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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Fading Light. Offline
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How does that make you feel? - July 10th 2010, 07:37 AM

When you were diagnosed with a mental illness, what was your first reaction? How did the diagnosis make you feel?

Was your first thought 'Now I finally have an explanation'? Or 'They must have made a mistake'? Or 'There's something wrong with me'?

Did you feel relieved? Annoyed? Confused?

How much did your diagnosis help you? Did you know anything about what you were diagnosed with?

You don't need to say what you were diagnosed with, or when, or anything like that. I'm just wondering what your reaction was. Feel free to be as brief or detailed as you want.

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: How does that make you feel? - July 10th 2010, 07:54 AM

Honestly I felt relieved when I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and a mood disorder because I felt less crazy. I finally was able to accept myself for who I am. I was able to accept the fact that Im not just shy, I have S.A.D. and thats what prevents me from being social. I was also relieved because I was unable to leave my house and when I did finally leave to see my doctor after 3 months the diagnoses allowed me to be classified special ed and get the help I needed in school. So for me being diagnosed was more of a positive thing- especially because I dont let my illnesses define me. Just like through special education, I am classified as "severally emotionally disturbed" (horrible classification name if you ask me!) but I didnt let that label get to me because I know who I am (to an extent) and because its just a classification that allows me to get the assistance I need. I was able to think about it logically to keep it from bothering me.

"Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself and become a new person." -Gerard Way
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Re: How does that make you feel? - July 10th 2010, 03:46 PM

I felt like they stuck a label on me. I think i was more ashamed than relieved. I no that it wasnt my fault and that having a mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of but that was my first reaction

But so many people are looking to me
to be strong and to fight

but i'm just surviving
and I may be weak but I'm never defeated

and I'll keep believing
in clouds with that sweet silver lining

  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: How does that make you feel? - July 10th 2010, 09:05 PM

While I haven't been properly diagnosed, I was a bit shocked at first when my therapist suggested that I might be depressed. After a while, though, I began to agree with her. There was a long period where I was in denial about the whole thing. Now... It's not that hard to believe, and I'm not really sure whether I'm relieved or afraid.
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Re: How does that make you feel? - July 10th 2010, 09:24 PM

I wasn't surprised because I'd already done research on the idea and had a pretty good idea that I had depression.
I guess if anything I was relieved because I knew that I would get help for it, because I was sick of having to deal with it on my own.

A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts

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Re: How does that make you feel? - July 10th 2010, 09:49 PM

Made no difference to me whether I had a name on what I was feeling or not. Labels actually make me feel like the problem is out of my control and I can't fix it, so I prefer to just think of it as a collection of feelings I need to work on and leave behind.
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Re: How does that make you feel? - July 10th 2010, 09:53 PM

It made me feel more messed up than I already was and that I had had a label stuck on me, which people would look down on me for. I agree with some of the diagnosis but some of it I don't believe I fit with. I guess my diagnosis has helped me in enabling professionals to know what treatment I needed.
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Re: How does that make you feel? - July 12th 2010, 06:36 PM

When I was diagnosed with social anxiety and depression, I kind of felt a mixture of emotions. I did feel and sense of relief and realisation as to why I'd always found it so hard to talk to people, yet I felt sad to be labelled with a mental illness, and to know that I was different from other people in this respect.
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Re: How does that make you feel? - July 12th 2010, 09:23 PM

I was diagnosed with clinical depression, an anxiety disorder NOS and a mood disorder. Initially, I felt a mixture of both relief and embarrassment - relief because they had figured out what was wrong, and we could finally start treating it, but embarrassed and almost humiliated because I hated accepting that I was different and that there was actually something wrong with me. However, once the initial shock wore off, it ended up becoming my motivation to make a full and complete recovery, as I believe one can do from depression, anxiety and mood disorders. Though I still go through bouts of depression, though I still have issues with anxiety (which might require going back on medication) and though I'm still suffering affects of the mood disorder (such as violent mood swings), I've gone down from 5 medications to 1, have made significant progress since getting a new therapist, who I've been seeing for a year, and ultimately plan to wean off the last medication, or any other medications, that I'm on. I also hope to continue making progress in therapy. So though they stamped me with a diagnosis in the beginning, I'm going to prove that a diagnosis doesn't have to be forever.
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Re: How does that make you feel? - July 12th 2010, 09:50 PM

I like things to be the way I wan't them to be and I hate it when things go unexplained.
I was and I still am searchimg for answers. I was only diagnosed with clinical depression about three weeks ago. At first it made sense. I felt a little relieved that actually I found what the problem was and that I could start getting better. I then thought about the situation. I became scared at that point. I thought that if people found out they'd start labelling me. I also became scared that i was crazy. I thought that because i had a 'metal illness' i was crazy. That isn't the case. I guess it's taking some getting used to. I'm still scared of what people will think though..

