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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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Shaking randomly, eating problems and stronger delusions - August 26th 2010, 06:15 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hey, This fits into a lot of different categories, but I've chosen Mental Heath, as it is the best fitting.

I've been having some eating problems, and some mental health problems.

I just got back from Vietnam and Cambodia, where my disabled brother had a seizure, and I started to eat less. Since it was a group tour, my parents didn't see how much I was eating, so I would only eat a very small amount.

My parents normally give me more food than I would like, because they think I have an eating problem, but now, they are giving me my old portions, which is far too much, which means, when left to making my own food, I feel so sick, I don't eat unless my parents are watching. I find food repulsive. I've lost weight, I don't want to eat; I hate my body so much. I fight everyday to not get an eating disorder, I don't want to have all the problems that it gives you (bad hair, bad teeth, bad skin, bad odour, etc) but I just want to be a stick, I want to be underweight, I want to be so thin, people stop and stare on the street and question, "natural, or unnatural?", but I don't want to be seen as 'the girl with an eating disorder, who has terrible...'. My family doesn't know about my problems, my sister only knows a limited amount, and now that it's turning into winter, I will SH again and no-one will see.

I have another problem which is new, it started before the eating problem (I don't think it's classified as an eating disorder, yet) where I get dizzy at random moments, it feels like when you are very tipsy/lightly drunk, except you don't act drunk. It gets in the way in my average day. I get it about 4 times a week, but I never got it before.

My delusions are getting stronger, they weren't that bad before, just strange sounds once every two weeks, but not they are almost often. At least once a week, sometimes several. A few nights ago, I saw a construction-worker in the hotel room, drawing me. I heard cat's meow, but no-one else did, even though it was so loud it was like a scream, no-one could have missed it. After a terrifying dream, I heard footsteps coming towards my bed. Those are just examples out of many strange happenings.

I'm acting generally happier, but I feel little better, I'm drawing away from the world, even though I spend more time with people... In a few weeks, when school starts again, I will be at a new school, hopefully with a school counsellor.

I am scared that when I get older and my emotions are hormones mature, I will turn into a sociopath. I already have some symptoms, but it tends to not fully mature until 18. I have no sexual needs, which is strange, because most people my age do, that could just be a result of sexual assault though...
Please give me advice on what to do, or what is happening to me.
Thanks


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Re: Shaking randomly, eating problems and stronger delusions - August 27th 2010, 12:29 AM

I am not a professional, however it looks like you are not a sociopath by any definition. You would need to lack empathy; which, as an active member of this forum you seem to have a good capacity for empathy. Younger individuals do not slide into sociopathy. By your age you are either a sociopath (by way of Conduct Disorder) or you are not. By showing that you are worried about becoming one you also are indicating that you are not. So you are good on that end.

Delusions and hallucinations (auditory or visual) are a different issue. I like your idea about seeing the school counselor. They should be able to help you (as many have psychological degrees) or refer you to a good psychologist or psychiatrist who may help you manage your mental health and improve the quality of your life. That is what is important after all, improving your life.

As for your issue about dizziness. Dizziness can be caused by multiple things. It all depends on various factors and your current environment. Does this happen when you stand up after sitting? If so it could indicate a drop in blood pressure. Additionally a pervasive low blood pressure or various other conditions can cause this. I would consult with a doctor if this issue continues since it is causing a problem in your life.

As for the eating issue. What drives you to feel that you want to be that underweight? Why does it have to be underweight? You can attain a slim waistline while maintaining a healthy eating pattern. For resources on this you could see a dietitian, family doctor, or various websites on line for healthy eating. The key is to obtain ample nutrients such as vitamins and minerals. Especially growing up as you are right now. You're going through a pivotal time in your life where you need those vitamins, minerals, and proteins more than ever to help build a healthy body.
   
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Re: Shaking randomly, eating problems and stronger delusions - August 27th 2010, 09:12 AM

I'd be willing to bet a large amount, you won't ever become a sociopath when you're an adult. Those who do show very obvious signs well before they're an adult, near or at your age and you are showing none of them. If someone told you that you would, then coming from someone who has taken forensic psychology with FBI agents and done a paper on psychopathy, they're peddling bullshit.

I believe you mean you have hallucinations because you hear and see things not there but you may also have delusions too. For diagnostic purposes, it probably wouldn't matter whether you said delusion or hallucination. It would matter if you said neither or both. The most common and known reason would be schizophrenia and for that, you need more than what you're saying. You may have more but there would be more information needed. However, even so, having it at 11 years old, which is young, is not common because those who have it that young have it very severe (younger the onset, more severe the symptoms are currently and later on). However, I'm not sure if you even have either of them.

