Confused

[Mehhhhhh]

I don't know what to do or say, I am just really confused and don't understand much, it is only recent really a bit but I just feel delusional or something, I try to sleep and all I hear are voices, I have heard voices before but those are just the normal voices, I can't control these... They tell me to stop being so lazy and get up and so I have to then I just sit in the bath for a few hours or whatever until somebody finds me and then I have to go to bed, I can't even think properly everything is just such a rush and a daze, I feel ill everything is so loud and bright I cannot concentrate on anything, much milder forms of this have happened before they have happened before but now I don't know everything is so confusing my dad keeps telling me off because I am not being cooperative or something I am not speaking properly or something I don't know I am just confused what is going on I just need to write it is easier to write than to talk, evidently, the music always plays you know my head is just so loud, I swear people can hear me thinking I know they can it is too loud and they can't even hear the voices even when they are screaming what is wrong with me? I went to the doctor 153 minutes ago about my sleep issues but they just said I was unhappy I couldn't think anyway so I didn't say much YES I am unhappy but WHY I am going to a thing sometime I can't remember when I cannot remember anything anymore that I need I can't express myself properly all of this it makes no sense they are just letters is this even english? I don't know

[Mehhhhhh]

Ok fair enough I shall battle alone into the unknown what am I supposed to do I have no idea

[Mehhhhhh]

32 views not one reply :/

[Autumuse]

Firstly, never think you're alone. In a battle, there are two sides and you always have allies. this is a war between you and this confusion.
I used to be severely schizophrenic and sometimes would get really weirded out by the simplest of things; the MSN messenger noise, certain types of music, and my computer in general. And sometimes I couldn't get myself to do things even though my mind was screaming at me to do it. If that's close to what you feel then you may have some case of schizophrenia (voices in your head = not a good sign). It's a really treatable disease/disorder really. First off, tell a parent and suggest therapy. Don't be ashamed about this. A LOT of people go to therapy, even teens as young as 11 or 12. This is important because you don't want to be misdiagnosed of having depression.
What you can do in the meantime is try to stop the voices in your head. This means ignoring them, listening to music and keeping yourself busy. Try buying a computer game and occupying yourself so thatyour mind isn't empty and open for the voices to return. Do things out of the ordinary. Replace things like taking a bath with a bike ride or hike. Instead of sitting in your room all day, try looking up recipes and surprising your family with dinner.
I cannot express enough how important it is to STAY BUSY and have a FULL MIND. A good idea would be to keep a journal with your emotions during the day. If you feel more than 10 or less than 3, you need to be busier.

I am a recovered and controlled schizophrenic and haven't heard the voices in over a year and a half. You can do this. Win the war

[Mehhhhhh]

That helped so much, thank you.

Sadly what you described is exactly how I feel. I find myself going "Did I imagine that?" "Was that real?" Stuff like that all the time now..

But thank you.

I am nervous of telling my parents, I just cannot see them taking it seriously :/

But as you say I guess I have to, it isn't nice living like this

Thank you

[Autumuse]

I know how you feel. It's hard waking up and wondering if you're really hearing something or if it's still a dream or if it's something in your mind. My parents were sort of skeptical at first but if you take them aside together and say you need to speak with them. they might be alarmed and really listen. Since you can't show any symptoms then they'd have to resort to therapy.
You're right, no one deserves to live like this and that includes you. If you're scared about therapy, don't be. The doctors are really nice and help you to understand if you tell them the truth. I'm happy you're willing to rack up the courage and tell your parents; that's really a big step forward
Let us know how it goes and if you need any more advice/help/questions

[Mehhhhhh]

Thank you so much
According to my father I have been acting and speaking "odd" over the past month, which I hadn't really noticed till he labelled everything.

One question... I looked up schizophrenia today and the diagnosis etc.. and it says you need a mental health examination... What's that? Does it hurt?

O.o Thanks

[Autumuse]

That's a good sign that people are noticing it That way they will believe you when you say you have trouble.
What I had done was a sleep study and a psychological test. The sleep study was to test for epilepsy so you probably won't have to take it (my mom wanted to make sure because of family history with epilepsy) but the psycholgical exam was very simple. They looked at my eyes with lights and tracked the way they moved, then asked me to answer simple math questions then something like a Rorschach test. Then they talked to me about my life and emotions I felt and stuff like that. I think it might be different for each case but don't be afraid, just tell the truth and as much as you can. Don't be shy, they're there to help you and it will work

[Mehhhhhh]

Ok thanks for helping me so much