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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Kate* Offline
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Well, that was pointless - May 20th 2017, 07:17 AM

I saw my new therapist for the first time today and there's about a 1% chance that I'll go back to her. I know it's wise to give people at least two or three sessions, but I literally almost walked out on her. My first therapist recommended her because they're supposed to have similar personalities.

Turns out she uses a theory I HATE (REBT), talks loud (she works with the elderly at her main job), so she basically yelled the entire time, while constantly reminding me that my degree is in psychology, to imply what, that I'm like an idiot or something for not knowing how to fix this? I don't know what she meant by that. She picked up her phone and wrote more than she paid attention to what I was saying, interrupted me, said in response to my disability that "Everyone has challenges", that the main reason I'm there "Well that was a long time ago," and made me feel like having anxiety is stupid because you're worrying about things that haven't happened yet. This was my 8th session total, I think she thinks I'm not working on anything and is wondering why I'm still going. She kept reminding me that they can give me the tools, it's up to me to use them.. again I'm NOT AN IDIOT I know this! After this I'm starting to wonder why I bother. Oh yeah, because I'm still suicidal 24/7, and breaking into random fits of intense emotion where I self-harm!

She also kept comparing herself to my other therapist by saying things like "It won't take me 5 sessions to get you to do stuff." I felt almost no connection or rapport. A tiny part of me wants to try what she said and then go back to show her that this isn't working (she'll probably say because I decided it wouldn't) and the rest of me says there's no way in hell I'd go back to her.

Maybe this should just be further proof for my suicide argument that even multiple sessions with two therapists couldn't help me and I should just give up on it. Honestly, I did more for myself in the two years before I started seeing someone, than either of them really has, but I feel like I need the support. I've been through so much that I'm fragile. They couldn't schedule me with her for 6 weeks, so they're going to call me to figure it out. I'll probably just ask who else takes my insurance and see who I can switch to.


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Last edited by Kate*; May 21st 2017 at 03:46 AM.
   
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Re: Well, that was pointless - May 22nd 2017, 12:44 AM

Hi Katie, sorry to hear that you are having such experiences with the therapists

Unfortunate things like these can happen at times, where the therapist can't help the patient but making them feeling worse than before. But you need to be strong, know that your therapist isnt helping you and you definitely should voice that out!

I would recommend you to stay however. Let's see whether the claim that you will be better in 5 weeks, is true or not! To test this, try your best to control your emotions. I know its hard to control them, but to make the test be valid, you have to try not letting emotions to affect the result! And try to remove that prejudgement that the therapist won't help, for a while. Untill you have solid proof like the claim is wrong, that proves that they lied about their abilities, then its time for you to move on to the next one. But keep an open mind, you go to them to get help so there might be unexpected things that can help you, dont rule out any possibility too early!

I can understand your despair that the thrapist aren't helping. I face similar situations (with doctors not therapists), but the rule is simple, you keep trying untill one worked, and if you dont try you never know. I hope you don't give up finding other therapists if this doesnt work.

Dont give up!


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Happy life won't come by being happy everyday. Struggle and always work hard.

Forgive other's imperfection, they will work hard about it once I point it out to them, just like what I should be doing.

On the other hand, never tolerate with my own mediocrity. Never slack and always strive improvement.

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Well, that was pointless - May 22nd 2017, 01:10 AM

Insurance limits my sessions, and I've stuck it out with the less than helpful, but better than nothing therapist before, I've NEVER been tempted to walk out on one! If I know her theory and I know I hate it and I know my brain doesn't work that way, I don't see the point in wasting my already limited time doing it. I don't think humans work the way she claims they do. My disability and mental illness make it nearly impossible to control my emotions at times, so I fail and then beat the shit out of myself (literally). She's also one of these "find the positive and everything will be fine" people. um.. NO it won't. This isn't attitude it's anatomy and I neurologically can't do what she's asking of me. It's like she expected me to know what she was going to say next and then got frustrated when I didn't. I felt like I was taking (and failing) a test for God's sake!

