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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ThePunkAlien Offline
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Arrow What is it like having ADD or being in a relationship with someone who has? - August 5th 2009, 10:31 PM

For those with attention deficit disorder (ADD), or those that know or also in love with someone that has it. Is there anything I should know or be aware of? Iím asking because I want to be supportive and be there for her. I want to know what she goes through having it because I think I already see how itís been impacting our relationship.

Weíre perfect for each other, everything lines up and thereís this indefinable bond thatís there. But, one of the things Iíve noticed and had difficulty with in the beginning was when I would call or leave a message or anything Ė sheíd always procrastinate in responding back and then apologize for it. I didnít understand this until I looked up ADD online and found that one of the things is forgetfulness and sometimes extreme-procrastination. Iím starting to understand what I see going on here between us and would like to know if thereís anything else and if so what that is.

I mean, I know because of that things will be hard and challenging. But, sheís the girl of my dreams. I look around and no one else can even compare to her. Iím willing to sacrifice whatever needs to be done to be with her through thick and thin. Itís going to make things harder, but to me sheís worth the wait and the fight of dealing with this. Together.

So, if you guys can just help me out in understanding what itís like to have ADD and the various ways that might impact a relationship that would be more than helpful.
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Re: What is it like having ADD or being in a relationship with someone who has? - August 5th 2009, 11:45 PM

My younger brother is only 7, but he's already been diagnosed with having fairly severe ADD.
Unfortunatly, there's little than you can do to "help". The most you can do is, unfortunatly again, is also the hardest thing to do. Be patient. Realize that some of the things she does, she can't help. I know it's difficult, I have a hard time controlling my frustration with my little brother sometimes. But really, we don't know what it's like, so it can be hard for us to sympathize and understand.
Patience, understanding, and really trying to not lay the blame on them, it's the best thing for the situation, and more than that, she'll surely appreciate your support

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Re: What is it like having ADD or being in a relationship with someone who has? - August 6th 2009, 04:16 AM

I was diagnosed with ADD a few years ago and i was prescribed Concerta (Ritalin). The ony real impact it'll have on your relationship is that she can be forgetful or avoid things that take effort sometimes. But really ADD isn't serious and it should have virtually no discernible impact on you guys.

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Re: What is it like having ADD or being in a relationship with someone who has? - August 16th 2009, 10:43 PM

I have ADHD, which is like ADD but just a bit more hyperactive and I'm 14 which is where it really starts to impact my life, I find i always need to be moving or fiddling or fidgeting otherwise i get really worked up, and i can't keep concentrating on something thats not really interesting for more than 10 minutes, i find it hard to get comfortable and little ood Luck
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Re: What is it like having ADD or being in a relationship with someone who has? - August 17th 2009, 01:00 AM

Hey Josh,
My older brother has ADD and he is 17. He basically just has a really hard time paying attention in school. He also gets extremely frustrated with having to do homework or listen to some one talk for a long time. I'm sure your relationship will be fine. She may just need a little bit more comfort and care but I'm sure you can do that. Talk to her and ask her what she needs more from you. Good luck!

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Re: What is it like having ADD or being in a relationship with someone who has? - August 17th 2009, 06:53 AM

Wow, you're smart.

I guess just read the symptoms and try to recognize them if they become a problem.

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Re: What is it like having ADD or being in a relationship with someone who has? - August 24th 2009, 07:06 AM

Both my cousin and my best friend have ADD. Really, all I can suggest is that you be patient. You may have to remind her of things every now and then. But just let her know that you understand, love, and support her. =]

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Re: What is it like having ADD or being in a relationship with someone who has? - August 24th 2009, 07:12 AM

I've dated someone with ADHD before. He had an outgoing personality, consumed more caffeine that anyone really should, and masturbated a lot.
Haven't noticed anything else besides that, really. x

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Re: What is it like having ADD or being in a relationship with someone who has? - August 31st 2009, 09:34 AM

My boyfriend has ADD. He takes a pill for it, but I can tell that he has a hard time sometimes. It usually isn't much of a big deal. I think mostly, people with ADD have a hard time focusing on things, as in they get distracted very easily. When you're in a relationship with someone who has it, you just need to be aware that you may become a distraction if they are trying to do something. Like maybe you could talk on the phone with someone while filling out some paperwork or something important, but you should realize that someone with ADD may not really be able to mult-task like that. So if she's working on something important, just realize that it's probably best to just leave her alone and stay out of the way for a while (as in don't call or text her while she's doing something she really needs to focus on).
I had a really awful day once. My boyfriend needed to do this extra credit project in his science class. He was procrastinating on it alot. So this one day, we both got home from school and were texting for alittle bit as usual. Then I asked him a question and he said he'd talk later, he had to work on the science thing. He was pretty rude about it and hurt my feelings so I was upset and kept texting (and later IMing him when he was online). He was having a hard enough time focusing on his project and eventually got mad and told me he couldn't talk. And if we'd been together, he would have been yelling, so I was crying. And got all upset and eventually called him and after a couple minutes of talking, I calmed down. But the mistake I had made was that I should have just let him go the first time he said he needed to, even though he wasn't super nice about it but I didn't and ended up in that whole thing. :P
So basically, I think you'll just need to be aware that if she says she needs to not talk to you, just let it go even if she's rude or harsh or something. She just has a hard time focusing and so it can be really rough and make her irritable and frustrated.
Be patient and calm and there for her. That's what she needs. Good luck!

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Re: What is it like having ADD or being in a relationship with someone who has? - August 31st 2009, 12:05 PM

One of my friends has ADHD, and sometimes if say, his girlfriend doesn't look at him he'll get really angry and go home.
He'd make an argument out of nothing, but obviously she didn't do anything because she knows that it's the ADHD and not actually him trying to be mad at her.

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