Relationships and Depression (and other mental illnesses/issues)

[bitesize]

I'm not really sure if I'm posting this to look for advice or just to hear your own experiences. Both are welcome. (:

Have many of you dealt with relationships (boyfriend/girlfriend relationships I mean, not platonic) where one of you has suffered from depression?? Or any other mental health issue ~ but because I have personal experience with depression, it's what I'm most interested to hear about.

I suffer from depression ~ it's not severe (although it's not exactly a fat bowl of fun) and I find it a really hard job not to let it affect my relationship. I get insecure and anxious really easily, and if I'm feeling down I'll often either crave loads affection or completely isolate myself.
I'm scared it makes me needy.

With my last boyfriend, I made the mistake of leaning on him too much for support. He wasn't mature enough really to handle it, and stuff like my self harm and my insecurity became big issues in our relationship. I never want to do that in a relationship again.

I've told my current boyfriend that I have depression, that I used to have counselling and that I went through a short course of mild antidepressants, but I didn't want to tell him I used to SH. He's a really great guy and a good boyfriend, but I'm not sure he was really very comfortable with the topic, and I'm scared if it comes up again it'll freak him out. Maybe it won't, but I don't really want to risk it. I don't even like to tell him if I'm feeling down. I'm scared of how it's gonig to be if I'm going through another bad patch again. I just think things would be a lot easier if I didn't have depression.

How have you guys coped with either going out with someone with a mental illness, or with balancing your own issues and a relationship at the same time....?? I'd really like to hear any stories. (:

[Thirteen]

Well, I have a story, but I would prefer to PM it, if thats OK with you.

[Kyeto-X]

I have a story too. Basically we both have our insecurties and issues but we are there for each other. Normally neither one of us has an episode on top of each other, but there are times it happens, which gets weird. When I have an episode, I want to hold her close and kiss on her, make sure she doesn't leave me. When SHE has an episode, she does NOT want physical contact at all, and gets claustrophobic. And we both have relationship anxeity as it is, we are both phobic of the other leaving. But I can push my issues aside and talk her down, and usually just helping her feel better makes me feel better. And then we cuddle and kiss and reassure each other later

It can be tense at times because neither one of us wants to trigger the other. But we are starting to realize that it DOES happen and that it is NOT our fault. We just hold onto each other and make each other strong. With Every day and every event we grow closer. Which is how i want it to be forever

[bitesize]

Originally Posted by -ArcAngel-

Well, I have a story, but I would prefer to PM it, if thats OK with you.

That's fine. (:

[bitesize]

*bump* really, no other replies??

[Thirteen]

... I sent a reply to your inbox.

[olivecrayon]

Short summaries:
I have depressive, obsessive-compulsive and anxiety diagnoses and EDNOS (previously anorexic type II), and self-harm.

I basically broke up with my last boyfriend because of these issues, he didn't know about them (I hadn't been diagnosed yet) and I couldn't let myself tell him. He wrote me a letter saying he felt like I didn't love him back and didn't trust him. He was right, we went on a break hoping I could sort myself out, but like all breaks it ended in me breaking up with him.

Currently my best male friend knows in fair detail all of my issues, he's one of only 2 people who does. After recent events it's come to light that he more than just accepts me and loves me, he wants me as more than a friend and is potentially in love with me. It's complicated because I'm moving soon, but I think otherwise I would go for it. As much as I'm terrified of being his burden, he loves me and wants to help and it's such a relief to not have to lie, and he makes me feel safe. He'll also answer his phone at 2am if I need him :P