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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
TheBabyEater Offline
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Not 100% sure where to put this but... - December 30th 2009, 01:12 AM

I'm really torn where to put this. Either relationships since it's about my boyfriend, depression/suicide since I'm worried he'll kill himself, death/grieving since it's about his friend dying, or here since it's about his mental health... I just kind of chose at random, movie it if needbe.

See, my boyfriend has a friend who has cancer. He says she has about 6 to 8 months left to live. I've dealt with death before, a lot of death. One being through cancer so I know what it's like. Problem is, I'm scared I won't be able to help him through this.

He's also dealt with a lot of death of friends and stuff. The part that worries me the most... is that he has schizophrenia. When it gets bad, he hears voices and sees his friends or people he knew who have died. They ask him to 'join him' in 'eternal darkness' if you get what I mean... He's been known to black out when he's angry and do things he can't remember later. The scariest being threatening to burn down his apartment and then killing himself. He wasn't himself, and he isn't when he blacks out like that. Scares the shit out of me...

He has gotten help. He went into the hospital for a week or so for evaluation, then went into IOP for awhile but that's done with now. Now he's on medication for the schizophrenia and depression he deals with.

I'm worried this will make things worse. I already feel him starting to slip, I feel him starting to lose hope in his friend and the world, and worst of all himself. I don't even know this friend, but I'm so scared for her. I can't let him know this, I have to be strong for him. But I'm so scared he will snap if she dies, or even gets close to dying, or even stays the same way as she is now!

I know what I need to do, if I see things getting bad I'm calling his dad and telling him that he is starting to slip and to keep an eye on him. (I'm about 3 to 4 hours away) I know I need to stay with him and stay by his side and try to keep him happy and distracted from this but... I'm so worried she'll die, and I'm so worried he'll snap.

Sorry.. I really needed to rant. I really need to stay strong for him right now.



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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Crescendo Offline
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Re: Not 100% sure where to put this but... - December 30th 2009, 09:00 PM

Hello My favorite eater of babies!

It sure sounds like you are dealing with a lot of stress, and dealing with it rather well.
I think you may want to contact his Dad now rather than later though. If you feel he's slipping a bit, and you are anticipating increased stress on him, why not make sure he has pleanty of support in place as soon as possible? Perhaps if he has enough support and help managing his stress, it will deter or lessen the severity of a psychotic episode if he has one. As I'm sure you know, sometimes all the help and preventative measures in the world can't prevent a psychotic episode. Some times the illness rear's its ugly head no matter what is happening on the outside environment, and that doesn't mean you did anything wrong, or that you didn't do everything you possibly could.

remember to take care of yourself. get support for you if your feeling stressed, take care of yourself physically, etc. You can't help him stay afloat if you are barely keeping your head above water.


Megan



When the patient's body has betrayed them,
and all the sciencewe have to offer has failed them,
when worst-case scenario comes true,
clinging to hope is all we've got left.
-grey's.anatomy-
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
TheBabyEater Offline
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Re: Not 100% sure where to put this but... - December 30th 2009, 09:17 PM

=] First of all, thanks for telling me you responded.

I'll be visiting them a bit this weekend. I plan on kind of.. seeing if I can talk to his dad in person because I'm not sure his dad knows yet. I'd rather tell him in person if I'm there anyway than texting him or calling him when he might be busy at work or something.

Sometimes I feel like when he slips or breaks down or something it's my fault for not being able to help him well enough. Even though I know that sometimes it will just.. happen. But at least someone clarified that it's not always my fault. ^^


Sometimes I feel like he's hiding this though. Like right now, he's not really responding and when he does it's just... I don't know, empty texts and everything. He's not himself which worries me, so now that I think about it, I might call his dad after work hours or something. Unless it gets bad, then I'll just call him. I've had him rush home from work before after all...



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