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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Do you ever feel like you won't be able to function in the real world? - November 10th 2019, 01:12 AM

Do you ever feel like you won't be able to function in the real world? And how do you cope with that thought? And what if you really can't? :/ Bc that's where I'm at right now.


   
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Re: Do you ever feel like you won't be able to function in the real world? - November 10th 2019, 06:29 AM

I feel that often. It’s hard.
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Re: Do you ever feel like you won't be able to function in the real world? - November 10th 2019, 03:36 PM

I feel that way all the time. I'm almost thirty. I have disability. Right now I can't work or go to school; I basically only do therapy. My life is small and I feel I have nothing to contribute to anyone or anything. It's hard to feel like I am coping. But I find journaling has helped in looking back at the steps I have made to cope better. Making personal progress is a form of functioning in the real world. Meeting goals, however small, is helping you function. It doesn't always have to be something big like having a full-time job or school or driving or what have you. Even getting up in the morning is making a choice to function.

The real world is scary. I have lived a large amount of time in my life in institutions. While I hate my limited freedoms there there is a safety in living in a place like that. The world is smaller and more structured and I know what to expect. It can be tempting to stay there, and it can be easy to feel like, when I get out, I'm not ready for "the real world." But I do the best I can, you know? I see so much growth in myself and even though I don't feel like I'm functioning most of the time, I can see I'm trying, and that says something.

If you truly can't? I doubt it. Most people who have independent living skills can function in the real world. I wouldn't doubt yourself too much, Dez. You are a good person with a good heart and I see you help others here. I think, despite whatever doubts you may have, you can make it in the real world. It just might take time and patience.

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Re: Do you ever feel like you won't be able to function in the real world? - November 10th 2019, 07:03 PM

I'm wondering what makes you feel like you won't be able to function in the real world?

I'm in a similar position. I thought it was a mixture of just being myself (quiet, passive etc) and the abuse and bullying I had been through that was making life difficult. I thought if I put myself through therapy, if I tried to change myself, be more confident etc. that I would be okay. But things that happened in my life made me become aware of Aspergers/autism and that it might be a possibility for me. Which, if that's the case, does make life more complicated. Since I've not been diagnosed, then I can't say for sure, and there is always the chance that I might not be. But that doesn't dismiss the fact that, online, I find it easier to interact, whereas in person, I barely say a word. I used to fret and get really anxious about how I would cope with the real world when I really felt that I wasn't prepared but also that, with my past experiences, I just didn't fit into the real world anyway. What works for me is trying to do a mixture of what interests me and what I'm good at...so in my case, anything that combines an interest of mental health, with my skills in written communication. While it's good to step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself, I realised it was pointless aiming for work that requires a lot of people skills when the most you'll get out of me is 'Hmm, yeah'. If I wanted to do things that required more social skills, I realised that I would have to start small and break things down into steps.

Basically, playing to your strengths and breaking things down into steps can really help. I also agree with Jordan in that it can take time and patience. I'm not sure what your goals are in life, but sometimes it can feel that if we don't do things by a certain time, then we have 'failed'. But this is far from true, and what we really have to accept is that we all get to where we are going in our time. Be gentle with yourself and ask for support if you feel you need it


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Re: Do you ever feel like you won't be able to function in the real world? - November 10th 2019, 07:36 PM

My coping skills, even after years and years of therapy, just aren’t there. Little things make me freeze or spiral or go into a complete breakdown. I’m not doing well on my thesis and most of my professors aren’t willing to give me the level of help I need because I won’t have it in the real world when I go for jobs and such. I’ve quit jobs in the past or not even applied because I can’t cope and I’ve taken the easiest and safest route out too many times. I spiral way too easily. Agh.


   
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Re: Do you ever feel like you won't be able to function in the real world? - November 14th 2019, 04:39 PM

Sorry to hear your professors aren't willing to give you the help you need because you won't have that help in the real world. I get where they are coming from, but at the same time, you are in school, not yet in the real world, so I see no reason why they can't help you.

I don't know about jobs and such, but I do know that sometimes when we stick with things and try not quit them, the anxiety we might be experiencing tends to decrease with time as we get used to it. Although I understand it can be hard trying to balance your emotions, mental health and trying to push yourself to go out and stay out of your comfort zone. I don't really have much advice since I've done the same and not taken up jobs because I totally broke down in tears and panicked at the thought. You aren't alone in dealing with this, if that helps


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