Triggering (SH): Freaking Out

[KoKoEm]

So, I've started to freak out, literally every night after I go to bed. After I'm in bed, I'll be calm for about ten to fifteen minutes, however, I start waking up instead of getting more tired. After the ten to fifteen minutes, I start freaking out. That's pretty much the majority of what I know is happening. I don't remember anything else about it. I know that most of the nights I will feel like cutting worse than I've ever felt like it. It's more to the point it's not exactly cutting but stabbing. I still haven't gotten up to do anything while I'm freaking out but I've been close to it.
Last night was the worst, because I remember as much as I ever remember. I have no idea what I was freaking out about but I knew I wanted to cut/stab myself. But I also remember that I ended up crying so much I couldn't breathe. Before I had started crying, I texted my friend these words exactly "Okay i'm literally freaking out. Please sometime text me i need someone to talk to and honestly don't know if i want people to know how badly i'm freaking out pretty much every night. I don't know if I trust telling people it." All of that is 100% true and he was asleep by the time I had texted him and replied when he woke up about 12 hours later. All I told him about it this morning was similar to what I had said last night except for adding in the fact that it was scary as could be. He asked me if I wanted to talk about it and I told him not at the time and he said for me to let him know when I wanted to talk about it, which I might text him later about it.
I also figured out that I can send totally reasonable texts while I'm freaking out. I knew that last night I had gone to bed texting one of the foreign exchange students who is going back to Germany in a few days, but when I looked at the texts, they all sounded like normal. However, that was before I started freaking out really badly, so that could've had something to do with it. =\
I don't know what to do. I'm tired of this and need it to stop before my reasonable side is totally gone, which won't be too long if this continues.

[fullofsecrets]

You need to talk to someone about why you are having these episodes. It is possible (and I'm no medical expert) that these fits could be some type of seizure. I'm not trying to scare you but you definitely need to seek help for this right away. Please tell your parents or a counselor or your favorite teacher or someone you trust about what is going on. Another thing you might want to try is have a sleepover and let your friend stay in the room so they can maybe help you out of your "fit." Definitely seek help for this; I'll be praying for you.

[KoKoEm]

Thanks Kristin.
I know that sometime I'm going to end up sleeping over at his house because my friends are planning on having a sleepover sometime over break. I just don't know when that'll be because we can't do it the next few nights and I know the one I've been mentioning is taking his girlfriend to Chicago at sometime over break. The last time I spent the night at his house (Friday night) I didn't freak out. I don't know why or anything. =\

[fullofsecrets]

You should really talk to someone about it soon. It may be more of a medical problem than anything.

[KoKoEm]

It would kind of make some sense being a more medical (not mental, per say) problem because I've been having other problems that could relate to it. I've been close to blacking out many times just in the middle of walking and now get dizzier quicker. I'm talking with my friend now, except for he's with his girlfriend so I'm going to talk with him more when he gets home.

[fullofsecrets]

That definitely sounds like a medical problem then. I would recommend going to your doctor, who would most likely give you an MRI. I know it sounds a little scary but I definitely think that you do not have a mental problem.