The 5 session thing was an insult to my first therapist. The first time it took me 2 sessions to get the story out, homework was first assigned in session 3 and it took me until between sessions 4 and 5 to actually do it. And I did try, fail, and spiral, so it wasn't that I didn't do it, it was that I had to back off because I became a danger to myself. Since I've been going since Christmas and this one's approach works faster, she can't figure out what the hell I still need someone for, especially since my degree in psychology supposedly means I should know how to fix myself! So, technically she's right, she said the problem isn't always me, in this case, it's definitely her and it wouldn't take her 5 sessions to get me to do stuff, she convinced me in less than one session to never go back to her. The only reason I would go back would be to tell her her theory is BS and I want to see someone else. Don't see the point in putting myself through another session just for that.


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Re: Well, that was pointless - May 22nd 2017, 02:51 AM

Wow I'm sorry you had an awful experience with this therapist. She definitely doesn't sound professional at all! I don't blame you for wanting to walk out, I probably would feel the same. Understandably you don't want to return, but maybe you should at least give her a call and explain why you don't want to continue sessions with her (try to be nice about it! I understand how hard it is to maintain a filter when I'm upset/angry). It seems to me she's a fast-paced therapist and sometimes that doesn't all work for us, it takes time to really build a connection and become an open book so I don't really like that she's trying to rush things with you. Try to see if she will turn your case over to another therapist and if she refuses then ask the company you go through to do so.
I hope everything turns out well for you, and my PM's are open anytime!




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Re: Well, that was pointless - May 24th 2017, 08:29 PM

Okay, here's the update: I'm not going back to this one. I feel kind of bad because they adjusted her schedule to get a slot for me, but I'm not putting up with someone I'm tempted to walk out on. There were only 4 therapists at this office that took my insurance and were accepting new patients, my old therapist who left, one who doesn't even come to the location close to me (she's an hour and a half away), this person I'm not seeing again, or someone who isn't available until July 16th

So, I booked July 16th and had them put me on the cancellation list, so if someone cancels I can see her sooner than that, I'm looking for my old therapist, and I'm looking other places. It just sucks because this office is literally 5 minutes from my house, even if the next one is a good fit, they're all booked solid, UGH


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Last edited by Kate*; May 25th 2017 at 06:07 AM.
   
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Re: Well, that was pointless - May 25th 2017, 05:08 AM

I think you did the right thing. If something doesn't feel right about a therapist listen to your instinct. I too try and give therapists a fair chance but last year I went to two therapists and in the first session there were red flags. I didn't listen to my instinct and kept going and it actually did some damage to my recovery.

The last therapist I went to last year raised red flags in the second appointment and I simply never went back.

I hope you will be able to find a therapist that will help you. I know how hard it is to find a therapist that is not only good but that you click with. It's like, even if the therapist is highly recommended, that doesn't necessarily mean that you will click with them.

Try and be patient (I know it's super hard) and maybe something will come up.

Do you have tools to cope while you wait for the appointment in July?


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Re: Well, that was pointless - May 25th 2017, 06:18 AM

For the most part I'm past the crisis point. I did a lot of work on myself in the two years between the dismissal (the main reason I'm going), and when I could actually face someone whose job I almost had. And I'm in somewhat of a holding pattern. I'm waiting for my VR counselor to send me the plan that I have to review, sign, and send back, and my medication appointment isn't until July either. I'll probably delay actually starting meds until I have an established therapist again, I'm not that comfortable starting them without that.

I'm 99% sure my old therapist went too far, and there aren't that many convenient ones that take Medicaid. There are a lot of them at the office I go to, but no one else is accepting new patients. Even if they were, every single one of them is booked solid. I guess I got spoiled only waiting 2 weeks for my first appointment with an awesome fit with someone 5 minutes from home. So, I'll keep looking, but chances are I'll be waiting it out and hoping for the best.


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