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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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How to get therapy without family knowing - July 31st 2020, 05:41 AM

[SIZE="a"]My mental health has been bad lately and is serenely affecting everything; however it seems my family doesn't "believe" in mental health, despite my stepmom having anxiety and my father having ADHD.

I tried calling the doctor for behavior for ADHD or ADD since I was never diagnosed, but teachers have suspected something. I was never taken to be tested and my parents would never mention it to a doctor. When I called them, I described my symptoms. They told me a doctor would have noticed this, as it's "rare" to be diagnosed at 18. I rarely went to any doctor as a kid. Once when I was 5, then 6, then 13, then 17 and now. A lot of symptoms, like never remembering something, or dissociating for several minutes was normal until I was told otherwise. I told them I had speech therapy and special reading classes, which I still take in COLLEGE. Describing the symptoms over the phone sounded fake.

There's also depression, anxiety, ED, and probably some other things I'm lead to believe are normal. Have insomnia and had it since I was very young. I don't remember a time where I didn't see at least 1 AM.

When my dad saw me over the phone, I lied and said it was for headaches and they said it was probably stress, mainly to see if there was any reaction at all. Basically said I'm too young to be stressed. And today, my youngest sister thanked herself and as a joke I said "self care." my stepmom basically turned that into a political phrase, like caring about yourself was a bad thing.

I kinda understand why my other sister went berserk all of a sudden now.

They also swing back and forth on whether or not they like LGB (they are transphobic any day) and being bisexual, this is fun ;-;

Anyways, I need therapy but not sure HOW to do it without my parents questioning it, especially if I use their insurance???

p.s. If I tell my therapist about me probably having B.E.D, will they send me to a hospital? because there's no way I can mysteriously disappear under their noses like that[/size]
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Re: How to get therapy without family knowing - July 31st 2020, 06:35 PM

I had the same issues with getting therapy and my parents not believing in mental health issues. To note, I am in the US, 18 is legal adult here, health insurance is horrible.

I personally had to wait until college to get free counseling provided by the university. They will not tell your parents if you seek help, but you have to be enrolled as a student. High schools also offer limited counseling services, but they may contact your parents if you say anything "concerning." You could go to an outside facility, but if you are on your parent's health insurance, they will see the copays. It might be worth checking out local support groups for the time being. Some may tell your parents, some may not; you should be able to ask. A full time job will often offer you health insurance. You can also enroll in your own plan if you get a job (if you don't go to college right away or aren't an enrolled college student). Sliding scale therapists exist if you don't have health insurance.

Counselors CAN commit you to a hospital, but usually only if you're at high risk of danger to self or others. You CAN deny hospital admission as a legal adult. Your counselor can also refuse to see you if you do because of refusing treatment. Whether you should is a separate question, and I'd say it depends. They likely won't try that anyway though, unless you are at a dangerous weight or have suicidal intentions.

I'd suggest reading about APA counselor confidentiality and patient rights if you are in the US.

Feel free to contact PM/VM if you want to discuss any of this further. I am also queer without an accepting family if you want to talk about that too. Hope this helps.

"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
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