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mrabused Offline
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Satisfaction is a difficult task - August 9th 2017, 06:30 PM

Ok, I have no idea where this belongs, but I'll put it here, feel free to move if it fits somewhere better.

Now, like, for the past 3 months or so, I've been really concerned about my looks. And there's literally not a hour without me staring at my self in the mirror. I'm almost never, ever satisfied with how I look. And this is really bringing my self-esteem down, it's so difficult for me to just accept what I am and move on, I just cannot accept that. I'm not asking for a girlfriend, sex, or anything like that. I just want to get over this, I personally don't have full hate on my self, but there is always that something, that one little thing that always HAS to bring me down.

Any advice will would be really appreciated.
Thanks!


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Re: Satisfaction is a difficult task - August 9th 2017, 11:15 PM

Hey there.
Sounds like you've got a lot going on in terms of how you think you look. The first thing I want to tell you is that you're 13, and welcome to the world of hormones. I think you'd be hard pressed to find any teenager who hasn't hated themselves. So thats the first thing.
Secondly, if you find that you hate yourself a lot, you could try engaging in some exercise. I would NOT recommend weights at your age, but going for a run, biking, swimming, playing sport are all great forms of exercise.
Some other things that I found to be helpful (since I have had the same problem as you), was dressing better. I used to be a slob, just wearing any random jeans and t shirts and felt like shite. Just little things like ironing your t shirt, and spending 30 seconds picking it out made all the difference in the world.
You could also ask an older sibling perhaps, or an older cousin to help you organise your wardrobe so that can help your self esteem. At the same time, talking to a family member can help you find strategies that can work in your situation, and often they have great advice. Alternatively, you can talk to a friend. I asked a close female friend of mine to let me know how my look for the day was, and she helped me pick out clothes when I had to go out. Perhaps you can ask a friend to help with that.

Essentially to sum up a rather long winded answer: (a) its likely a lot to do with hormones (b) little changes can make a huge difference in self perception.
Hope this helps mate.
Feel free to drop me a PM if you wanna talk about this.


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Re: Satisfaction is a difficult task - August 10th 2017, 10:37 AM

I agree with the above response; you are young and you will grow and develop so that in a few years time, you'll look different to how you do now.

When you feel the urge to look in the mirror, try to distract yourself. Part of the problem sounds like repeatedly focusing on your body and looks brings your self-esteem and mood down, so perhaps finding a distraction may help with this.

Another thing that you can try is that for every negative thing you notice, try to find at least one positive that you do like about yourself. Remember that you are more than just your body and that you have many good qualities like your personality too!

You can also talk with a counsellor who may be able to help you accept yourself as well


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