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Re: How does that make you feel? - July 12th 2010, 10:14 PM

When I was diagnosed with anxiety I was happy to have someone finally understand what I was going through.

When I was diagnosed with depression I fought the diagnosis for the most part because I thought it would upset my family. I also didn't have the same symptoms and what is commonly described as depression. When I learned about the term atypical depression it helped me come to terms with it and deal with it, though I still denied everything to my family.

When I was diagnosed with an eating disorder and they told my mom I was so angry. I think I knew I had a problem, but I was in denial and I didn't want to have to stop my behaviour.

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You're not much, goodness knows.
But you're so precious to me,
Sweet as can be,
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Re: How does that make you feel? - July 12th 2010, 11:04 PM

I've never been diagnosed, because I go to a plain old therapist instead of a psychiatrist, but she basically told me I have undiagnossed depression. I was so angry at her for saying that. I felt so ashamed.
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Re: How does that make you feel? - July 13th 2010, 02:21 AM

I was relieved when I was diagnosed with some things, and intensely ashamed of others and got stuck in denial with having them; With regards to the treatment I spose the diagnosis's help them treat you to an extent.. but I found the problem being I was treated for my 'diagnosis' instead of the symptoms that I felt were actually more of the problem.

[x] Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You wont try for me, not now,
Though I'd die to know you love me,

I'm all alone,

Isn't something missing?
Isnt someone missing me [x]

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Re: How does that make you feel? - July 13th 2010, 06:15 AM

When I was diagnosed I felt the diagnosis was correct and wasn't surprised by it. I knew though that something was wrong and wanted to get it treated. I didn't have severe symptoms, in fact, much of the time I wasn't bothered by them too much. They did cause some impairment but not a lot. Anyways, I'm no longer seeing a psychiatrist nor a therapist because I was "cleared" in that the therapist admitted she didn't know what else to work on as there wasn't anything else, and the psychiatrist said the same thing. I was diagnosed with a personality disorders and with schizophrenia (very very mild symptoms) and without any medications, the schizophrenic symptoms are gone, and others agree with that. The personality ones were largely based on the view I have on life, which several therapists didn't seem to understand or want to understand, leading to anger and frustration. When I found my last therapist and psychiatrist, they both understood my view because they spent more time listening and thinking, as opposed to writing and interrupting but they wanted to channel it in a more acceptable way, which at the end, I agreed with.

Long story short: I was fine with the diagnosis and got treated as much as possible. Towards the end, I saw my psychiatrist more and more because I really liked him and trusted him, so we'd just talk about how each of us were doing. He'd do some talking of his last few weeks and I'd do the same. At the end, he basically said there's nothing else to do and I cant be a patient because I'd be taking up time for patients who need him but still was open to talking about anything whenever I wanted.
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Re: How does that make you feel? - July 13th 2010, 02:35 PM

I felt relieved. I agreed with the diagnosis from square one. I was glad that they finally had a reason for what was wrong with me, and that it wasn't just something I was "making up" (in my parents words).

"Now at the end of everyday I lie awake at night and wait
To feel the wires of my brain get cut and quietly rearranged, and
Hear my beaten heart exclaim, 'Still, I refuse to let her go.'"

So we escape to our mistakes for they wait patiently for us.
Oh, how they always wait for me.

If my fear has kept me here only my fear can set me free."
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Re: How does that make you feel? - July 13th 2010, 11:55 PM

I have known about having depression and anxiety since years ago, but every time I tried to tell my parents they told me I was exaggerating and that the only problem was that I needed to suck it up. So then I started trying to get help from other sources. First the police showed up at the door, then my school sent me to the hospital. Second time around in the hospital finally woke my parents up and the psych unit set me up with a free therapist and psychiatrist through our Alberta health care. When they diagnosed me I was like "haha no shit I knew that" and they laughed. Then I got to say I told you so to my parents, and now I can crawl into their bed when I have panic attacks because they finally get it. So I am happy to finally get my diagnosis.
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