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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Dust and Ash
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Struggling - September 13th 2018, 08:19 PM

I feel like the whole world is crashing down on me. I can't think straight, my BPD is making me act on impulse and is causing me to ruin good things. I don't think my medicine is working anymore and I can't handle the thought of people hating me. I feel like I have to change my entire self just to please people and I feel like I have to suffer to make people happy and accept me. Is this my BPD and depression acting up, or maybe something else?

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Re: Struggling - September 17th 2018, 02:55 PM

Since we're not professionals, we can't really say what is causing this. However, you know yourself and your symptoms better than anyone else can. How are you feeling now? What do you personally think is making you feel this way? Do you think it's BPD, depression, both, or something else? If you think it's something else, maybe something triggered you.

If or when you feel ready, maybe you can work on being impulsive. For instance, when you feel like doing or saying something, you can stop and think for a little while and see if it is something that is okay to do before doing it.

Can you tell someone you think your medication isn't working anymore? Change with medication takes time but it can make a world of difference when the positive changes with it do occur.

You don't need to change yourself to satisfy other people. Even if you do change yourself, you won't be able to please everyone. If people don't like you or can't accept you for who you are, that is their problem, not yours.

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Celyn Offline
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Re: Struggling - September 18th 2018, 07:46 PM

When we are going through a relapse or a trigger where we feel worse than usual, it's easy to start falling into the trap that others are going to hate us. But if you have supportive people in your life who know that you struggle with mental health, they won't hate you. Try to keep reminding yourself that you are going through a bad patch but that doesn't mean people are hating you.

Acting on impulse can make life more complicated especially if we make poor decisions. Is it possible to take a quick few seconds to stop and think before you act on an impulse? Even if it may seem like a good idea to do something in the moment, ask yourself if you may regret it later on, or whether it's your emotions that are driving the decision and not logic. You can always wait for your emotions to lessen a bit and then make a decision whether you want to do something or not.

Everyone has things they struggle with, and with mental health, we do have some responsibility when it comes to looking after ourselves and recovering. But this doesn't mean that you should change for others completely. And also, you are more than your diagnoses. They are a part of you, but not all of you. So you'll never have to change your entire self!

As it's been said, we can't say for sure what's behind your recent mood and behavior changes. But I do think it's a good idea to talk with your doctor, especially if you feel your medication isn't working as it should be.

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Re: Struggling - September 19th 2018, 05:02 PM

Thanks for the feedback! I'm definitely going to talk to my doctor about everything.

When the world drags you down, roll over and smell the roses.
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