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Question Complete lack of emotions lately. Input needed. - March 10th 2010, 06:21 AM

Hello, this is the first post I've made.
I think I'm turning into a sociopath.
I have little to no emotions anymore, and whatever emotion I do have is either anxiety, depression, or anger.
I am not happy, I do not get excited.
I can't cry anymore, and the thing is I love it.
I have had problems with emotions and mental health for a few years now, and I have to say that after all the anger, anxiety, sadness, and negative emotions I've dealt with, I welcome having no emotion, or conscience for that matter.
I am aware that most sociopaths become serial killers, so I don't think sociopath would be quite the right term for it...
But I have no emotion. I am hostile to those close to me, and so on.

Thoughts, please?
   
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Re: Complete lack of emotions lately. Input needed. - March 10th 2010, 06:50 PM

Sounds like Major Depressive Disorder to me. I mean, sometimes when people are very depressed, they can't cry, and go almost numb.

Perhaps this is something to talk to your doctor about, but I highly doubt it's anything close to being a sociopath. Just because what you're saying doesn't sound symptomatic of a sociopath, at least, not to me, but I'm not an expert.

My friend, however, dated this girl he was 99% sure was a sociopath, and it's rather tricky to explain. And I know he'd probably tell you the same thing I did, that it sounds like Major Depression.
   
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Re: Complete lack of emotions lately. Input needed. - March 10th 2010, 07:05 PM

Before I address what I think is going on, I'm going to clarify sociopathy. It's a nonsense term because it describes a wide array of disorders from psychopathy, anti-social personality disorder and dissocial personality disorder. Not showing emotions in no way constitutes any of those as there is much, much more. So don't delude yourself into thinking you're something when from what you've said, you're clearly not.

Regarding serial killers, they're a whole other issue altogether and these are people who tend to have problems from very early on in childhood. The same goes for psychopathy, anti-social and dissocial personality disorders, all of which constitute sociopathy. You cannot turn into one in a short amount of time. You can act like one but even then, you're still not one so don't continue this delusion.

I'm thinking it's probably along the lines of major depression also because many people who have it will tell you they feel nothing and they can be quite hostile to others while depressed. The fact that you mention this is relatively recent to me suggests it's not a personality disorder and so it's more likely to be a mood disorder, most likely major depression. Get it checked out by a psychiatrist and don't feed the delusion you're a sociopath. I'm sure once you take the proper medications and even the proper psychotherapy, your delusion will have ceased.
   
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Re: Complete lack of emotions lately. Input needed. - March 10th 2010, 08:05 PM

Thanks for your input, guys. I figured it was most likely depression, I've been diagnosed with GAD and Panic Disorder and depression, but for some reason this just felt different. Maybe the depression is just getting more severe.
I was put on Prozac, then I took myself off because I tried stupid things with it. Then I was put on Xanax and Paxil, and the Xanax helped, but I could only be on it for two weeks, and people close to me don't want me on it.
My parents don't want me going on any medication, neither does my boyfriend...but the psychiatrists and counceller's in my area are so ignorant, and just plain stupid.
P.S
I never took being a sociopath as a serious option, I know I'm not, but I don't for some reason at the time it seemed like a possibility because out of the mental disorders I've read about, it was the one I remember saying you feel nothing.
   
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Re: Complete lack of emotions lately. Input needed. - March 10th 2010, 09:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MissFit View Post
P.S
I never took being a sociopath as a serious option, I know I'm not, but I don't for some reason at the time it seemed like a possibility because out of the mental disorders I've read about, it was the one I remember saying you feel nothing.
Well as was said, there is much more to being a sociopath than just a lack of emotion. Like, you obviously feel something to feel angry and depressed, for starters.
Perhaps if medications don't seem to work, try more regular councelling/therapy, to try and cope without meds. Some people feel a need for them, others don't.
   
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Re: Complete lack of emotions lately. Input needed. - March 10th 2010, 11:07 PM

I've tried explaining to my parents I want to go to councelling and therapy, but when the date comes around where I am supposed to go, they say I don't need it anyways. Either that or they don't let it get that far and won't make an appointment.

I've tried to explain to them I need it, but I think they are in denial.
   
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Re: Complete lack of emotions lately. Input needed. - March 11th 2010, 03:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MissFit View Post
I've tried explaining to my parents I want to go to councelling and therapy, but when the date comes around where I am supposed to go, they say I don't need it anyways. Either that or they don't let it get that far and won't make an appointment.

I've tried to explain to them I need it, but I think they are in denial.
Many parents to try to deny it because of the stigma of being mentally ill, they want their child to be as healthy as possible but unfortunately, many don't want to face the reality their child may be ill. They want their child to be healthy so much that when it comes to a time when the child is unhealthy, sometimes they look the other way.

If this is the case, then I suggest going to teachers or school counsellors whom you trust because they may be able to help. Granted, they cannot provide you with medications but they certainly can help you by amateur psychotherapy and it's been shown, especially for depression, psychotherapy (i.e. "talk therapy") is almost if not as effective as medications alone. So I'd say try them but also keep in mind, major depression is the most common mental illness and I'm sure there are many instances where someone seems to have it but actually doesn't meet the criteria so you may be faced with some skepticism at first.
   
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Re: Complete lack of emotions lately. Input needed. - March 11th 2010, 05:12 AM

Yeah, that's probably it...I'll have to talk to them more about it or something.
I'm graduated though, so the teacher thing wouldn't help.
But thanks for the help =)


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Re: Complete lack of emotions lately. Input needed. - March 12th 2010, 01:52 AM

fuk u made me worried. I feel exactly that way. My mum can have a histerical fitrage and throw the kettle out through a closed window in the middle of it and I'll just sit there and scratch my ass ass or something not even paying attention. I guess its an immunity u develop against that sort of shit.

