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Anatica Offline
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Join Date: November 22nd 2009

I slipping away - January 16th 2010, 06:42 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm spinning in a downward circle. I can feel it all coming back to me. It's like a warm blanket that I can curl up under and fall asleep... but I forgot to mention: the blanket's on fire.

The loneliness, worthlessness, helplessness, sleeplessness. The ill intellect, skin slashing, tangled thoughts, distorted desire.

I've been here before... many years ago... but this surreal place still feels like home... it's like coming back home after a weekend vacation... everything is new again but nothing has changed.

It's exhilarating; taking the fist leap into the abyss of a rufous pool.
It's hypnotic; the state of mind I slip into, out of, and back into again as the days go on.
It's disconcerting; laughing like a mad hatter inside when I want to cry in sadness and scream in anger.
It's non compos mentis; I want to pure as a newborn but I don't want to leave this crib.

It's dark; will some one lend me their flashlight?
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Through-Glass Offline
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Re: I slipping away - January 19th 2010, 07:18 AM

Hey there,

Is there anyone you can talk to about what you are going through? It can be scary, but if you are in this much pain, it will be worth it. You deserve to have help with this, you do not have to do this alone.

Take care. If you'd ever like to talk, feel free to PM me.

"For the first time
in a long time,
I can say that I wanna try.
I feel helpless for the most part,
but I'm learning to open my eyes.
And the sad truth of the matter is,
I'll never get over it,
but I'm gonna try
to get better and overcome each moment
in my own way"

Motion City Soundtrack, "Even If It Kills Me"
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cutting, depression, hopeless, hopelessness, lost, relapse, self harm, self injury, slipping

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