Triggering (Abuse): how do i do this(self harm n suicide trigegr aswell)

[stevie141]

Well heres the thing. When i was 6 i was sexually abused bu my babysitter and my brother his friend, until i was 11. once i was 14 i began to self harm alot because of my grandad dieing and also my entire school finding out i was gay. I was self harmin very regually until bout october last year since then i tried stoppin on mi own with mi partners help n it worked for a while. Now something has happend n i dunno what, im either back selfharmin again, wanting to and even considering suicide. which is normal for me but i also get really angry latly and want to shout at people and kik the crap out of everything and im also gettin paranoid i already cant go out on mi own n now im tryin not to leave at all, i think im gonna get beaten up all the time, mi friends wont help kus they dont want anythin do with me anymore, mi family either hate me or ignor me now n i just wanna find out if sumthin is actully wrong with me or am i just bein stupid i dont know what to do how to find out or anything, does anyone know what i should do, i live in the uk btw .... thankx

[MaroonLove]

First Of All, did you tell anyone about the abuse. Alot of the time talking about your feelings can help you feel better. Also it is good that you were able to get out of your self harming. Don't go back to that. Try talking to a trusted adult or even a counsler. The "friends" you mentioned do NOTsound like friends.