TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
sunken Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
sunken's Avatar
 
Name: anthony
Gender: Male
Location: england

Posts: 39
Join Date: December 1st 2009

hard for me to leave the house without a weapon - December 20th 2009, 10:45 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

if im out,which is very rare these days,i only feel comfortable if im carrying a knife,or even like a shard of glass or something sharp/heavy.i threatend a group of men with a big kitchen knife before which is how my therapy started,but i ended that so i have no one but i dont want anyone either.also if i have a paranoia attack it helps knowing ive got something sharp so i can squeeze it in my palm to calm down.

ive finally accepted the fact that i am hearing voices,they urge me to do real violent things and it gets me so frustrated,its like an inner battle with two parts of my mind.

im getting urges to kill and cut up my face,which is what the voices tell me.i sound like a nutter. maybe i should just kill myself. i have like totally given up so im really just waiting for something to trigger me so i can kick off and do something stupid and be locked away becouse there is no way im gonna get a job now.

what is so fucking frustrating is that i need to remake my face,by slashing it up,i know this will make me a new person but i cant do it becouse i live with my family.

i rambled again,just needed to vent out
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Crescendo Offline
Walking The Line
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Crescendo's Avatar
 
Name: ...
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: ...

Posts: 337
Blog Entries: 82
Join Date: December 17th 2009

Re: hard for me to leave the house without a weapon - December 21st 2009, 08:07 PM

Hi Sunken,
What you're dealing with must be incredibly scary. There are medications and other treatments that can help you, but you must seek help right away because this type of hallucinating/paranoia sometimes can lead to people becoming overwhelmed and acting violently to try to make the voices/etc stop or because they feel they are in danger when they are not. You are not crazy, and you don't need to kill yourself or hurt someone else. With treatment things can get better, but this type of issue is very serious and you shouldn't try to handle it on you own. Please seek medical attention right away and be honest with what the voices are telling you and how you're feeling. The doctors will take good care of you and want to help you. Please go and get help right now.
Best wishes.
Megan



When the patient's body has betrayed them,
and all the sciencewe have to offer has failed them,
when worst-case scenario comes true,
clinging to hope is all we've got left.
-grey's.anatomy-
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
sunken Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
sunken's Avatar
 
Name: anthony
Gender: Male
Location: england

Posts: 39
Join Date: December 1st 2009

Re: hard for me to leave the house without a weapon - December 22nd 2009, 10:54 PM

thanks for the reply,i am on medication, fluxotene and seroquel,but i havent been taking it.so i guess it is all my fault.i just cant see the point,i want my life to end.i am sick of everything around me.

the most hurtfull thing is that all this happend becouse i came out as bisexual where i lived before i moved out.i was happy,i could drink myself to sleep in my room,i was free with no one to annoy me. but i kind of had to move becouse everyone was taking the piss out of me behind my back.i could of still been there,i had a job and money.now im stuck with no where to go but death or being locked away.

and the girl i was seeing at the time totally freaked when i told her im bi,that hurt so much.i thought she wouldnt mind.shes the one who told everyone i think.

and i fucking hate christmas.i hate people buying me things it makes me so incomfortable.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Crescendo Offline
Walking The Line
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Crescendo's Avatar
 
Name: ...
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: ...

Posts: 337
Blog Entries: 82
Join Date: December 17th 2009

Re: hard for me to leave the house without a weapon - December 22nd 2009, 11:13 PM

Hello Again,
I'm sorry you had a bad experience coming out. I was pretty supported when I came out, and it must feel so horrible for people to not accept you for who you are.

I'm not a big fan of the holidays either- everyone seems to gosh darn happy, and it just like they are rubbing my depression in my face.

As you probably know- stopping psychiatric medications suddenly is EXTREMELY dangerous and can heighten feelings of suicidality/homocidality/pyschosis. And I would like to urge you again to seek immediate medical attention, especially if you are having strong urges to kill yourself or someone else. The holidays won't last forever, and in time you may be able to find people who accept you for who you are.(its a wonderful feeling and worth sticking around for!) You must be so scared and sad, but you don't have to go through this alone, and you don't have to feel this way. Seeing a doctor who can help you get back on medication and therapy can make a major differnce. Your life is valuable. Please get help.

Megan



When the patient's body has betrayed them,
and all the sciencewe have to offer has failed them,
when worst-case scenario comes true,
clinging to hope is all we've got left.
-grey's.anatomy-
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
sunken Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
sunken's Avatar
 
Name: anthony
Gender: Male
Location: england

Posts: 39
Join Date: December 1st 2009

Re: hard for me to leave the house without a weapon - December 23rd 2009, 12:50 PM

thank you,i think that is my only option i guess,goin to docs even tho i hate them
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Voldermorts Stalker
I can't get enough
*********
 
WhisperingSilence's Avatar
 
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: where ever the coffee is

Posts: 3,469
Blog Entries: 1477
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: hard for me to leave the house without a weapon - December 24th 2009, 08:04 PM

i went threew a phase where i would not leave the house without having a sharp object on me, for me it was more a saftey thing, knowing it was there in case i needed it to defend myself. but the thing that made me leave them at home was that i knew if the police caught me i would have a criminal record and would loose my job.
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
l0stCause Offline
chaos walks
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
l0stCause's Avatar
 
Age: 28

Posts: 277
Join Date: November 17th 2009

Re: hard for me to leave the house without a weapon - December 25th 2009, 02:42 AM

i feel naked without my knife. ive carried the same one since i was 13 and i still keep it sharp enough to shave with. id suggest talking to sum1 about the voices deal but wanting to have a small weapon doesnt seem crazy at all.


“Chaos is the score upon which reality is written.”
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
sunken Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
sunken's Avatar
 
Name: anthony
Gender: Male
Location: england

Posts: 39
Join Date: December 1st 2009

Re: hard for me to leave the house without a weapon - December 26th 2009, 01:00 PM

exactly how i feel,naked without a weapon on me.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Hominis Offline
Life and death in every step.
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Hominis's Avatar
 
Name: Jeremy [Ghost]
Gender: Male
Location: New York.

Posts: 34
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: December 11th 2009

Re: hard for me to leave the house without a weapon - December 26th 2009, 01:22 PM

I've skimmed all the posts in this thread, and honestly, this is what comes to my mind. I think that a weapon you carry symbolizes power to you, in a sense. Power over an enemy that will help you win in a fight. But, you do realize that even with a knife, things can be turned around? That power, symbolically speaking, can be turned against you. Perhaps it's my years of martial arts training that make me think the way I do, but a fight can always go both ways. It's not about winning or losing a fight, it's about getting out of it alive. In my opinion, a weapon in a fight is just another thing to worry about, it's just another gamble with death.

As for the voices you're hearing, I won't go as far as to diagnose you with anything, but you should go to a therapist and see what the probability is that you may have a mood disorder. Voices in one's head sometimes are symptomatic of a mood disorder, which is why I suggest you see if you have one.

Just throwing my two cents in there, if you need anything, feel free to send me a PM or VM. Links to do so are in my signature. I wish you the best of luck.

-Jer.


.never tickle a sleeping dragon.
  Send a message via AIM to Hominis Send a message via MSN to Hominis Send a message via Skype™ to Hominis 
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
sunken Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
sunken's Avatar
 
Name: anthony
Gender: Male
Location: england

Posts: 39
Join Date: December 1st 2009

Re: hard for me to leave the house without a weapon - December 28th 2009, 02:00 PM

thanks. yes i do know that it could be used against me,but its just the feel of it in my pocket and knowing its there that makes me feel better
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
hard, house, leave, weapon

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.