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satis Offline
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Question I dont know what's going on. - November 8th 2009, 09:03 PM

(I'm not sure if this should be in "mental health" or "Relationship addvice".)

I dont know what's going on.

Ever since my parents divorced about a year ago I havn't been myself. I've been snappy, moody, depressed and just over-all sad. During the first few months after the divorce of my parents my mood was really bad. With the support from my boyfriend, sister and friends my mood started to lift and I was feeling quite better for a while. But now, after a year of it I am still feeling symptoms. The past two months have been the worst. I almost always take my anger out on my boyfriend. I get angry at things I never got angry at before. I feel as if im continualy needy and snappy. My boyfriend's put up with it for a while now. But during the past few months he's slowly distanced himself from me. I dont know if it's on purpose. He's made a bunch of new friends and now most of his time goes into hanging out with them. I feel as if I only have one or two good friends so I never have anything to do when he's not around. We always fight and I hate it. I love him so much. I want to stop hurting him with my actions and words and I try to stop, but it's as if I just cant. I want to be happy with him again. But I have no idea where to start.

I feel like a bad person. I have so much anger in me. I feel like im waisting my life being sad. I dont know whats going to happen with me and my boyfriend. We almot broke up the other night becuase we're constantly fighting. I dont know what to do.

If anyone has any suggestions, i'd be very thankful to hear them.
   
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Re: I dont know what's going on. - November 9th 2009, 10:43 PM

This sounds like it's mostly stemming from your parents' divorce. But if you're still feeling this way after about a year, then there's got to be something else going on in addition to those feelings. Do you have a therapist? If you don't, you may want to get one just to have someone to talk to without worrying about being judged or damaging your relationship.
Write down these feelings in a journal and try yoga or some other calming exercise. Routine can also be very helpful, especially since these feelings sometimes come from everything being shaken up or turned around. Try and get yourself into a good routine every day.
   
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Re: I dont know what's going on. - November 10th 2009, 04:50 PM

Hey Satis, I agree with Cheyenne, this thing definitely grew from your parents' divorce. But the real culprit here is the sadness combined with anger you have. The anger you have is unreleased anger and you're subconsciously looking for a way to release it. So I agree with Cheyenne again, you need to look for happy stuff. And also you need to work through the anger, meaning you need to confront it head on. Talk to your parents and tell them that this really affected you and talk it over with them more, calmly I might add, spend time with them. Secondly talk to your boyfriend, go over and see a movie, a comedy movie( clean good comedy ) and have a good time. So that you can ease back into life and see the good things you have.
   
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