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xxJoolay Offline
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Name: Julie
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: CA

Posts: 20
Join Date: November 13th 2009

): - May 9th 2010, 05:09 AM

Okay, well please listen to me. ): Ever since I got to middle school, I had a certain interest in one of the counselors at my school. Not like romantically or anything, I just wanted her to know me. And so in 6th grade (I'm in 8th grade now), I started a conversation with her, and then, I lied about so much to her, and I feel bad. I lied about how my mom went away for a long time, and won't be coming back for awhile. Since I'm in 8th now, I told her she came back, and yeah. I also lied about how I was on drugs and lied about how I would sneak out of my house to go to late night parties. The only real thing I said to her was that I cut myself. I cut myself for the lies I've said to her. But, I only did it once...and I told her that I cut myself (Not because I lied, but because I was just tired of life, which I am) And she said she had to tell my mom about the drugs and cutting. And I said to her I told my mom already, but my mom isn't AWARE of any of this. I just...wanted someone to listen to me. I don't go to my family because I just don't feel comfortable around them. Also, I said the same things about myself to my math teacher, because I started talking to her also (This started in 7th grade, and I have her as a teacher again) And now, I feel bad for lying about all of what I said. My school year is ending in a matter of weeks, and I was just thinking...that I would write them both a letter and tell them everything about how I lied. I don't have the courage to tell them face to face, because they've both told me they care about me, a lot. I LOVE THEM BOTH ALSO, but I'm afraid of what they would think, and so...I'm still thinking about the letters...since I'd be in high school. But I would confront them face to face, but I'm afraid that the counselor might tell my mom...and my mom doesn't really tolerate me getting in trouble at school (I try to stay away from trouble as much as possible) But, I'm scared, and don't know what to do. Please don't lecture me on lying...it just came out...I wanted someone to just listen to me, besides my friends, because sometimes I want an adult's opinion too. I think I need help, but I'm thinking I would want to get it when I'm on my own (You know, when I can take care of myself), so know one would know about it. But to focus on the present right now...I still can't choose to write them letters at the end of the school year explaining all the lies I've told them (Because both of them don't tolerate liars), or just not saying anything at all...

I'm sorry for the long post.
   
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