what is going on?

[emoticon]

i hate everyone. I think your all going to lie to me. i think that after i talk to someone that they are gonna go behind my back and spread rumors about me. i can't trust anyone anymore. i'm even scared to write this. i'm so paranoid. and it comes and goes. there are times when i think straight and i'm a normal happy person. but there are times when i think that i cant trust anyone. that everyone is out to get me. and it's getting worse. theres a battle going on in my mind and it won't stop. so i just end up crying because i'm so confused. and then i end up cutting myself to make it stop. but that only helps sometimes and only briefly. even the slightest thing insults me to no end. my friend just recently was disnosed with bipolar depression. and instead of being the good friend that i know i should be and help her and be her with. i want nothing to do with her. it's like she useless to me now. i have mood swings. where i will be really happy and giggly for no reason and then i'll be utterly depressed and cant stop crying. i just want it end. i just want to go to sleep and never wake up. how can i make it stop? gah one more thing after reading this again my mind refused to believe that these are my own words. someone help me. make it stop.

[Thirteen]

Well have you considered getting a psychiatric analysis and diagnosis yourself?

Anyways, well, at least here, we don't really know who you are, in person, so its not like we COULD backstab you, even if we wanted to. But I don't think anyone here is like that. Some may be, who knows? Not going to lie about it.

But I think you should definitely talk to a professional about these feelings, because if its anything further, better to get it under control sooner.

I wish you the best.

[emoticon]

yeah i have looked online for the past 5 days and since my paranoia is pretty much on and off; i cant find anything that fits into that.

[Thirteen]

Well thats because looking online only gives a brief idea, not the specifics, and there are things a psychological professional could catch on to that you, or others, may not see.

I highly suggest not looking online, but seeing someone in person, whether a therapist or a psychiatrist

[emoticon]

yeah but doesn't that cost money?

[emoticon]

tried telling my bfff about this is and she was like nothing wrong with you. now i'm throughly embarrssed. its not my fault that i'm only paraniod sometimes.

[Thirteen]

I don't know, depends on where you live, and if you're in school. Colleges usually have programs to help students dealing with issues, and well, you can always go to the doctor and find out more about things like therapy and psychiatric care.

I mean, you may as well talk to someone and try, right? What do you have to lose?

[emoticon]

them not believing me and looking like a complete fool. i told my friend and she doesn't beleive me. .

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

Don't go to online psychiatrists, go to ones in-person. It may cost you some money or it may be covered fully or partially by insurance. You may be able to get some psychiatric help through a college, high-school or university also. Spend the money needed for a proper diagnosis because you can get medications and treatment to address these symptoms you're facing.

As for your friend who claimed you had nothing, mental illnesses have an enormous stigma and many people are incorrect on what they think something is. Was this the same friend who after she was diagnosed, you wouldn't help? If so, then this shouldn't be a surprising result you're getting.

You said you wanted nobody to lie to you so I won't. By the brief description you gave, any credible, self-respecting psychiatrist or psychologist won't diagnose you on that information alone. You need to give more information which is why it's best for one-to-one conversations. Also, lots of communication is through facial emotions, vocal intonation, gestures and body language, so by online, this is all missed.

[emoticon]

Originally Posted by !!!YOU'RE$NUCKING$FUTZ!!!

As for your friend who claimed you had nothing, mental illnesses have an enormous stigma and many people are incorrect on what they think something is. Was this the same friend who after she was diagnosed, you wouldn't help? If so, then this shouldn't be a surprising result you're getting.

i don't get this. it not like i didn't help her with anything. i just told her randomly though an email after a good converstation on the phone. and she like BS.

[Thirteen]

Originally Posted by emoticon

them not believing me and looking like a complete fool. i told my friend and she doesn't beleive me. .

Okay, but remember that friends and family can be biased. Professionals are just that, professional. They usually won't assume you're making it up, well, unless you are really. Friends and family see the good and bad, and watch you grow up, basically. They also never want to believe anything is wrong. So thats why they're usually biased.