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lauridoglover Offline
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not fitting in - September 12th 2017, 04:03 AM

I don't feel 25 and that worries me. Should I be worried that I don't feel 25? Ill be 25 on September 29 so technically 25 almost. So yeah should I be worried I don't even feel 25 ?? Im not sure why I feel this way. I guess I feel this way because I don't look 25 and because I have no guy. I feel kind of like playing adult because im lonely and have no guy compared to others that i see that are 25 . And the thing that sucks is im living with my parents }: But even if I was not living with my parents, I would feel not 25 still because its just me and my dog making me feel not really 25 because Im living alone. Also looking at other adults, I just don't feel I measure up. When I look at others my age, I just don't feel Im at the same level as them. I also don't feel 25 because I don't look 25 , i look more like 19 . Also when I look at the work world, I don't feel like other adults my age that are working just by how they act and such hard to explain and then i look at me and i feel so under developed i look 19 not 25 and I feel I dont look the part of a true adult.

Should I be concerned that I don't feel 25??? Also why after 8 hrs of sleep , do i still feel tired??
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Re: not fitting in - September 12th 2017, 04:34 AM

Hey lauri-You should not be concerned. Enjoy looking younger than your age.-maybe you will be lucky and look 25 at 35. Most people our age still look and act like college age students. Everyone always talks about your brain being fully developed at 25- but I don't feel much different than I did at 20, and the same goes for a lot of people.

As for the guy thing, you aren't the only one. I don't have a partner either. A lot of people live alone even at 40. It is so annoying that some people think you have to have found someone or be married by a certain age. But even then, 25 is not the age where it is abnormal to be single. Plenty of 25 year olds are single.

A lot of people live at home at 25.. I don't,but I know a lot of normal people who do. It's because of college. People graduate college or grad school between 22 and 25 and a significant percent return home after. What you are experiencing is actually pretty normal among recent grads. It is something that Im dreading once grad school ends.
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Re: not fitting in - September 12th 2017, 01:06 PM

I struggle with similar feelings too, and like you, I still live at home, look younger than I am, and just generally feel 'less' of an adult than others.

I'm not too sure where this comes from, but I imagine that it's quite common, and not necessarily anything to worry about unless it's really affecting your life. I think it's important to remember though that when we feel this way, we are often comparing ourselves to others, which can make the feeling worse. So even though it's hard, it might help try to avoid comparing yourself and instead focus on the things that help to make you feel competent as an adult- such as your degree, your job etc., While some adults have moved out, others have stayed at home/moved back in, and perhaps are aiming to move out sometime, which I'm sure you could aim for as well.

Being with a guy doesn't necessarily mean that you are more of an adult, as there are many adults without partners. And in general age is just a number and we all mature at different rates anyway.

There are many reasons for feeling tired after sleep, ranging from not good quality of sleep and other sleep or general health related issues, to depression and mental health issues which can cause lethargy and 'brain fog'.

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Re: not fitting in - September 12th 2017, 05:53 PM

Hey there,

I have felt the way you feel from time to time. I think, the first thing to remember is that a lot of adults don't really feel like adults. My dad has been an adult forever and I have asked him about that and he has said that even he has times when he doesn't feel like an adult or he gets overwhelmed by the expectations placed on him for being an adult. I think that 'becoming' an adult or 'feeling' like an adult is something that happens gradually and as you add more responsibilities but even some of the most responsible adults don't feel like they are adults.

In regards to living with your parents, there are, actually a lot of people your age who live with their parents. There are even people who are older than you who do so. The thing is, that the cost of living is quite expensive in most places that finding an apartment to rent can be difficult for people starting out. I know my boyfriend and I have been looking up apartments in our town and one bedrooms are quite expensive. While, a lot of people can and do choose to get roommates to handle the expenses, sometimes it can be a lot easier to live with parents. I am still living with my dad and while I am hoping to move out at the end of next year or early 2019 I won't do so unless I can afford the rent. I could definitely seek out a roommate but since most of my friends are older and established I wouldn't be able to find a roommate that I am quite friendly with which is difficult for me.

As for relationships, they are difficult and they don't automatically make you become more 'adultish'. I have been in a relationship for 2.5 years and there are times when stuff happens and I don't know how to handle it and I feel really young again. Entering into a relationship can be an amazing thing but it is something a person should really only do if they feel ready to take on that kind of commitment.

The best thing you can do is to try and not compare yourself to others. I do this a lot and it has, mostly, gotten me down because I look at people my age and think about all the things they have accomplished. However, the fact is that everyone's journey is different and just because some people might be at a different place in life does not mean that you have not accomplished great things and aren't do well in life.

Best of luck.

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