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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Anger and Sadness - December 5th 2009, 10:22 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hi Guys,

Not sure if this counts as triggering but put it up just to be safe.

I don't really know why I'm being like this at the moment. To begin with it was just an intense sadness, I just couldn't be happy, when I tried it just seemed so fake. Nothing seems to be going right at the moment, I hate uni, my parents are unwell and have difficulties with my boyfriend who is also my only friend.

It's as though every fibre of my being is screaming at me that this isn't right, that I just want out, out of it all I guess and I cry at the smallest thing, I have no control over it, especially if someone makes a criticism of me, even if it's a constructive one. I don't want to be here, don't want to go home, don't want to see family or anything and I feel awful for feeling those things.

The urge to SH is sometimes overwhelming, I'm trying to write now instead but it doesn't stop the feeling just pushes it down for a bit longer.

Recently the anger started, my tolerance for anyone has decreased to almost nothing, people wind me up almost instantly when they didn't before. I'm pretty sure they haven't all changed so it must be me! I use my pillow as a punchbag but still can't shake these feelings.

Feel so rattled and again, like everything is wrong and I want to disappear completely, for everything right now to go. But when I'm by myself negative (uni, home, job, sexuality, friends) thoughts just increase and get out of control.

These reasons don't seem to match up to the amount of negativity I'm feeling, but rationalising this doesn't ease it. Even if something fantastic happens it only takes minutes before I'm back to being this negative ball of ridiculousness.

Sorry for the long post. Do you guys know of anything I can do to stop feeling like this? I'd quite like to be a 'normal student' and just enjoy life, I feel as though I'm ruining my only shot at it by being unable to escape these feelings.

Thanks for your help
   
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Re: Anger and Sadness - December 5th 2009, 11:19 PM

Hi There,

Sounds like your going through a rough time, between your parents and your boyfriend, it seems like things are hard for you.

Have you ever talked to your doctor about any of this? Some of the things you have said, sort of lead to the possibility of depression. I can't however say for fact what you do have, which is why your doctor is the best resource.

Also, maybe you could talk to a therapist, or maybe go to some anger management classes. They could also help.

PM me if you need anything.
Brittany



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Re: Anger and Sadness - December 7th 2009, 06:15 PM

Sounds like just a rough time. Take control of your thoughts and just focus on the good stuff. It also looks like just being bored and quiet. So give it sometime and see where it goes.
   
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Re: Anger and Sadness - December 19th 2009, 07:21 PM

Thanks for your thoughts guys, sorry I only just checked back now. I don't think it's boredom to be honest as I don't really have time for that with my course. I'm back at home now which is difficult, I'm just so tetchy, angry and sad at the same time. There is no real good reason for this.

I did try a therapist but it didn't work out unfortunately. I've never considered anger management classes so thanks for that tip

As for the doctor, i'd be dead scared going, what if I'm just blowing this up all out of proportion or over-reacting and he'd laugh at me for being so paranoid/a hyperchrondric (sp)
All right, I realise that he wouldn't laugh perse as he's a professional but I guess I'm worried about what he thought.
Is it really worth going? Is there anything I can do by myself without going that far?
   
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Re: Anger and Sadness - December 20th 2009, 02:05 AM

Yes see the doctor. Dont worry about what he thinks, he is there to help.
   
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