Therapy Homework

[MsNobleEleanor]

I'm having a hard time working on worksheets that I have and have requested from my counselor to work on over the holidays, I am having a hard time with them. I am going back to the sheets I was given during an Anxiety workshop, basically setting goals and how I would achieve them. I want to start there because it's goal setting. The sheets he gave me are more on: appreciating your strengths, three phases of therapy, the language of the body good times/bad times/your body, the wisdom of the body, lost and found (attitudes and actions, etc) and then recognizing animal defenses.

For some reason, I am struggling to sit down and do them. I start and I feel anxious meanwhile I am working on my anxiety goals (go figure) thinking about this stuff, well... it's like all the metaphoric words and imagines pop up and I am lost. I never sat at the table/desk and did actual homework so it's no doubt I am having issues. I mean I sew and I am able to do some sewing for 30 minutes and then I need to do something else because I am sitting, it's like I am trapped in this body that needs to get out. Not sure if that makes sense...

I know working on therapy homework at home alone is hard but this, I don't know if I can do this. I asked for the sheets and I told my counselor I will work on them. I just feel like crying as I am working on them. How am I suppose to survive DBT-Lite in 4 weeks? I will be given homework, and if I am having a hard time with this, I am not sure about DBT-Lite homework...

I am trying and I am taking small steps and these small steps have taken me months to do, some I had to force myself to do them but now I do them usually daily. I don't want to force myself to do this work, I want to be able to do them without forcing myself, if that makes sense?

Not sure I really would like some advice or something... or help?

[Not_here]

Hey there Chantal,

I personally hadn't had homework in my therapy but I did have to fill out a sheet of what I wanted my "goals" to be. Like you, I had an extremely hard time and I felt counterproductive because the assignment was anxiety inducing.

I hear about DBT and a common criticism is the homework. A lot of people don't like it and find it stressful so you're not alone in that! Having said that, if you feel that doing homework will be helpful, it may be worth giving it one more shot.

Try to take a deep breath. This is homework, yes but it isn't for school. You're not going to be graded and the sole satisfaction from completing this should be for yourself. You initially requested it because you found it potentially beneficial. But think of it as an experiment. Break it down into smaller managable chunks and if then pause and evaluate. Ask yourself how helpful or unhelpful are you finding this?
Can you imagine yourself doing this in the future? Maybe it is not for you, or maybe it is something to take a break from and wait a little bit.

I also learned from filling out the goal sheet that nothing is set in stone. I thought that because I only had three slots in the goals sheet I couldn't change my answers or that goals cannot be redefined. But that was my perfectionist side speaking.

You're allowed to redo worksheets if you think of new ideas. You're allowed to make side notes or point out which questions you feel are not well written and you are allowed to reframe those questions. Think of these exercises as inspiration and food for thought for your recovery journey. It does not dictate everything though. These questions are standardized and you are allowed to personalize/customize to your own needs. You're allowed to tweak what are meant to be guidelines.

This way of thinking had helped me relax immensely. Letting go of the right and wrong answer dichotomy. And just using the exercises as springboards for exploration.

Another idea, since you mention feeling trapped in your body when you sit for long amounts of time. Something I do sometimes when i have a paper to do is read the prompt several times till I know it by heart more or less. Then take a walk and lightly think about it. Then do other things and have it stir in the background. At one point or another, ideas will come and accept whatever comes to you. Write those things down. Even free write if that's helpful. Take it as a very lighthearted game and try to forget that there's a deadline attached (if there is) It helps to focus on the moment rather than the expected outcome.


When is the next time you see your counselor? It may help to bring up this difficulty you're having. At one point, I told my school counselor that I need a therapist to navigate therapy itself. She told me that ideally there would be open communication about the difficulties of therapy. Because the therapeutic relationship is scary for many of us. I can understand how doing therapy homework poses barriers and fears. But the flip side is keeping open communication with your therapist so this can be a topic you work on within the framework of whatever you're working on.