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Huge self-confidence problem - November 20th 2009, 10:24 PM

Lately I think I've come to the conclusion as to why I hate speaking to new people and being in many new social situations. I just feel like I'm not good enough for anyone. I have crap self-image and I think I give off a real bad vibe around people because of it.

Has anyone here ever gotten over problems like this? /: It seems almost impossible to get over.


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Re: Huge self-confidence problem - November 21st 2009, 07:24 PM

hey Ceilidh,
self image problem can really suck. i use to have som eserious problems with it. best thing i found was just ignore any flaws i had. u gotta relize that every1 has flaws that they try to hide just be happy with anything positive about urself anytime u pass a mirror or see ur reflection think of a couple good things about u anything u like about urself. physical emotional any feature u like list everything good and focus on that and after a while ull stop worrying about the bad


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Re: Huge self-confidence problem - November 22nd 2009, 08:09 PM

I don't have any advice to offer, because I am in the same situation.

I have self-confidence problems too. I am terribly shy and hate social situations. A lot. I want to talk to people, but I'm too scared to. I want people to talk to me too, but then if somebody does, I want them to just leave me alone. I also have a crappy self-image. I would like to hear what advice other people have to offer, because this is really taking over my life.
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Re: Huge self-confidence problem - November 22nd 2009, 09:04 PM

Hey Ceilidh

I'm proud of you for making a post, as it can sometimes be a very hard thing to do; admitting a problem. That is what this is. A problem. Like a maths problem, it can be fixed.

There are lots of things you can do to have a better self confidence. I think you have to be aware of your insecurities. That could be anything from acne to regrets. You should write it all down on a piece of paper, then burn it. Or shred it up!

You need to remember that other people are NOT better than you. Everybody is equal. We all make mistakes, and we all learn from them (most of the time!). You need to recognise your successes and build off them! You might get a good score in a test, have a good group of friends etc.

When people complement you, you need to accept them! Don't roll your eyes or make excuses up. Remember that people wouldn't complement you if it wasn't true.

I think that you should remember that you are who you are, nobody can change that. Sure, you aren't perfect. Nobody is. But you try, and you are a good person. That is what matters.



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Re: Huge self-confidence problem - November 23rd 2009, 02:46 AM

I've been in this situation for YEARS. I just got over it this year...well...kinda. I still have the problem, I just fake the self confidence. If you pretend that you're calm, confident, and easy to talk to, real confidence will come. I have a little more now and I'm trying to gain more. If this doesn't help, try to help people. This is what started me toward improving. If someone has a problem, offer to help. Not only will you be talking to someone and helping them, you will be connecting with someone else with a problem. You are not alone, helping each other out makes the world easier to bear
   
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Re: Huge self-confidence problem - November 23rd 2009, 08:06 PM

The sad thing is I honestly believe I have nothing good going for me /: Whenever I get somewhere I always end up messing it up. I don't think I'm a stupid person but I miss school/college loads due to medical reasons and I don't want to go as I have little friends there, I also hate trying to make friends due to this.

I also believe that people only give me compliments to make me feel better or to feel better about themselves (so then they believe they're good as they give "the ugly girl" compliments)


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Re: Huge self-confidence problem - November 23rd 2009, 08:12 PM

hey, well i also used to have a seriously low self esteem. it resulted me in isolating myself and later caused more problems. i think the best thing to do as 'l0stCause' said try to find things you like about yourself and build on that forget the negatives and focus on the positives. also if you only have a few friends then at least you have some. they'll be there to help and support you if you need them so don't push them out. the only way to get over this is to face up to your problem, thats how i dealt with it and now i have quite a good self image.

hope this helps


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Re: Huge self-confidence problem - November 23rd 2009, 08:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam View Post
There are lots of things you can do to have a better self confidence. I think you have to be aware of your insecurities. That could be anything from acne to regrets. You should write it all down on a piece of paper, then burn it. Or shred it up!
Okay, I just done that and I think I feel a little better already It was a mix of burning it (I had to stop as I was scared the smoke would make my mum freak out and think there was a fire outside lol) ripping it up and flushing the rest down the toilet.

As for the things I like about myself I'm thinking of maybe writing them down too and make myself read them everyday. The sad thing is all I can think of is I like my eye colour and think I'm a caring/loving person.


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Re: Huge self-confidence problem - November 23rd 2009, 10:30 PM

Just to throw in my two cents - as someone with a similar perspective, I found that over several years, I stopped caring about it quite so much. I still have no self-confidence and avoid talking to people when possible, but it doesn't bother me nearly as much as it used to; it's just kinda routine. Point is, even if all else fails and you can't solve your problem, you may eventually come to terms with it more, which is better than nothing.
   
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Re: Huge self-confidence problem - November 26th 2009, 07:38 PM

I'm happy that the list worked for you! Everybody is special, and you are too. I think there are lots more that is awesome about you than your eyes, but it is a start!

Do you care about people, are you a good friend? Are you funny? Kind? There are lots of both physical and personality features that make you who you are. Try and make a list, and add one point to it every day. Then after a few weeks, it will be full!



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