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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
JackOffJill Offline
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Never good enough - May 2nd 2010, 03:53 AM

I dont understand---I dont see myself the way that other people see me. I have had a lot of people tell me nice things but I dont believe what they tell me. I feel like everyone who tells me something nice is just lying to me. For example, if someone tells me that I am pretty I dont believe them at all.

I have always had body image issues ever since I was little. I remember being told by someone that if you are standing up and cant see your toes that that means you are fat. When I was 4 years old, I used to stand in the shower and look to make sure that I could see my toes. But the way that I would stand made it so that I couldnt see my toes so then I started believing that I was fat. I still do it to this day. When I was younger, I used to be extremely skinny but I always thought that my stomach was HUGE. I used to over exercise as a kid. I would do 500 sit ups before going to bed, sometimes more. I do not work out like that anymore. However, the way I see my body has gotten worse and worse. Every time I look in the mirror I see someone who is ugly, who is fat, who will never be wanted, who isnt good enough.

I think what has increased my lack of confidence is because I have never had anyone want me. I am 19 years old and Ive never been hit on or have a guy as me out. Random guys who I dont know will talk to me online, but thats it. I feel like I am disgusting and that its clearly true since guys dont want me.

I dont have an eating disorder. My relationship with food isnt always "healthy"- like sometimes I will cut back on what I eat because I think that Im fat. But I do eat and I dont try to lose weight. I know logically that I am the right weight for my height- but when I look in the mirror I see someone whose stomach is HUGE and who has HUGE thighs that are revolting.
I dont know how to change how I see myself and how I feel about myself. I really need help on some ideas on how I may be able to improve my self-esteem and how I see myself. I need help learning how to love myself. Im scared that Im going to be like this forever-- and this is what holds me back and makes me so depressed a lot of the time. Whats wrong with me??
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Kitty. Offline
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Re: Never good enough - May 4th 2010, 06:36 PM

Hey Karyn,
You obviously have some pretty big self-esteem problems.
You seem to be picking out flaws about yourself. Instead pick out something good like you hair or your eyes. Write that down on a piece of paper and tape it to your mirror. We all have flaws about our body. But that is what makes us unique and beautiful. I don't think it would be very good if everyone looked "perfect" Embrace the way you are and have confidence.
Don't worry about the fact that a guy has never hit on you. There is plenty of time for that. Give yourself time. By age 19, most guys have final just started caring about more than their video games. :P
Cutting down on food won't help anything. It will only make you more anxious and make you feel worse. Try eating healthy food and cutting out junk food. Junk food can actually make you feel quite sluggish. It has been proven that healthy eating can boos the happiness factor as well as keeping your body healthy.

Good luck and Take care
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
JackOffJill Offline
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Re: Never good enough - May 5th 2010, 05:30 AM

Thanks Kitty for the great advice. I really appreciate it. I feel a lot less stressed out about everything- like Im not as panicked about what I look like. Obviously working on my self image problems will take time, but thank you for the advice on how I can start doing that.
I dont feel so hopeless and overwhelmed now. So thanks you.
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Kitty. Offline
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Re: Never good enough - May 5th 2010, 05:53 PM

Your welcome I was glad to help
PM me anytime
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Re: Never good enough - May 6th 2010, 09:46 AM

Hey there Karyn,

I am sorry that you have such negative self image and that you are particularly struggling with your body image. That must be very difficult for you.

I think that positive thinking is most certainly one of the best ways to improve your mental health. It can be difficult, but it can also be very beneficial. Karyn, people have been complimenting you, for example. Try and appreciate and absorb their kind words. Why would they say it if they didn't mean it? It's important to try and think the best of things. I think that it is a very good thing that you have identified what in particular has been making you feel upset in yourself, as it means that you can try and work through that specific issue.

If you do feel as though this is interfering with your every day life and your confidence, it may not be a bad idea to talk these thoughts and feelings through with someone. It is not unusual to have poor self esteem and it is infact quite common - however, when it's overwhelming you then it should be addressed.

Take care of yourself.
   
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