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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
JonahIzPotato Offline
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Being A Sadist :( - May 25th 2010, 05:49 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So uh... basically... my recent quote would be, "My mom says she'll love me for whoever I am, unless I'm a mass murderer. Being a sadist, I'm afraid that one day, I will be." So uh... basically, hey, I'm Iz, and I'm a sadist. And like... I need help... suppressing my bad thoughts... like I'll walk down the street... and just be thinking about kidnapping and murdering a little girl. And like... how do I stop this? The only think stopping me from murdering is my fear of getting in trouble... but I'm afraid that one day, when I'm older, just getting in trouble won't be enough to stop me. Anything I can do to try and stop my bad thoughts????


My name is Jonah and I don't post things very often
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Being A Sadist :( - May 25th 2010, 06:48 PM

The only thing I can suggest is talking to someone like a therapist now before it does get any worse.


   
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Re: Being A Sadist :( - May 25th 2010, 07:39 PM

I agree with Cara--thoughts like this can be very dangerous, as it seems you are aware of. If you are getting urges to harm people, you need to speak to someone (a doctor or therapist) immediately, to get you the help you need before it escalates to a point where you actually do hurt someone. I'd reach out right away.




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Re: Being A Sadist :( - May 26th 2010, 04:31 AM

you need to talk to someone!
   
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Re: Being A Sadist :( - May 26th 2010, 04:51 AM

honestly, you really need to see a therapist and/or a doctor. Right now you are able to control those thoughts on your own, but like you said, as you get older you may have a harder time controlling those thoughts and urges. I am glad that right now that the fear of getting in trouble has been able to keep you from acting on your thoughts. But please reach out to someone.
If you ever want to talk or vent or tell someone else about your thoughts so that you can get them out of your head please please feel free to PM me.
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Re: Being A Sadist :( - May 26th 2010, 08:13 AM

I'm going to question if you, the OP, is confused about sadism and your thoughts. When you say you think of kidnapping and killing innocent people, that's clearly murder but not sadism. Sexual sadism is a mental illness and part of the paraphalias (mis-spelled probably) but from what you've said so far, you're not one. This is based though simply on the one post you've made in this thread so more details are always needed. I'm also wondering what your reasons are for wanting to kill innocent people. Is it a way to let out anger and frustration?

But as others said, if you are displaying signs of sexual sadism or simply what you have described right now, then psychotherapy may be necessary. However, do not take this with a grain of salt because if you say to a doctor you're thinking of killing people, describing sexually sadistic thoughts and fantasies (if you have them) and any related behaviors/actions, this is a huge red flag. With other illnesses, such as depression or bipolar, you could get some meds and perhaps some psychotherapy relatively easily but for this, you won't and you likely would be bounced around to various doctors until you reach a specialist in this area or to a more secure hospital.

I'm not saying you shouldn't get therapy if you are having these thoughts and fantasies in vivid detail for a while as well as any sexual sadism but really begin considering yourself.
   
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Re: Being A Sadist :( - May 26th 2010, 12:41 PM

Here are my 'symptoms,' the things that make me think I am one.
I always play really rough
I hit and kick and shove and push people down playfully. It amuses me.
I verbally abuse my friends
I always have trouble containing my laughter when someone is hurt
I don't understand why cutting is bad.
I love to cut/hurt myself.
I have fantasies about murdering younger kids
Ever since I was little I always wanted to be a babysitter so I could torture a baby and listen to it cry
I laugh at others in pain.
I have major anger management issues. I hit stuff, break stuff, hurt people, hurt myself.
And I will admit, yes, I get sexual pleasure from reading stuff about/experiencing bullying/harassment/abuse/etc. I have often found myself hoping and wishing that someone would bully ME, because some sick part of my brain enjoys it


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Re: Being A Sadist :( - May 27th 2010, 03:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Q2Q2 View Post
Here are my 'symptoms,' the things that make me think I am one.
I always play really rough
I hit and kick and shove and push people down playfully. It amuses me.
I verbally abuse my friends
I always have trouble containing my laughter when someone is hurt
I don't understand why cutting is bad.
I love to cut/hurt myself.
I have fantasies about murdering younger kids
Ever since I was little I always wanted to be a babysitter so I could torture a baby and listen to it cry
I laugh at others in pain.
I have major anger management issues. I hit stuff, break stuff, hurt people, hurt myself.
And I will admit, yes, I get sexual pleasure from reading stuff about/experiencing bullying/harassment/abuse/etc. I have often found myself hoping and wishing that someone would bully ME, because some sick part of my brain enjoys it
I have a copy of the DSM-IV-TR in front of me so I'll state what it gives as the diagnostic criteria:

1) Over at least 6 months, recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving acts (real, not simulated) in which the psychological or physical suffering (including humiliation) of the victim is sexually exciting to the person.
2) The person has acted on these sexual urges with a nonconsenting partner, or the sexual urges or fantasies cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulty.

It's not simply playing rough with others or having no compassion for them, it's the fact that their pain is what is sexually arousing to you, so "normal", non-painful acts may not make you sexually aroused. On the one hand, your list of symptoms include sexual arousal from pain of others but on the other hand, you're confusing sadism with masochism. You may laugh at the pain of others but it's whether or not their pain is sexually arousing to you that matters.

I'm not a doctor but I'd say at the very least your symptoms would raise red flags to any doctor you see. I suppose the one thing that is still leaving me uncertain is what it is you actually do that makes it sexually arousing. If you are rough with peers your age versus having made-made torture devices, then you've got something. You seem to focus on the pain of children, so my questions are why to them, what your fantasies are, how long you've had them and are they based on something you experienced?
   
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Re: Being A Sadist :( - May 27th 2010, 04:05 AM

I know what you're going through I'm sorry to say... For me, I got a massicist boyfriend to amuse me, it was a win-win situation there. The doctor may be a good thing too...


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