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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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DanielR Offline
Survived the Apocalypse of '57
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Name: Daniel
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Location: Australia

Posts: 332
Join Date: February 12th 2010

Self Conciousness affecting me - February 17th 2010, 10:16 PM

I'm not sure if this really falls under 'mental health'... but from my perspective, it affects my state of mind... and so it's a mental issue.

For most of my life I've dealt with peer pressure, constant judging by people, and for most of my high school years I was trying to fit in with the 'popular' group. This is pretty much what everyone goes through I guess, and others get over it... some stay affected for years to come.

Since high school, I've stopped making many friends, I've lost confidence in myself... and this has affected my relationships and career choices. Considering the career choice I've made (Film making), my mental state will really jepardise this.

My confidence I believe, stems from my self conciousness. I'm overly self concious about everything. How I dress, my hygiene, my hobbys... hell, everything! I hate this, because I can't talk to the women that peak my interest... and I can't even flirt for fun.
Of course, my biggest worry is that it will affect my relationships more and more, and I really worry that I'll end up spending my life alone if I keep it up. The only time I really feel confident around people, is if I know them well (such as my mother, or a few friends) or, if I'm at a club... I'll only talk and flirt if I'm drunk. My confidence in this case, comes in the form of a Vodka Screwdriver (or ten).

Not only this, but being a withdrawn person... I believe that my career will suffer because I'm afraid to express my wants and needs (such as what I like and don't like about a particular part of a film, etc)... and I'm afraid that someone will judge me for what I do.

There are days when I'm really confidant, the days I wake up and say 'Fuck it, I'm gonna let my hair down and hand my balls over to god...' and those are my good days. These are the days I strike up conversations with Checkout girls at the supermarket, I go for job interviews, and I confidently ask for help when I definately need it. These days, are few and far between... and what I really want, is these days EVERYDAY. I mean, women (and employers) desire confindent men, people who aren't afraid to express themselves...

What I guess my question is; Is this part of growing up, or do I have a serious problem? And... is there any way to combat it?

I appreciate all help and advice

EDIT: I forgot to mention that I'm extremely paranoid. If I walk past a group of people around my age, and they start laughing... I feel they're laughing at me. This happens A LOT and it affects my self esteem.

I don't like to whizz in people's pockets, so I will always give you truth. I'm opinionated, so take what I say with a cup of salt.

Last edited by DanielR; February 17th 2010 at 10:34 PM.
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affecting, conciousness

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