that he doesnít love you, but he might be embarrassed as guys are Ďsupposed to be strongí or he simply doesnít want you to worry over his problems.

I find that our worrying is worse when we feel insecure about ourselves. How is your self-esteem? When we have low self-esteem, we worry that we arenít good enough for others and that can trigger us into a worrying cycle and making us feel more depressed. If you think you have low self-esteem, it might help you to remember all your positive qualities, they can be talents, characteristics, appearance, personality etc. anything that makes you feel good about yourself. Remind yourself of these things every day, particularly if you are feeling down. Donít forget to treat yourself to something nice every once in a while- you are worth it!

If itís really bothering, then it might be a good idea to talk to a counsellor about it.

Take care
Thank you so much. This really helped.

I do have low self-esteem. Lower than I like to admit most of the time. It stems from my weight; I have a really hard time gaining and keeping weight on so my parents constantly think I'm anorexic. That doesn't help with my worrying and overthinking.

My parents won't allow me to talk to a counselor I'm afraid.

Last edited by Philomath; February 14th 2015 at 11:09 AM. Reason: Merging consecutive posts.
   
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Celyn Offline
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Re: Overthinking?! Help! - February 14th 2015, 08:15 PM

Are you still in school/college? You could talk to a school counsellor without your parents knowing (unless the counsellor thinks that you may be a danger to yourself or others).


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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Karol Offline
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Re: Overthinking?! Help! - February 14th 2015, 08:55 PM

My school doesn't have a counselor. So I'm afraid that's out of the question. :/ And based on my past record, I would definitely be a danger to myself in their eyes.

Last edited by Karol; February 15th 2015 at 03:33 AM.
   
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