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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Lil Offline
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Question Really shy??nervous?? - October 16th 2009, 07:18 PM

So i wasnt sure if i put this in the right forum anyways...
I dont know why but whenever im at school i get really nervous around people,except for my closest friends.Especially teachers,whenever they ask me a question my voice gets so quite and i stutter, and get uber nervous,forgetting the answer.Or if i have to stand in front of the class and present something aaaah! its a nightmare,my face will get red and no one can hear me.Im not sure why i get so scared.Even around some of my newer group of friends i get nervous and wont include myself in there conversation i dont want to annoy them.Im not sure what to do,my teachers get mad at me and tell my parents who get mad at me and tell me to get over it but ive tried i just do these things without realizing it.Ive gotten better i use to be afraid to call people and i never use to answer the phone,which now i can do finally.I hate buying things buy myself in stores cause i get really nervous when the person at the register starts asking me questions.Any advice on how to be less nervous in front of a class,teacher or around people?


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Re: Really shy??nervous?? - October 16th 2009, 07:26 PM

I'm like this in so many wys. I hate talking on the phone like you said you used to not like but yet I awnser the phone but I can't be on the phone for more then about two minutes. When I'm with a group of friends I really don't instagate conversations I wait till people include me. When I was going to school I used to just sit in class and be very quite. I have no clue why. All the advise I can give you is just try to over come it step by step..dont try do get all of this faer and nervousness gone with in a week. Take like talking to teachers and work on that one week, then your friends the next,then the class the next on so o untill you feel comfortable with the way things are.


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Re: Really shy??nervous?? - October 17th 2009, 02:11 AM

I am like that also, I used to be a lot worse about it. It just takes doing it over and over again to become more confident and comfortable doing it.
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Re: Really shy??nervous?? - October 17th 2009, 02:14 AM

Hey Lil,
I definately understand what you are going through. It is really tough for a lot of people to stand up in front of the class. You'd be surprised how many people in your class have the same problem. My advice would be to ask some of you friends if they have the same fear. You can practice saying a speach in front of your close friends or even in the mirror. It really helps. Maybe even talk to your teachers before hand and tell them you have a fear of talking in front of the class. That way you can be prepared before hand and practice what you are going to say. You are definately making progress if you are now answering the phone when you didn't before. Also, when you are called on, try not to think about it as such a big deal. Pretend it's just you and your friend and you are answering their question. If worse comes to worse, just say I don't know. Or, try the old way and picture everyone in their underwear.
Hope this helps!
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Re: Really shy??nervous?? - October 18th 2009, 11:40 PM

Hey there,

It's completely normal to feel like this, especially in school. There is a huge amount of people who find it hard to speak in front of others (like in a classroom situation). It's also very common to start stuttering and for your mind to go blank when somebody puts you on the spot and asks you a question in the middle of a lesson.

This can basically be down to low confidence levels, and being naturally shy. I tell you now that most teenagers are like this! It's the minority that can easily speak out in lessons and not get nervous. A good way to increase your confidence and self esteem is to practice talking to yourself in a mirror for example. If you have a speech to do in class (or make one up!) just practice it in front of a mirror, and to your family... it does get easier.

Something I taught myself to do is not to care about what other people think of me. I just kept thinking that no matter what people say or do to me, I'm still going to live at the end of it. And then I just once said something out in class. And nobody laughed. A few people agreed, and since then I've found it easier to speak to people.



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Re: Really shy??nervous?? - October 19th 2009, 06:35 PM

Im like this aswell. I never used to like talking in front of my class at school, and I used to be really shy and not really talk to anyone apart from my friends. Lots of people feel like that and some may seem like they are really confident but underneath they could be feeling really nervous but just hiding it. Its all about confidence building really. You have to make yourself talk to people because thats the only way your going to feel confident about it is if you practise it. When you actually talk in front of your class, or talk to someone who isn't one of your close friends, you might find its not as bad as you thought it was going to be. The thought may be worse than the doing. So just take it in small steps.
   
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Re: Really shy??nervous?? - October 28th 2009, 02:54 PM

I am totally like this. I have learned how to manage it though. My main problem was, was that I was all bottled up with anxiety and I had no where to get rid of it. I took up things I liked to do, like baking. I bake every day sometimes haha. But it really helps, it puts my mind at ease.
Another reason why I was shy was because I always felt like I was always being judged. I learned that people seriously don't care if I mess up. People will forget about it. I am being too preoccupied with myself. I learned that when I stoped directing my focus inward, and focussed on what actually was,my anxiety dissapeared.
   
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Re: Really shy??nervous?? - October 29th 2009, 05:17 AM

Again, like other have said, I really can identify with what you are going through. I am diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. Basically i am nervous all of the time in all settings that people i dont know are in (school, stores, etc). Anxiety is hard to work on I think because its almost just something that you have to force yourself through. sometimes there are tricks (like if i know im going to be nervous, i put something small in my pocket- like a worry stone- and i will fiddle with that) but in the end its about trying to push through it. its very difficult and anxiety is such a hard thing. I know for me, my social anxiety and school phobia prevented me from actually leaving my house for about 4 months (which i dont want to go back to again).
I would say that just know that you are not alone. as long as you are doing the best you can, sometimes that all that can be asked for. I am in college right now, and I receive accomodations for my classes for excuded absentaces and things like that. Not everyone understands anxiety and what it is but it is litterally paralizing. you just need to do what you can do. maybe seeing a therapist and talking about it would help.
im sorry that im not too much help. i am struggeling a lot with my anxiety so i dont really know what to do either. but if there is anything you ever want to talk about you can pm me.
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Re: Really shy??nervous?? - November 1st 2009, 09:41 PM

i know how you feel, im the same way im always nervous to talk to peeople im not close with. My close group of friends started doing this thing where they would give me like tasks of things i had to do that were outside my comfort zone they passed this list around to everyone even our guy frineds who added stuff to it. Then i had to do the stuff on the list, like not cover my face wehn im nervos or other things. i mean it helped a little maybe if you try having your close friends do this it will help you.. good luck!
   
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