When I say this, I'm not disbelieving you when you say you had a nightmare but the fact that you said "strange sounds" and then an example was footsteps immediately after a nightmare is very skeptical. When you have a nightmare or are otherwise very anxious, you'll pay attention to sounds you usually wouldn't, which begin to scare you. When you hear the sounds, you try to figure out what they're from but if you've just watched a horror film, had a nightmare or very anxious, your brain determines what is the most probable given something that'd happen in the horror film or dream. For example, you wake up from a nightmare and you hear some small sounds. Depending on the content of the nightmare, it'd make sense to think footsteps because that's what you were dreaming (or whatever it was you dreamed).

Regarding the dizziness, because you're eating less and less, if it did not happen when you were eating more, then it probably is due to you not eating much. There's only one thing to do to stop it if it is this: eat. But why do you want to be underweight by a lot? Did you begin ever since your brother seizured because I'm curious why?


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Re: Shaking randomly, eating problems and stronger delusions - August 27th 2010, 03:58 PM

The reason I thought I might be a sociopath is I have shallow emotions, I may act happy, put smily faces on messages, but I don't mean a single one of them, I lie a lot, I may act like a care about others troubles, but I really couldn't care less (I have no empathy), I manipulate people, I don't often feel guilty, even when I should, I like to hurt people, I like hurting myself, I'm paranoid etc.

I used to have other symptoms of Schizophrenia, but they no longer trouble me, so I doubt that I have Schizophrenia.

I understand what you mean about imagining that the sounds I heard were footsteps, you are probably right.

I forgot to mention the shaking. I shake at random points in the day, I'll be sitting down, reading, and then my whole body starts quivering and shaking for about 10 seconds. I don't think that it's anything important, but I thought I'd mention it.

I started being dizzy before the eating problem. I've always been conscious of my weight, but recently it has got a lot worse and I am starting to take action. I miss as many meals as I can get away with, I only drink water and chew gum when people aren't watching me. My stomach hurts so much, but I never feel hungry. My stomach hurts right now, it's a dull ache. It doesn't matter whether I'm sitting down or standing up, it happens in both positions.

I feel the need to not eat and be underweight to feel comfortable in my own skin, to try and raise my self-confidence. I know that being thin won't change that, but logic doesn't always work for me. I have to be slim and fast, I have to be able to see my ribs, I have to be thin. It's one of my self harming habits. It's my new way of self harm, I used to cut, then I strangled and now I don't eat, I change regularly. The cutting was more healthy, in a way, but if I don't eat, I get thin and self harm (I like the stomach aches, the emptiness and the tearing feelings from inside).


Thank you for the replies,
Rosy x


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Re: Shaking randomly, eating problems and stronger delusions - August 28th 2010, 02:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by iMuse View Post
The reason I thought I might be a sociopath is I have shallow emotions, I may act happy, put smily faces on messages, but I don't mean a single one of them, I lie a lot, I may act like a care about others troubles, but I really couldn't care less (I have no empathy), I manipulate people, I don't often feel guilty, even when I should, I like to hurt people, I like hurting myself, I'm paranoid etc.
Some of those have nothing to do with psychopathy, such as hurting oneself or being paranoid. However, from some other things you said, I still say you're nothing close to a psychopath. First, you mention shallow emotions. Psychopaths do not have this, they have (other than extreme anger sometimes) no emotions displayed or felt. Second, you mention you sometimes feel guilty (you say you don't often feel guilty meaning at times you do) but psychopaths do not. Lastly, you help people on this website for no money, nothing in return. Pretending to act happy when you're not happy is not what psychopaths do. They act happy because they don't "feel" happiness, they don't know what it truly is.

The person in my signature would be considered a psychopath. He admitted that whenever he killed people, he'd look at their dead eyes and see only himself because he felt nothing. The only emotion he'd feel would sometimes be anger and that often resulted in any number of corpses. As a child, he tortured cats, burned cats alive, skinned some alive and did this to other animals all for the pure fun and interest of it. At that time, he was about your age, give or take 1-2 years.

The cases where they've found children who currently are psychopaths, do much more than this. For example, there was a case where one broke into a zoo, killed many reptiles by smashing their skulls against rocks then throwing other animals to the crocodiles while the kid hopped in to watch up close as the animals fought and died. Another case was when there was one psychopathic child and one non-psychopathic child. The non-psychopathic child was still an infant in its crib and would have severe abdominal pains and bruising on its limbs. Eventually, the parents saw that the psychopathic child would beat the baby up and when the parents intervened, the psychopathic child started hitting the baby's head on the ground. He then admitted he likes sharp things to stick in live animals to have them "dance". Those are psychopaths (and other diagnoses).

Quote:
Originally Posted by iMuse View Post
I forgot to mention the shaking. I shake at random points in the day, I'll be sitting down, reading, and then my whole body starts quivering and shaking for about 10 seconds. I don't think that it's anything important, but I thought I'd mention it.
This could be due to your eating habits or to something else. When people's electrolytes are thrown off balance, this can occur. For example, hyponatremia is when your sodium serum levels are too low. It often is due to other medical conditions however, certain diets can cause it to happen. The same can occur for hypokalemia (excessively low potassium serum levels). Both usually are due to medical illnesses but diets with very low sodium and potassium and lots of water consumption. Given you said you drink lots of water and don't eat much, this can be the cause.

