TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Noire Offline
When is the future?
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Noire's Avatar
 
Name: Jordan
Age: 28
Gender: Female

Posts: 5,230
Blog Entries: 457
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Violent thoughts - January 31st 2018, 06:08 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Trigger warning: Triggering, SH, Suicide

Hey all. I don't remember whether or not I've posted about this before here or not. Last fall I started having violent thoughts towards others. They were really graphic thoughts of hurting and sometimes killing people. Usually they were about someone I love but sometimes they were about random people. Turns out they were due to a medication I was taking at the time. We took me off the medication and since then the thoughts have largely stopped. I'd have them no more than once or twice a day, usually several days or more apart. They were less intense and it was easier to turn my thoughts away from them. They didn't bother me as much.

Starting around the time I began school this semester the violent thoughts have come back more urgently. A lot of them center around being at school, but I'm not angry about school at all; very much the contrary. Nor am I angry at my partner or my family but I seem to think about hurting/killing them, too. Some days the thoughts are more intense than others. Yesterday was really bad. Today has been okay so far, but then again I only just woke up an hour ago.

Basically these thoughts are not ME and they're driving me insane. They make me want to SH to try and get them to stop or to punish myself for having them, so now all my SH urges are present too. They also make me want to kill myself. I've fantasized about death several times in the last 24 hours. I feel like it would just be simpler than carrying on with all these thoughts- the violent thoughts, the SH thoughts. It's all getting to be too much. And it's unfair because life was just starting to get better. I was so happy and then all this happened.

I see my psychiatrist Monday and my therapist on Friday. I'm thinking about emailing my therapist. I don't want to alarm my psychiatrist though because the intensity of the thoughts seems to wax and wane and I don't know if it's a chemical problem or just a thinking pattern my brain has picked up.

What do I do? How do I get these thoughts to stop?


Love joins
Love unites
Love breaks us apart
The power to conquer here in our hearts
Enduring and sacred
Eternal as time
For love, love alone will conquer all


"A Million," by VNV Nation
  Send a message via Yahoo to Noire  
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Svisttt Offline
Art Dork~

Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Svisttt's Avatar
 
Name: Crystal
Gender: Female

Posts: 208
Join Date: January 26th 2018

Re: Violent thoughts - February 1st 2018, 06:00 PM

Heyyy

I'm so sorry you're going through all this <3 Definitely talk to your therapist and psychiatrist about all this. Til you can, maybe try distracting yourself when you get these thoughts? Play with play-do or something else like that, something to keep your hands and mind busy. You could also try writing whenever you feel that way, it'd be a good way to get those thoughts out if you don't want to talk to someone about it.

Know you're loved and you matter! I'm here if you need anyone to talk to!
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Celyn Offline
~One Skittles Minion~

Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Celyn's Avatar
 
Name: Holly
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Wales

Posts: 5,455
Blog Entries: 151
Join Date: June 16th 2009

Re: Violent thoughts - February 5th 2018, 09:48 PM

How did it go with the psychiatrist and/or therapist?

It's good that the thoughts had lessened when you were taken off the medication and I'm sorry to hear that they came back. Obviously I can't say why these thoughts are happening, but it sounds like an interesting link between these thoughts and the fact that you started feeling happier with school and everything.

Hope you are coping okay


HelpLINK and Live Help Officer
Feel free to PM me! Even if I canít help, Iím always going to listen <3
SKITTLIFY!

   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Noire Offline
When is the future?
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Noire's Avatar
 
Name: Jordan
Age: 28
Gender: Female

Posts: 5,230
Blog Entries: 457
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Violent thoughts - February 6th 2018, 02:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Celyn View Post
How did it go with the psychiatrist and/or therapist?

It's good that the thoughts had lessened when you were taken off the medication and I'm sorry to hear that they came back. Obviously I can't say why these thoughts are happening, but it sounds like an interesting link between these thoughts and the fact that you started feeling happier with school and everything.

Hope you are coping okay
My psychiatric appointment was rather upsetting and confusing. I don't really know what to do right now and I have a tough decision to make regarding whether or not to go to the hospital. We're trying a new medication and it may take time to work and she wants me to be in a controlled, stable environment while that happens.

I do think it's interesting that the thoughts started happening around the time I was feeling happier, too. While interesting though I'm not sure how much attention to pay to it because normally if I'm going to self-sabotage my thoughts tend towards depression, SH, and suicide. They've never tended towards homicidal/violent urges before. But you're right; it is interesting, and I'll explore it in therapy.


Love joins
Love unites
Love breaks us apart
The power to conquer here in our hearts
Enduring and sacred
Eternal as time
For love, love alone will conquer all


"A Million," by VNV Nation
  Send a message via Yahoo to Noire  
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Celyn Offline
~One Skittles Minion~

Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Celyn's Avatar
 
Name: Holly
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Wales

Posts: 5,455
Blog Entries: 151
Join Date: June 16th 2009

Re: Violent thoughts - February 8th 2018, 09:27 PM

It's good that you are trying a new medication but I understand that it's a difficult decision to make if it means you will need to be in a controlled environment.

I wonder if the thoughts could be self-sabotaging though? Even though homicidal thoughts aren't directed at yourself, it's still very upsetting for you, and leads you to want to hurt yourself as punishment. So in a way, you arrive at the same thoughts, just a different way around it. But yes, worth exploring in therapy!


HelpLINK and Live Help Officer
Feel free to PM me! Even if I canít help, Iím always going to listen <3
SKITTLIFY!

   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
thoughts, violent

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.