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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Lionheart Offline
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Question Is this normal? - July 23rd 2017, 03:42 PM

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Ok, this will probably sound really really strange, but have you ever thought about murdering someone? Not someone in particular, just generally. I mean, not in a 'you gonna do it' way, just randomly thinking about how you would murder someone and what you would do with the corpse afterwards to not get caught. Or if you could eat a human or if my dog would eat the bones, if I gave them to him.
And just to clarify this, I don't have any intention to ever harm anyone, I know it's wrong, I could never live with the guilt and I'm way to scared of blood and open wounds anyway, so I'm not dangerous or anything.
It's just I often think about stuff like that, daydreaming of another world and stuff, where there are zombies or I'm a head hunter or stuff, or even just a warrior in an ancient setting where I kill others.
And sometimes when I'm angry at people I think about it. Like that one time the old lady that gave me instructions for my job was really mean to me. I just imagined stabing her with the scissors I had in my pocket. I didn't do it. I simply imagined it while being nice and polite and the perfect gentleman.
I always thought it was kind of normal?
But I had a conversation with friends a few days ago and they said they never thought about stuff like that?
And now that I'm actually writing this down I think it sounds slightly unnerving too?
But I swear I would never kill anyone! it's just normal to me to think about it or make jokes about it and my friends like these jokes as well (though they said if anyone ever disappears they would direct the police to me and I'm not hundert percent sure anymore, if that is a joke or not. I mean, they should know I could never truly harm anyone).
I'm just used to this kind of violence. I've had violent dreams like that for years and while they were really scary in the begining I'm kind of used to them by now. I am often killed in these dreams too, so its not like I'm always the one killing.
And I don't know, I guess I'm kind of looking for someone to tell me that this is indeed normal and nothing to worry about?
Cause everyone telling me it is not normal is kind of making me feel uneasy and I really don't like that one bit. It's like my whole skin is crawling when I think about it...


It's ok to give in to an urge or make a mistake. You are only human and we all have our flaws. We all have our weak moments and we all make mistakes. Thats what makes us human.
Thats what makes us unique and beautiful

Courage isn't always a loud roar. Sometimes it is a quiet whisper at the end of a day saying: Tomorrow I will try it again!

   
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Re: Is this normal? - July 26th 2017, 04:07 AM

I can kind of relate to this. Sometimes get really angry and want to punch people, but I've never thought about killing people in these scenarios. I have a really overactive imagination so I definitely also randomly think about whether or not I could get away with a crime, especially if I'm watching a crime show. I always look at whatever the crime is and then consider what I'd do in that situation or how I would do it better, and sometimes it's murder so I can kind of relate in that aspect. I also picture myself in weird situations like a warrior or bounty hunter or spy or in other worlds all together. Usually these are all based off of movies or books though, like Star Wars or Fast and Furious, so it's not just me killing people though it does sometimes happen.

The only times I ever just imagine myself killing someone though is when I wonder whether or not I'd be able to kill someone if they were trying to kill me, and I honestly don't know if I could.

All of this I find normal because I've always done it, like you said, so this was really interesting to think about. I think you're probably fine since you know you would never truly hurt anyone, I'm the same way just super curious and imaginative. The only thing that is slightly concerning is the violent dreams and how frequent all of these thoughts sound. Especially since it sounds like it doesn't seem to faze you anymore. If it's just daydreaming all the time that's perfectly normal me and a bunch of people I know are always daydreaming about random things. However if the daydreaming is always or at least almost always about you killing people that probably has a deeper meaning. The main thing it comes down to though is your own opinion of whether or not it feels right. If you feel really weird and uneasy about it I would definitely talk to a trained professional about it, and then you'll know. If they say it's normal you won't feel uneasy about it anymore and can live in peace, and if it isn't then you know and can get some help to fix whatever is bugging you.

Hope this helps, and that you can figure out how to make yourself happy! That's all that really matters!
   
