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Ostentatious Offline
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I hate everyone (lol whiny emo rant) - November 2nd 2009, 04:03 AM

I hate people. I lie to them for fun. I love trolling and harming people, it's like an addiction; I can't feel alive unless they're in pain. But, I don't want my existence to be defined by another's mere suffering. And it's eating away at me that I hate people this much. I really don't want to, I want to be full of love, sparkles and sunshine. Al right maybe not but I definitely want to feel guilty when I trash someone's computer with a particularly malevolent virus. Someone gets lynched because they're black, I laugh.. some stuck-up skank gets herpes, I laugh. Steve Irwin dies. I laugh. I hate Steve Irwin.

It sucks hating people to the point that you can't feel sympathetic for harming them... all I can do is view them in a really cynical light. And I guess I give off this aura of malevolence because whenever I meet someone in real life they can somehow pick up the general feeling of 'I so wish I had a hatchet to bury into your face’. (It's not like I'm some weirdo who doesn't bathe, has a 'rapist' beard and pedophile glasses; I look relatively normal. )

So dear reader I gotta ask you. How does Ostentatious get his groove back? How do I stop hating people and become a (quote-unquote) normal member of society?


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Prozac Offline
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Re: I hate everyone (lol whiny emo rant) - November 2nd 2009, 12:32 PM

Hi Ostentatious,

I'm sorry to hear that your feelings are bothering you right now, but it's good that you have recognised that this is a problem to you and that you're being proactive in looking for help.
I can understand why it may be frustrating if you seem to be focused on the negative points of things and negative behaviours. I have not had any particular experience with extreme sadistic thoughts or feelings myself so I can only imagine what you're going through right now.
I do believe that talking to someone about these thoughts would be a good idea for you as it may help you to understand your thoughts that bit better and to learn more about why you're thinking these thoughts. Ask yourself some questions. What makes you feel good if you hear someone has been hurt? Why does it make you feel this way? Perhaps talking about these things or writing down how you're feeling could help you.
If you're at risk of harming others then it is extremely important that you do tell someone how you are feeling so that you can get the help that you deserve.

Take care.
   
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