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Unhappy Advice needed! - August 14th 2017, 10:29 AM

I sometime get random urges to kill people. I know that when people get angry they say they want to kill them but its not like that for me. I will just be sitting there and all of a sudden I'm thinking of what tool would be best to kill someone. I have never put any of those ideas to action though and I don't plan on it. I feel bad when I kill a bug so it's not like I'm a crazy person. Today I found out that I accidentally fed heavely poisoned grass to 2 horses and 3 goats that belong to my neighbours. I'm worried now that if they do die I would have murdered them and there is no way in hell that I'm going to tell them I killed their animals. I don't know what to do!
   
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Re: Advice needed! - August 14th 2017, 10:40 AM

Please don't judge me and think I am an absolute psycho because its not like that!
   
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Re: Advice needed! - August 21st 2017, 01:46 PM

Sorry you haven't had a reply yet! No-one here is going to judge you- this is a safe and supportive community

Having thoughts about killing can be common. Sometimes it can be to do with anger at something, or curiosity since it's such a taboo subject. But sometimes these thoughts can come randomly and be distressing and they may be described as 'intrusive thoughts'.

It's great that you know you would never act on these thoughts or even plan it. But if these thoughts are worrying you, then it's best that you talk with a professional such as a counsellor (a school one or a referral from your doctor) who will be able to help you manage these thoughts.

How are the neighbour's animals doing? Depending on how much they ate, it may not have affected them much (they may get sick, but whether may not get ill enough to die). You didn't know the grass was poisoned, so it wouldn't be entirely your fault. Though if anything did happen to the animals because of the grass that you fed them, then it's always best to admit to it. If you didn't, then the neighbour would be wondering what happened, and you may feel guilty but unable to talk about it. Being honest may be better for both you and your neighbour.


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