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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
itsDIEagain Offline
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Recently iv'e become scared of everything. - November 4th 2009, 09:09 AM

So the title said it,recently im very afraid of everything almost.Im 18 years of age and im a male that stays at home and have the house to myself alot of the time.Recently iv'e noticed that i get very scared for stuff that any person would never get scared at.Like when im in the bath tub and i wash my hair and put my head under water to wash off the shampoo,something will tell me that there is someone that is going to drown you now so when you lift up your head you better be ready.Then i lift up my head very fast and have the look of a complete nut case on my face.

Not only that,but iv'e always been an extremely shy person and i don't talk to people that iv'e never met unless they talk to me first.I have not left my house in several months,mabey 3 or 4 months now.Only to go out into the driveway and once when i got my hair cut.Those were the only 2 times.I avoid leaving the house because im fully afraid of the outside world now.

Also,when im alone at home then i keep on checking the windows to see if someone is planning an ambush on my house for no reason.It feels like someone is watching me.Iv'e had a couple of random outbursts where if someone knocks on our door i will go fetch the biggest knife we have and walk up to the door and make my youngest sister answer the door.

Also,when the phone rings i make my sister answer when it scares me.When i get really panicked and i think that this person is in the house when im alone i take the knife once again and walk up and down in every room and i start smacking the doors and i call this person out.

I know for a fact i have anger issues,that's been established long ago.2 examples would be that i abuse my youngest sister and if my older sisters interfere i would physically hurt or come close to killing them.Iv'e also stabbed my cousin in her leg with a screw driver but this was when i was 12 years of age and im now 18 as previously mentioned.

I don't want to be this and i hate it.But why am i becoming so shy that i think people want to get me and i won't leave my house?
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
JackOffJill Offline
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Re: Recently iv'e become scared of everything. - November 4th 2009, 05:20 PM

i dont know exactly what you are dealing with but I was in a similar situation about 3 years ago. I was 16 years old, i was a high school junior and I didnt leave my house for 4 months. I was terrified. I would try to step outside my front door but i would panic and would be physically unable to move. For me, the fear was being around people and having to see people.
I also have silimar experiences when I am taking showers- i feel like someone is breaking into my house and that i wont be able to hear them and that they are going to hurt me while im in the shower/bath. for me i have a hard time taking a shower if i am alone in my hosue. i dont know where this fear came from for me- but it sounds like you have similar fears.
I wish that i had some advice but i dont have that much. it sounds like you have anxiety issues. like for me, the reason why i didnt leave my house was because i have social anxiety and it got out of control. you may be having similar social fears. its not an easy anxiety disorder to have. but honestly, the first step you have to take with it, is leaving your house. find a friend or family memeber who you trust and take a walk or go to a store or something. just try to leave your comfort zone. its a difficult step but if you can do that, then maybe you can try to see a therapist. honestly what you are dealing with is hard because you are alone. going and seeing a professional would be very helpful. like i said, i know its a hard step, but if you need to talk or anything you can PM me. ive been where you are now, at least part of it.
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Re: Recently iv'e become scared of everything. - November 4th 2009, 06:47 PM

it's normal to have fears of being attacked or your house being broken into... it's just really a matter of letting those thoughts bounce out of your mind. Try bouncing your thoughts away from you... distracting yourself. I think about these things often as well and if i let myself to continue to think about them once they've entered my mind I can literally bring myself to panic. Thry rationalizing with yourself also. This will help, trust me.

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Like a diet of the mind, I just choose not to indulge certain appetites; like my appetite for patterns; perhaps my appetite to imagine and to dream. - A Beautiful Mind

I met Steven October 3rd, 2008. We've been practically inseperable ever since. ♥
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