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Katie-Jade Offline
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Unhappy In Need of Advice please - July 5th 2010, 12:42 PM

Hey, I'm new to this scene so i'm guna give some details of what i'm going through.

I suffer from extreme low self esteem as a result of constant comments from family nd friends about my appearance and personality. The comments have been so hurtful and have resulted in me having no confidence. Im not comfortable with the way i am but theres nothing i can do to change it.

Since february, i've been suffering with sleeping problems, not being able to sleep, just lying awake crying my eyes out about how much i hate my life. I don't have a boyfriend, i've had a few but only one ive ever cared about, and that relationship ended a year ago when he cheated on me. All of my friends seem to be in happy long term relationships, and i dont have many single male friends as they all have girlfriends. I know it's silly but i guess i feel left out. Being with someone would make me feel much more confident about myself, and there would be someone there for me. I feel so "used" by certain friends who only want to talk to me when they need relationship advice. I also think i have ruined my gcses becuz i was so depressed when i was taking them, i didnt have motivation to revise properly

I went to see a counsellor, and she told me to talk to my parents about it, and that i could see her weekly but in September. Talking to my family is not an option unfortunately. I went to the doctors but she put it down to exam stress, but my exams are finished now and nothings changed. she wuoldnt even give me anything to help me sleep.

Ive tried so many things to improve the way i feel but nothing feels fun anymore. please someone offer me some practical advice, as it wud be much appreicated x
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falling_x Offline
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Re: In Need of Advice please - July 5th 2010, 02:07 PM

Hi Katie-Jade

GCSEs are long over, it can't be exam stress. Have you thought about going back to your doctor and telling him/her that you are still in a state and that your sleeping isn't great either?

I know how hard it is when friends and family put you down - at the age of 22, my mum still does it to me (occasionally) and it does effect your self esteem. As easy as it is to say, you just have to remember that they are only telling you what they see. What they see is different to what you see and experience. It's only their opinion. Doesn't mean its right, but it certainly isn't wrong.

I have found that, yes having a bf boosts my confidence, but I cannot usually get one until I am confident about myself first. You have to find your confidence first.

So what can you do? Start feeling good about yourself. Write a list of all the things *you* like about yourself. Doesn't matter if people around you don't like it, the important thing is that you do. For instance you could write "I love my sense of humour" even if everyone else around you finds you highly annoying!

Keep your list somewhere really safe, in a diary or a keep safe box somewhere where you won't loose it. And everytime someone says something about you or upsets you or even if you just feel low, read it. Add to it whenever you come up with something else.

In fact you might want to start reading it at the beginning and end of the day - just my opinion though.

Secondly, go shopping! I find that if I feel low and lacking confidence, I just set aside a bit of money each week and treat myself. It could be something really simple like a new outfit or (in my case) new underwear. Or a whole new wardrobe! Throw out any old clothes that you haven't worn in ages (or give them to charity). In getting rid of the old, you are making room for the new! Or just go out for lunch!

Finally, get out! Start a new hobby and find friends who share it. Talk to people, go out for a walk in your local park. Anything! Or you could arrange a picnic in the park and get all your friends together, take a ball or something and play.

Sorry its a bit long.
Hope it helps!

So much for that idea ...

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