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Re: Is this normal? - July 27th 2017, 08:01 PM

I think it's fairly common to be curious and think about violence, death and murder. It's taboo and extreme, which is bound to stir up curiosity in people, even those that are not violent at all.

It's brilliant that you know that you would never act on these thoughts, but I do understand why you may feel concerned. It sounds like while you are curious about murder and survival, that these things also cross your mind when you feel anger, as well as having violent dreams. It may be worth looking into other ways of dealing with anger, or talking to a counsellor, if it concerns you.

But otherwise, as long as you know that the thoughts are just thoughts, and that you wouldn't act on them or behave violently, then I wouldn't worry too much.


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Re: Is this normal? - August 1st 2017, 02:47 PM

Thanks so much !
Your replies relly helped. I don't feel as weird anymore. I guess I was just worried becuase everyone said it wasn't normal and I thought it has to be bad then, but I guess as long as I don't really want to hurt anyone it's ok
So I'll keep an eye on this if it gets serious enough to worry about but unless that happens I won't mind anymore


It's ok to give in to an urge or make a mistake. You are only human and we all have our flaws. We all have our weak moments and we all make mistakes. Thats what makes us human.
Thats what makes us unique and beautiful

Courage isn't always a loud roar. Sometimes it is a quiet whisper at the end of a day saying: Tomorrow I will try it again!

   
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Re: Is this normal? - August 2nd 2017, 07:41 AM

That's an interesting one.

My guess, is the more primitive mid-brain, which is more of an emotional thinking brain that doesn't really rationalize or think things through, it just looks for an instant easy solution to everything, that part of the brain is a bit overactive, possibly caused by too much stress for an extended period of time.

The primitive mid-brain was "good enough" some millions of years ago. It kept the person alive. Now we've developed this more sophisticated frontal cortex that does a lot of thinking, logical, rational, imagining the future, imagining future consequences, and the frontal cortex likes to be in control, and not let the mid-brain do stupid things until it's had the opportunity to think it through. (Like, "Don't murder someone, stupid mid-brain, you'll get me in trouble!")

However, there is one situation where having a slow thinking frontal cortex is a liability, and that's when you're being chased by a tiger. In those stressful moments, the mid-brain says, "Yikes. Run!" and the mid-brain doesn't like having the frontal cortex say, "Hold on a moment, let me think this through..." because that's the kind of thinking that takes time and gets one killed when a tiger is running towards you.

So evolution came up with a solution. When we get stressed (like when a tiger is running towards us), the mid-brain literally shuts down the frontal cortex and takes over, and we run without thinking about it.

Works great if you're being chased by tigers a lot.

Works terrible in today's modern society, where it's easy to become stressed over things, like life, whatever. Problem is, too much stress, mid-brain wants to take over, shut down the frontal cortex, and it says, "Just murder the stupid person!"

So, learn to mitigate stress. Get away from constant stress. Take a break from stress. Even if just for half an hour each day. Relax. Sunbathe. Lay on the beach. Do nothing and enjoy doing nothing. Stop thinking and enjoy not thinking. (Our brains use up a lot of energy and they need a rest.)

Try yoga, mindfulness meditation, qi-gong, tai-chi, exercise, socialize, whatever you find relaxing. It'll slowly train the brain. The brain can slowly rewire itself towards a happier, healthier, calmer, more serene state, where the mid-brain shrinks a bit, becomes less active, less strong, and those thoughts no longer there.
   
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Re: Is this normal? - August 5th 2017, 07:49 PM

That makes so much sense!
I kind of feel like you explained half my life to me! Thanks a lot del!
I will definitely try to lower my stress level and maybe I'll try some of the things you suggested as my coping mechanisms have not been working very well in the last few weeks.


It's ok to give in to an urge or make a mistake. You are only human and we all have our flaws. We all have our weak moments and we all make mistakes. Thats what makes us human.
Thats what makes us unique and beautiful

Courage isn't always a loud roar. Sometimes it is a quiet whisper at the end of a day saying: Tomorrow I will try it again!

   
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