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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
RinRinStar Offline
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I think I have a problem.Anyone can help? - December 4th 2009, 07:24 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hi,so this is what have been going on:
A few years ago,I started having this..phobia of loud music.
I don't fear loud music when I'm in a recital or in a club(I don't go to clubs,I only went one time)or when I listen to music through my phone or through headphones(only sometimes if I think about the fear,I immediately shut down the phone or mp3),but I do fear it when I'm at my house,or any other friends' house.
My parents and brother fight with me a lot because of it.
My brother is a drummer,and my father has an internet radio.So sometimes both make a lot of noise.
Only thinking about it makes me fear it.I feel very stressed and like a crazy person I act very weird,and start to cry.
Also,I have this fear of long dresses.Long clothes that fly with the wind,and sometimes balls falling(in the air,when you play soccer or tennis,you know).
I have a fear of heights(Really serious problem.I start to cry,can't move,my legs shake like crazy and I feel like I can't breathe).
I have a fear of speed.That's why I hate roller coasters,and that's why I don't do some sports.
And another thing: I have a problem with anatomy.
I can faint if you just talk to me about it.And that's why I fear so much about getting pregnant.(Not now,I'm still young,but when I'll have my husband and I'll be older than I am now).
There are more fears,but these are the main.I don't know if you can call the last one a fear but...okay.
What can I do to stop at least the music problem?I feel very bad about it.
   
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Re: I think I have a problem.Anyone can help? - December 4th 2009, 08:18 AM

Firstly, I just want to assure you that many people out there are confronted by phobias, so don't feel insecure about yourself

You mention that you fear loud music and that the fear kicks in when you think about it. So.. maybe that's the problem. Maybe you're thinking about it too much. I know it's hard to stop thinking about things that scare you.. :/ But you could try doing various exercises/think up distractions so you're not always entirely focused on those fears? Sometimes, we fear things because they're there and we think we should.

Your best bet would be to see a therapist about this. They help with phobias and such. You could try explaining your fear to your Dad and brother. If something is troubling you this much, they can afford to be understanding. You guys could come up with a compromise.. like, they could keep the volume down to a minimum so you aren't too affected.

And as for your fear of falling balls and long dresses... could this be derived from a frightening past experience? Perhaps there are some eerie things you associate with these objects. I'm not sure if I'm making much sense.. but.. your best bet for the moment would be to avoid these things until you can find some help. After all, you don't want your fears to disrupt your life.

Just remember that everyone has fears. While some are greater than others, they are things almost everyone is confronted by at some point during their lives. You are not alone.

I'm here if you ever need to chat. Good luck! And I really hope this helps.


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Re: I think I have a problem.Anyone can help? - December 4th 2009, 10:47 AM

Hi,

It sounds to me like those fears could be having a big impact on your life, especially if you're avoiding some of the situations that contain some of these things that scare you so much, because it sounds like some of these things - I'm thinking particularly of the music here, but some of the other things as well - may be more likely to come up in social situations; for example, I'm wondering if you've perhaps not wanted to be at home because of the noise from your brother's drumming etc?

Jasper is right that we all have fears, and that it's completely normal to do so. Fear lets us know when a situation might be dangerous - it's potentially vital for our survival. However, with phobias such as the ones you're experiencing, fear has clearly become unhelpful. Unlike Jasper, though, I don't think you should actively avoid your fears - perhaps that sounds strange. But one thing I've noticed is that the more I avoid something I'm scared of, the more scared I become of it, so that by avoiding it I actually increase my fear. The other thing is that by very slowly acclimatising myself to it, I can gradually decrease my fear. I know that can seem impossible and because it sounds like you may be having panic attacks (although correct me if I'm wrong about that) I'd suggest it's something that may be best worked on with the help of a therapist. They will have seen other people with phobias of all kinds and can help you to work through them without judging you. They will also be able to support you in working through your fears at your own pace, and to help you learn skills for coping with the situations in which you might feel anxious or frightened.

If therapy is not an option for you at this point, I'd find the very smallest level at which you are uncomfortable, and start to work there. For example, with music, ask your father to keep the volume on his radio to a point where you are a little anxious but able to cope. Over time, if you can stick to this, hopefully your anxiety level should decrease and your father will be able to turn the radio up a bit more, and you can do the same again. If you don't feel able to do this, then a therapist might really be able to help.

By suggesting therapy, I'm not saying that I think you're crazy - I don't. I imagine that you have good reasons for finding these things scary, whether that's a thought or collection of thoughts you have about them or because of a previous experience. But I think most of us here can probably relate to having a fear that we just don't know how to handle, and it sounds like you're trying to deal with an awful lot of very strong fears/phobias. That's a hard thing to do! And a therapist can help you to do that.

Take care, and good luck.
   
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Re: I think I have a problem.Anyone can help? - December 4th 2009, 11:47 AM

Hey.. that makes sense. Awesome thinking, Lils


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Re: I think I have a problem.Anyone can help? - December 4th 2009, 12:04 PM

Aw, glad you weren't upset by what I said! I completely understand where you were coming from - I've done that myself and it seems like the best way forward (or did to me anyway!) but I've had to learn the hard way on that one!
   
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Re: I think I have a problem.Anyone can help? - December 4th 2009, 12:53 PM

Of course I wouldn't be upset. It was your opinion and you wanted to help


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Never forget, you are not alone. ♥
   
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