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DeeAnn_Angela Offline
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Scared - December 8th 2009, 12:53 AM

So, ever since I was little, I've had times when I don't feel...right. I've never been able to explain it. I sort of...space out, become totally unaware of anything. No thought, nothing. But that's not what scares me the most...once I come out of it, I still don't feel like anything's real. Like, I'm aware and I know things, but it feels...I really can't explain it. It's like nothing exists.

When I was little and I told my mom, she said it was deja vu...which I know now it's not at all. Plus, it used to only be for little whiles but lately...I've felt like this almost non-stop for, I dunno, two weeks? More? I really don't know. ANd it's scaring me...

What's more is that...I've noticed that whle I feel like this, things don't bother me really. I'm numb. A couple times I've thought about trying to "go into" it to escape pain or something....that can't be healthy, can it? I've told myself not to, but it can be really tempting sometimes...i mean, it's scary, but at the same time really tempting....

Is this normal? Does anyone know what I mean? Like I said, I can't really explain it well, but I think someone would get it if it happens to them, if that makessense. It's really impossible to put into words...
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Re: Scared - December 8th 2009, 01:33 AM

I feel like that every now and then; just completely uncaring about what happens..

It can be very scary at times, but just focus on getting out of it if thats what you want. Don't let yourself need that feeling and there shouldn't be a problem with it. We all need to slip from reality sometimes, but we can't belong to that little slip, or else we will just end up falling.

My best way to describe it is probably...

You simply just stop caring about things. (For me) Just walking across a street; not caring to look both ways to check for cars, not caring about people..etc. I snap out of it when I think of important people in my life, people that I love. It gives me an instant snap back to reality, maybe you should try it.
   
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Re: Scared - December 8th 2009, 01:42 AM

That's kinda it...only, it's not that I don't care, It just honestly, literally, not figurativly feels like nothing is real. I mean, I KNOW that things are real, but it doesn't seem like they are...

thanks for the help. though
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Re: Scared - December 8th 2009, 03:12 AM

I sort of experience a similar thing...This will sound crazy, but every now and then I feel like I kind of leave my body, and I'm just an empty shell. I can't feel any emotion or anything, just emptyness, like i'm there, but I'm not really there. haha I know that doesn't make sence...like you said, it's impossible to describe! Usually I snap out of it after a while, because I start to get really sad, cry for a bit, and then I'm back. It's very odd. It started after I went through a pretty hard time, and had such a hard time coping that I sort of made myself stop feeling anything. I've lived like that for a while, but whenever I think about the fact that I'm hiding myself, and that I don't really know who I am anymore, the weird feeling starts. It's kind of like the shield I built around myself vanishes, and I'm completley empty, because I don't know who I am, or if I even exist. Ok, now I officially sound like a crazy person! Do you know if you went through a hard time as a child that could have prompted your experiences? I know it's hard, but I think you should definitely keep trying to not give into it, no matter how tempting it might be! As soon as you get the urge to do it, or if you feel it start to happen, ring a friend, or start talking to someone about anything to distract yourself. Good luck
   
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Re: Scared - December 10th 2009, 02:14 AM

Sorry if I wasn't clear, but I've never actually tried to do it...I've just been temped to. For instance, if I start thinking about certain stuff normally I immediatly get sad or even feel like crying, you know? But when I'm whatever, and I start thinking about it, it doens't matter because it's not REAL. Nothing exists, so how can I get upset?

As for when I feel myself going "into it"...I don't. I just sort of space out and then all of a sudden..nothing. And no matter how many times I try and do stuff to snap out of it (I've tried everything from just telling myself I'm real to exercising, praying...I've even pinched and snapped and scratched myself untill I bled or left scars/bruises, because I figured, you know, If i could fource myself to feel something It might snap me out of it, even if it was pain, you know?) it's useless. It's like trying to tell yourself that the sky if pink or something...you might be able to convience your mind if you're lucky, but you still KNOW and FEEL that it's blue...

...now i'm the one that sounds like a crazy person
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Re: Scared - December 10th 2009, 03:45 AM

I feel numb to life a lot. When I feel that way I just don't care about anything at all. zombie like?
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Re: Scared - December 10th 2009, 03:50 AM

I guess, yeah...I mean, how can you care about something that you feel like doesn't exisits? I mean, it would be like caring about unicorns or something
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