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Nessie2 Offline
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I'm just not good. - September 30th 2017, 10:29 PM

I am not sure how else to put it -- I'm simply not good enough for anything. I'm not capable of investing my time into anything worthwhile. I can gush for hours as to why, but I'll just give you a few for the time being. I'm a stuck-up, antisocial loser with no friends, whose favorite activity is to sit in front of a screen all freakin' day. There's nothing to do here; no motivating factors. Just idiots who do drugs. At least I don't.

In the school's chess club, I lost to one player in three turns. Then, he proceeded to put me in a disadvantageous position, at which point I left the library and smashed my hand against a desk. Then, I cried for around 10 minutes, and with good reason - I never invest my time into anything good.

And then comes the gaming part. I like to game, but I'm ashamed that my library is limited, and that I have little skill compared to others. I keep on promising a certain friend I'll play Warframe, but I only do so sporadically. Usually I'm doing other stuff on the computer. Not to mention, I keep on falling to my death in certain TTT servers because I don't have a jumping pack. Once again, due to my lack of investment. I tried to gun down an enemy point-blank with a pistol. He OHK'd me with a shotgun. Well, that didn't work out well. It's proof that I can only be good if aim assist is on.

Why do I have to be the nerdy, uncircumcised loser that spends a lot of time on F-List - a site I shouldn't even be on?! I would cause myself further misfortune, but I'm scared of it and I have no methods of doing so.

My only redeeming factor, at this point, is my literacy and school skills.

I need MAJOR HELP.
   
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Celyn Offline
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Re: I'm just not good. - October 2nd 2017, 10:32 PM

There's nothing wrong with spending a lot of time on your computer, if that's what you are interested in and enjoy.

How would you have preferred the chess club situation to play out? You say that you feel you are not capable of investing your time into anything, but it might be less to do with capability and more to do with just not being interested or not wanting to invest your time. If you are interested in chess, then you could practice and invest time and perhaps may have done better and enjoyed it more.

I think it's understandable that you promise a friend about playing Warframe but only do so sporadically since you are doing other stuff on the computer. I'm the same with my friends. It can also be hard juggling different games and trying to get that commitment and investment when you are doing several other things. Perhaps you can create a schedule for certain times to play these games and how much time you can dedicate to them? If it's one thing that is important to remember is that investment and what you get from that, takes time and doesn't happen over night.

You aren't a loser though, and it's good that you won't cause yourself misfortune. If you're looking for friends, then it can help to take up your friends promise playing Warframe, or even asking your chess opponent to teach you or compete against you and make it casual so that you can try to become friends.


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