Quote:
Originally Posted by iMuse View Post
I feel the need to not eat and be underweight to feel comfortable in my own skin, to try and raise my self-confidence. I know that being thin won't change that, but logic doesn't always work for me. I have to be slim and fast, I have to be able to see my ribs, I have to be thin. It's one of my self harming habits. It's my new way of self harm, I used to cut, then I strangled and now I don't eat, I change regularly. The cutting was more healthy, in a way, but if I don't eat, I get thin and self harm (I like the stomach aches, the emptiness and the tearing feelings from inside).
If part of the reasoning for why you don't eat is because you want to increase self-confidence, then have you tried doing other less harmful things that can make you more self-confident? Also, suppose you become slim enough to see all of your ribs, have very thin limbs and weigh not a lot. Would you then feel self-confident in your looks or would you decide that you need to be slimmer and slimmer? I believe you'd decide you would still need to be slimmer and slimmer, becoming more unhealthy and setting more unhealthy goals, such as seeing your radius and ulna in greater detail. In other words, it's a cycle you're well aware of and you want it to keep going but to others, it doesn't work for what you want it to work. The way I see it, if you're self-confident, you won't need to worry so much about how you look but I don't believe that'll happen with this.

My other question is, what inspired you to take this route of becoming slimmer and slimmer? I'd assume it was to look like other girls do who are slim but what do you believe is the cause(s)?


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Re: Shaking randomly, eating problems and stronger delusions - September 2nd 2010, 12:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WOW!USaidSomethingSmart! View Post
Some of those have nothing to do with psychopathy, such as hurting oneself or being paranoid. However, from some other things you said, I still say you're nothing close to a psychopath. First, you mention shallow emotions. Psychopaths do not have this, they have (other than extreme anger sometimes) no emotions displayed or felt. Second, you mention you sometimes feel guilty (you say you don't often feel guilty meaning at times you do) but psychopaths do not. Lastly, you help people on this website for no money, nothing in return. Pretending to act happy when you're not happy is not what psychopaths do. They act happy because they don't "feel" happiness, they don't know what it truly is.

The person in my signature would be considered a psychopath. He admitted that whenever he killed people, he'd look at their dead eyes and see only himself because he felt nothing. The only emotion he'd feel would sometimes be anger and that often resulted in any number of corpses. As a child, he tortured cats, burned cats alive, skinned some alive and did this to other animals all for the pure fun and interest of it. At that time, he was about your age, give or take 1-2 years.

The cases where they've found children who currently are psychopaths, do much more than this. For example, there was a case where one broke into a zoo, killed many reptiles by smashing their skulls against rocks then throwing other animals to the crocodiles while the kid hopped in to watch up close as the animals fought and died. Another case was when there was one psychopathic child and one non-psychopathic child. The non-psychopathic child was still an infant in its crib and would have severe abdominal pains and bruising on its limbs. Eventually, the parents saw that the psychopathic child would beat the baby up and when the parents intervened, the psychopathic child started hitting the baby's head on the ground. He then admitted he likes sharp things to stick in live animals to have them "dance". Those are psychopaths (and other diagnoses).



This could be due to your eating habits or to something else. When people's electrolytes are thrown off balance, this can occur. For example, hyponatremia is when your sodium serum levels are too low. It often is due to other medical conditions however, certain diets can cause it to happen. The same can occur for hypokalemia (excessively low potassium serum levels). Both usually are due to medical illnesses but diets with very low sodium and potassium and lots of water consumption. Given you said you drink lots of water and don't eat much, this can be the cause.



If part of the reasoning for why you don't eat is because you want to increase self-confidence, then have you tried doing other less harmful things that can make you more self-confident? Also, suppose you become slim enough to see all of your ribs, have very thin limbs and weigh not a lot. Would you then feel self-confident in your looks or would you decide that you need to be slimmer and slimmer? I believe you'd decide you would still need to be slimmer and slimmer, becoming more unhealthy and setting more unhealthy goals, such as seeing your radius and ulna in greater detail. In other words, it's a cycle you're well aware of and you want it to keep going but to others, it doesn't work for what you want it to work. The way I see it, if you're self-confident, you won't need to worry so much about how you look but I don't believe that'll happen with this.

My other question is, what inspired you to take this route of becoming slimmer and slimmer? I'd assume it was to look like other girls do who are slim but what do you believe is the cause(s)?
Thank you for making sure that I'm not a sociopath.

I just want to feel as though I am just paper, no fat, just bones, a skeleton. To be able to feel my bones without having to pull the fat away first, to be spiky and bony, like a knife, although, I know that is not possible to be so thin that I'm spiky and sharp, I would die first.


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