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DarkBlaze13 Offline
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apathy and anger - July 31st 2009, 05:56 AM

Well...
I wasn't sure where to put this. But I decided to put this here...

I have these...I guess you could call them 'bouts of apathy' where I just don't care.
And I don't mean like not caring about what to have for dinner or whatever, I mean like...not caring about people.
I don't care about my family, my friends, anyone. And then I feel incredibly antisocial.
And angry.
Not that I can explain it.
I mean, I suppose inherently I'm an angry person. But I never express any of it really. Much.
And I'm not prone to bouts of rage where I'll flip out and smash things. Not in public anyway.
...I don't know.
I'm kind of just babbling.
I think really the apathy is just anger. I become mad at people (for no real reason) so I don't care.
And half the time I don't know where it comes from. Plus it's been getting worse. It's easier for me to become angry it seems. And any sadness or fear just morphs into anger.
I don't know how to deal with it or express it.

I just noticed this...
I don't know.
Whatever train of thought I was on just exploded so I can't try to explain anymore :/
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Ngikhona Offline
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Re: apathy and anger - August 11th 2009, 05:59 PM

It's good you recognized this, even if you don't really understand it. It sounds like maybe you're at least not apathetic about yourself and you do care about yourself, and so do your friends and family. Even if it seems weird since you feel like you don't care about your friends, it would probably be a good start to try and talk to them about how you're feeling. Maybe they've noticed a change in how you're acting and have been concerned but haven't reached out to you, or maybe they have tried talking to you? I think you just kind of have to go against your better judgement and try to talk to your friends. If you really can't/don't want to talk to them, here is a good place to find people to talk to. As far as dealing with and expressing your anger, I find that having a journal is really nice. If I'm angry I'll just stab at the paper or scribble all over or sometimes I'll write down random words or thoughts. I know that your anger isn't self-harm, but the sticky on the Self-Harm forum that has a list of alternatives can also be really good for any stress in general. PM me if you ever need anything.


"Love me for me, accept the fact I'm true, live like I want, fufill my dreams,
Dream of me, run out free, capture your words and never let them go."

I'll see you on the other side.
   
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