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Was I wrong to do this.. - August 9th 2010, 12:08 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of peer pressure or bullying, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Long story short, I'm your ordinary 10th grader, and I live overseas (not in the US), not really popular but known enough I guess. Last school year I was continously bullied and picked on by a few people, and one key person whom I hated so much during the year. I just sat there and took it from them, sometimes a punch in the arm, didn't really hurt but it annoyed the shit out of me. During the final days of school during final exams he did it again and I just lost it. I took him down and unleashed the living hell out on him.

Was I wrong to do that? I don't even remember controlling myself to do that, I just did.
   
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Re: Was I wrong to do this.. - August 9th 2010, 01:24 AM

Hey there!

I would like to start out by thanking you for making that post. Some times it can take a lot of courage to open up about something inside to people and asking for help, so well done.

What you are describing there sounds completely normal! Sometimes when we get angry, we tend to build it up inside of us and not release it in any way. When that level gets to a certain amount that is too much for us, we tend to let it out all at once. Which explains your lack of control over the situation.

Obviously this isn't the best way of dealing with anger. And there are a lot better methods out there. You might find it helpful to read some books on anger management, or even look at our alternatives to Self Harm thread [I understand this isn't the same situation]. Just try to focus on your hobbies when you feel upset or frustrated, and not try to take it out on others!

I hope this helps a little bit



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Re: Was I wrong to do this.. - August 9th 2010, 04:55 AM

I believe for most situations (this one included), if violence is to be done to someone, it should be just enough to stop them from hurting you, and then add a bit more to ensure temporarily they won't. Taking the guy down and beating him up I believe is wrong but I have more sympathy and understanding for why you did it. In some situations, it does call for someone to get a hard smack or two for them to quit it. Obviously you tried other methods, such as perhaps reasoning, ignoring, reporting it to others, etc... and they all failed because it continued. I think you have good control of your temper because you didn't do this immediately after the bully first started. This does not make it the right thing to do but it makes it less wrong than if you reacted when the bully first started. To me, I don't see a mental problem you may have.
   
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Re: Was I wrong to do this.. - August 9th 2010, 05:36 AM

I dont think it was wrong. im a 10 grader too, i got picked on all year and finaly lashed out at them. but i just screamed at them since, even tho i was seeing red, itd be suicide for me to attack them. so, good for you for being able to handle it so long, but, maybe next time, just yell at them. but whats done is done, no need to feel remorse over somthing that cant be changed. and maybe now they know dont mess with you so much? i dont think you need anger manegment, just less bulling.


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Re: Was I wrong to do this.. - August 9th 2010, 07:42 AM

Trust me when I say that there isn't anything wrong with something like that happening. It's normal, and every human mind has its breaking point. What you need, however, is an outlet. A way to take out your stress in a manner that doesn't harm others. Try talking to a friend, or loved one, or writing about it. Both of those usually help me


   
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