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Temperance Offline
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Question Help?? - November 25th 2019, 02:33 AM

OK so to start off, Iím going to explain. I am diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder (which the psychiatrist is seriously rethinking at this point and maybe scratching from my list of diagnoses next time I see him), GAD, and chronic suicidal ideation.

Lately, Iíve been in a low and have been having a hell of a time bringing myself out of it. But also lately, Iíve been experiencing some new symptoms that are pretty scary to me. Iíve been seeing things discoloured that look normal aside from the colour being very weird,I smell things burning when thereís nothing there, and I hear mechanical beeping noises and phones ringing when nothing is happening. No, now, before you tell me I need to book an appointment with my doctor or psychiatrist I have one coming up in a couple weeks. The only thing is, along with the weird mini hallucinations Iíve also been having vivid violent dreams about doing significant harm to myself and to other people. This is what rattles me the most because I know that I would never act on the harming other people In waking life while Iím in my right mind, but I have acted on the harming myself way more than once. I am scared to tell the psychiatrist this stuff because I feel like heís just going to brush it off as me being attention seekingÖ Am I wrong to think that? Should I actually tell him, or should I just keep it to myself? Is this what psychosis looks like?

Honestly, at this point any help or advice that you can offer would be great because I donít know what to do right now especially about the disturbing dreams because they rattle me and make my anxiety go through the roof because I am always afraid of that one if moment or the moment I explode am I capable of doing something like that? Like I said Iím just kind a lost and could really use some Advice or tips to guide me in the right direction!

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Re: Help?? - December 1st 2019, 06:03 PM

Sorry for the late reply!

Also, I'm sorry to hear you are having a particularly low time at the moment and experiencing new symptoms. The smelling burning and hearing beeps or phones ringing when nothings happening may be symptoms of psychosis, but since we aren't professionals, then we can't say for sure. But you are going through a difficult time and your diagnosis' of Bipolar and BPD suggest a risk of experiencing psychotic symptoms when you feel worse.

The dreams may also be related to your mental health, and though they seem very scary and unsettling, the dreams are just dreams. They aren't you, and you know you would never hurt anyone.

It's good that you will be seeing your psychiatrist soon. I suggest bringing up these new symptoms as they do seem to be bothering you. You shouldn't be brushed off as attention seeking at all. It may mean that your medication might need adjusting or maybe going through therapy to help you through this difficult time (more so if there have been external events affecting your mental health).

While dreams can sometimes represent things that are on our mind, it doesn't mean that you are capable of exploding and hurting others the way you see in your dreams. Do you have a bedtime routine? Maybe try to relax before bed and if you have a bad dream, remind yourself that it's just a bad dream and not a reflection of you.

Hope your psychiatrist can help. Let us know how you get on

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