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Unhappy Helpless and Hopeless - May 28th 2010, 11:51 PM

I have been dealing with Panic and Generalized Anxiety Disorder for 4 and a half years now. My anxiety comes in waves. I can go for weeks, to months and even years feeling "normal" and anxietyless, and then all of a sudden I can feel it creep on again.

I don't know if I am just having a bummer day right now, but I feel like I am falling apart. I am trying to hold back tears right now while typing this because I feel an enormous sense of despair. I have this heavy feeling in my chest right now and I want it so badly to go away.

I am 18 years old and obviously at my age, my mom expects me to have/find a job. She has really started to put on the pressure for me to seriously start looking for one and I am afraid to tell her that I don't want too because I am scared. I have only ever had one job and I only kept it for a month because near the end I couldn't control the anxiety anymore (prior to the job I was going through a good phase!). Therefore, now this would be my second job (when I find one).

I don't know if that is what is bothering me or not, but I have also come to the realization that I will not be seeing my boyfriend as much as I thought I would this summer. We have gone through some hard times during this past semester in Cegep, and I thought the summer would be a great time for us to reconnect again since we would have more time on our hands, turns out nope! He works a lot and now he will be taking a summer course in the mornings and working most days during the later afternoon into the late evening.

This too, has started to upset me because I feel like I won't see him at all. He will never be able to fit me into his schedule.. Sigh..

I guess I just wanted someone to talk too... to vent.. I don't really know what I am looking for.. I really just need a hug..

Perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically;
to those who hardly think about us in return.

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Re: Helpless and Hopeless - May 29th 2010, 02:52 AM

I know the feeling of pressure to find a job. Believe me. I'm 22 years old, and I worked a part-time job, only worked 3 shifts til I got "laid off". I don't know what I did wrong.
Anywho, point is, don't feel bad. You're only 18. You just finished school, or are going to be attending school in September, right? I know how bad anxiety can be, I suffer from it in social situations. And when driving. It's hard.

But if it only comes in spurts, you can always try finding a job anyways. The anxiety of the anxiety itself is probably going to be the worst part. And well, if the anxiety gets overwhelming again, perhaps talk to your mom about it.

You may be able to get professional help for these anxiety issues. And it's nothing to be ashamed of either. Keep in mind that Anxiety, whether caused by past experiences, or just out of nowhere, either way you're not the one at fault.

I hope you can get this figured out, and that things get better for you.
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helpless, hopeless

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