Im pretty sure as long as ur aware of it... u can do something about it. Thats half the key to the problem. I cant tell u much on how to deal with it... cos im having problems on my end also.

Reasonably sure that u can't say u dont feel any emotions if u feel anger.... i mean anger is better than nothing. There was a point for me when i didnt even feel anger. Seriously I felt 0 for everything around me, so I dont think things are as bad for u as u might think they are.
   
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Re: Complete lack of emotions lately. Input needed. - March 12th 2010, 05:24 AM

That's like me. And it's not really "anger" I feel, I just feel hostile...like, I feel really uncomfortable around my parents...maybe it's because their alcoholics and that's caused a lot of shit for me when they are drunk. I don't know if anger was a good word to describe it, I just feel really out of touch with them, very uncomfortable...I don't talk to them...
And I know! agh, it's like someone could walk up to you, scream in your face the most insulting thing ever, and you just sit there and not give a crap. That's happened a few times, and other stuff has happened where a normal, emotional reaction would be expected from most people, and it just went right passed me.
I like what you said about the immunity thing though, it makes sense...I guess once you feel like crap for a while, it just becomes sort of second nature and normal, and you just get numb...


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I live for those moments.
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Re: Complete lack of emotions lately. Input needed. - March 12th 2010, 05:28 AM

It's really hard to explain. Sometimes I will just get sudden outbursts of severe rage, and then like a minute later I'll feel nothing. I don't get it. But lately, the outbursts have been more and more seldom, and I will just sit there, feeling nothing.
And I get so unresponsive to other people's emotions to at times. I don't understand.


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I live for those moments.
Is that pathetic or brave?"

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Re: Complete lack of emotions lately. Input needed. - March 12th 2010, 11:30 AM

Ye I dont fully know how it works myself, but Im coming out of it. Hostile's probably a better word also.... cos anger is a deep feeling, hostility I'd say is more shallow. There'd be times when I just knew something was fking wrong with me... I still remember when I went into a corner shop once and this guy was stocking up shelves with his back to me and didnt hear or see me asking him to let me pass.... and I just felt like kicking him out the way in a temper. The more fked up thing in that was that me and him were reasonably friendly cos we see each other almost every day in that shop (I didnt boot him out the way lol, instead my spine spazzed a bit and that was it, i sort of restrained myself)

All this seems to be passing for now... but I think it's just part of my character. I try to control it. Things aren't so bad, at the moment. If I were u though I wouldn't rely on it just going away. Counsellors can sometimes do a good job of sorting something like that out, or if you have a really good friend that would help also. But u wanna be carefull with friends. Some people dont know how to handle even the smallest of problems, freak out, and move away from you. Its not that they might not like you, they just dont feel comfortable or feel stupid maybe for not having anything constructive to say. Thats why counsellors are probably better... cos they are actually trained to deal with those sort of issues and get more than enough practice at it.
   
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Re: Complete lack of emotions lately. Input needed. - March 12th 2010, 01:50 PM

Ughh I get weird inexplicable spurts of impatience and crap like that too. It happens a lot with my parents, for some reason they annoy me so much. I never talk to them, and I feel bad that I am shutting them out like this, but I can't help it. I feel weird and uncomfortable talking to them about serious stuff, or anything really...and yeah, I have a few friends that help, but sometimes they don't know what to say, which is understandable. I try not to talk to them about it so much anymore, because they have their own problems and I don't want to be an inconvenience by pushing mine on them.
And that's good things are getting better for you, that gives me some sort of hope that I won't be like this forever. And yeah, I've ignored it before and that ended up making it worse. It's weird how an aspect of yourself can be your biggest struggle when it comes to going places in life, usually it's outside influences...


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I live for those moments.
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Re: Complete lack of emotions lately. Input needed. - March 14th 2010, 01:11 AM

When I think of it I think its just being fedup with everything around urself. What exactly it is is different for every person. If that's what it is u could try just doing something completely different... to get away from the stuff around u. Thats more less what holidays are for... but even holidays dont work much for me anymore cos I go the same dam place every time. Its about doing something different I think.

Ye... and that takes effort and at least some motivation which that can be hard to find when u feel this way.

   
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Re: Complete lack of emotions lately. Input needed. - March 14th 2010, 10:36 PM

Yeah, that's a good idea. I basically do the same thing everyday. I think one of the reason's I am so depressed is cause I am getting no where in life and I feel like I'm in a rut. I don't do anything in my day, and jobs where I live are scarce when you live in a horrible small town. I have no real structure in my life, so I think that's definatly not helping the depression.
And exactly it's so easy to want to change things, but when you feel like crap and lack motivation and determination, it's hard to even start changing your life cause you wonder if it's even worth it. I lack motivation completely, cause I just don't care about anything anymore.


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I live for those moments.
Is that pathetic or brave?"

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Re: Complete lack of emotions lately. Input needed. - March 14th 2010, 10:43 PM

sometimes, when ppl loose emotions, well the "good ones" it can be a self defenzxe mechanism/ well with me it can be. try doing different things, talk to new people. it helps. but try doing things that make you happy. though being hostile as you said to people is a bit of a problem they should understand, though they might not. apologise though, they forgive you, because they love you


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Re: Complete lack of emotions lately. Input needed. - March 14th 2010, 10:56 PM

Yeah, that makes sense...a lot actually. I used to have Panic Disorder and GAD really bad, both diagnosed, and I guess after a while maybe I just got tired of the anxiety. It used to be really strong, and happened everyday. I guess there are tons of explanations as to why people feel numb, or don't feel at all at times. I don't like feeling to be honest. I hate emotions. I feel too much and I always get completely powerless against them.


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exactly how lonely I am.
I live for those moments.
Is that pathetic or brave?"

---


   
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