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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
JackOffJill Offline
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How can i love myself? - October 31st 2009, 06:18 PM

honestly, im scared. i really am. things have been pretty crazy for me lately. I have been hating myself more and more. ever since i was at least 4 years old i have hated myself. ive hated how i look, what i think, how i act, everything. because of that hate, i have been doing things to try to feel better about myself- but honestly they arent good ways.
One way that i try to make myself feel better about myself is by talking to guys online. i talk to them online about sex so that i can hear people tellingme that i am pretty and sexy and wanted. i feel like if i hear enough people telling me these things that i will start to believe it. well 4 years later and obviously this isnt working. most of the time i just feel used.
i also have sex to try to feel better about myself. thankfully i am too scared to meet up with most people so i have only had sex with 2 guys (and one is my bf). but when i am feeling down, or hating myself, i notice that i always do everything that i can to get my bf to have sex with me. and if he doesnt, i always put myself down.
im just lost and confused right now. i know that i need to start learning how to love myself in order to move on with a lot of things in my life. i know that i need to learn to love myself so that i can properly love my bf. right now i do a lot to push people away. i will say things to hurt them or scare them or anything- to make people leave me. i feel like i deserve to be left alone, to hurt, to suffer. i feel like i deserve all of the punishment in the world.
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Re: How can i love myself? - October 31st 2009, 07:01 PM

hello Karyn first of all i want you to know that no one deserves to be alone,to hurt or to suffer.
I know how hard it can be learning to love yourself but you will get there, talking to strangers about sex so they will make you feel fullfilled is not the answer it may give you an initial feeling of happyness but they will not give you the love and support you need to love yourself.
Have you talked to your bf about this? maybe you could tell him that your struggling with your self image he should be there to support you.
There are other ways to make yourself feel beautiful eating healthy and doing excersize will help clear your mind and will give you an energy boost it can really improve the small things like shiny hair good skin and nails etc. my advice would be to do something for yourself do something that makes you happy treat yourself you need to learn that you are worthy you deserve treats and you deserve to be happy.
if you want to talk more feel free to pm me.

miika x


~pm me anytime, night or day, i want to know what you have to say~

   
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Re: How can i love myself? - October 31st 2009, 08:15 PM

i feel the same way. expect i drink to feel better about myself. i always think i don't look good enough, or i don't say the right things. i really feel as i hate myself, more and more lately. bleh.

has anything happened to you to make you feel this way?

i had a bad past, alot of abuse and i think that's why i feel the way i do. maybe it's the same for you?

idk hun, i'm in the same boat as you so i can't really offer any help, but i'm here if you need to talk.
   
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Re: How can i love myself? - November 1st 2009, 03:44 AM

luckily i havnt suffered from any kind of abuse. i know this may sound wrong, but because i wasnt abused it makes me mad that i dont know why i hate myself. like i feel like if something bad happened to me in the past, then i would have a reason to feel the way that i do. but honestly, i had a pretty happy and normal childhood- and then when i was 12 my whole world came crashing down for no reason and i became horribly depressed. some days i just wish something had happened to me so that id have an explaination, so that id have something to work on, so that id have something that i could talk to someone about.
but i really appreciate the advice. i will definately have to start running again because thats something that i used to do for myself that i havnt done in a loooong time. thanks for the help and advice and for just being supportive.
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Re: How can i love myself? - November 1st 2009, 08:27 PM

12 years old? That was middle school. Everyone I talk to started hating themselves in middle school for no reason (I'm completely serious. I think it was just a bad time.) Um...I don't know if this will help or not, but I remember for some reason it really helped me. It's from a book called "The Meditation Bible" by Madonna Gaulding.

Love Yourself
Self-hatred is common in our culture. This meditation will help you counteract any feelings of self-hatred, including shame or low self-esteem.

Little in our lives teaches self-love. You may be berating, disciplining and punishing yourself into the person you think you 'should' be. You may be spending your life feeling that there is something wrong with you, and trying to fix it. This is a form of self-hatred.It is important to approach any self-improvement exercise, including any meditation in this book, from a place of basic self-acceptance.

Preparation: Monitor and self-talk for a day and notice how much of what you say to yourself is negative. It may show up as "I'm a stupid idiot for forgetting that memo" or "I hate my thighs".

Practice:
1. Sit on a cushion or chair in a quiet place. Visualize your higher power in front of you. It could be Jesus, Buddha, Shakti, Mohammed, or just a wise form of youself.
2. Imagine your higher power smiling at you with great love and compassion, accepting you as you are. Understand that he of she does not demand that you "fix" anything about yourself to deserve his or her love. Know that he or she wants you to accept yourself exactly as you are, and treat yourself with kindness and respect as they already do.
3. Thank your higher power for reminding you to be kind towards yourself. Tell him or her that with their help and encouragement, you will refrain from hating yourself and will encourage yourself to accept yourself exactly as you are. Promise that you will try to live your life with complete self-acceptance and self-love.
   
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Re: How can i love myself? - November 1st 2009, 09:28 PM

wow i know exactly how you feel.. I feel the same way and do most of the same things you do. Someone told me like for all the negitive comments you think aboiut yourself you have to say a positive one with it.. idk dosnt really work for me but maybe it would for you. i hope you find some way to feel better about yourself.. good luck!
   
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Re: How can i love myself? - November 2nd 2009, 05:10 AM

thanks. ill have to try some things and work on my self esteem. its always always been bad and i dont know why. im hoping i can improve it though because i think that it would help a lot of the issues that i am dealing with.
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