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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
taylalatbh. Offline
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Lack of confidence rant. - August 31st 2010, 12:39 AM

I've put this here because I couldn't think of where else to put it, but I'm sure it suits better elsewhere.

I think this is basically just a rant, but hopefully I'll get something good out of the end of it.

Basically, I'm unhappy with the way I look. My facial appearance is really lowering my confidence. And I believe that it's stopping my ability to make new friends, meet new people and progress in life. There isn't an easy way to fix my appearance, apart from surgery which I refuse to have. So I'm stuck with how I look. I don't really mind how I look. But a lot of other people seem to find it funny to poke fun at me, and laugh. I get nasty comments from idiots on the street and abuse online, sometimes. I say it doesn't bother me but I think subconciously, it does.

I need to find ways to raise my confidence and self esteem, and meet new friends. But I feel as though people don't want to know me. I think of myself as a nice person, and I do have friends now who appear to like me, but they don't seem to want to talk to me a lot or see me often. But when we do go out, we have a really good time, then .. nothing. And I don't understand why.

I just don't feel as though I'm moving forward in life. I don't have a good group of friends, I don't get out there, I don't do anything! And I don't know what to do about it. Nothing is easy for me to do, so if I think I'll struggle, I won't do it. So now I'm kind of just stuck here. Not doing anything, not speaking to anyone and not going anywhere. And I've had about enough of it!

I think I'm going to cut it off there, as I'm definitely just ranting now. Cheers guys.



   
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Re: Lack of confidence rant. - August 31st 2010, 02:31 AM

It's ok to rant. Actually I think you're looking for some understanding and support.

Nobody's perfect, I guess you've heard a thousand times. So I won't discount what you say, but I think your social dissatisfaction has more to do with your self confidence than your looks.

My solution is to get out and meet as many people as possible. The more you meet, the more likely you to find people who will like you. The trick is finding people with similar interests. Try church, volunteer groups, art classes, clubs, political campaigns, anywhere you're likely to find people with similar values. I never had much luck with random chance.


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Re: Lack of confidence rant. - September 2nd 2010, 02:54 PM

Oh wow, do I understand all that.
First off, you are damn gorgeous, so it's ridiculous that you don't see that.
Also, it's hard to see that our lives really are progressing when we are the ones living it. We are too close, I feel exactly the same way, but I have moved 2 states south, started uni and just had a weekend away, and I did that all by myself, but I still feel stuck.
I think what it is, is maybe lack of passion? If that makes sense... Maybe find something you are passionate about and really focus on it, no matter how small it might seem.

Anyway, good luck beautiful


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Re: Lack of confidence rant. - September 2nd 2010, 11:01 PM

Honestly, I'm not sure if you'll want to hear this (I know what self-confidence issues are like), but from what I've seen of your pictures, you're a pretty girl. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you.

Honestly, if you want to boost your confidence and meet new people, perhaps you could look into clubs, social groups, etc. to find people with common interests. Or even a class of some sort? Say you're interested in Pottery, try to find a Pottery course? That kind of thing. Or if you're into a certain TV show, find a fan club? I know when I was in high school, there was a group for teens into Anime, and they'd get together every week, and occasionally dress up as their favorite Anime character (though, I thought that was kind of lame ). But, point is, they were happy doing such, no matter what others thought.

Anyways, don't let a few idiots online or in person bring you down.


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Overall, Dare to be yourself.

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Re: Lack of confidence rant. - September 5th 2010, 03:30 PM

I can relate to just about everything you've just said. I feel exactly the same, i was bullied so i lost all of my confidence and i still haven't gained all of it back now. My friends that i do have.. i don't get to see them much at all. I think the answer is for you to meet new people. I know that I have to, even though it won't be easy because i'm shy, i have to do it otherwise I won't move forward in my life. I will just stay in the same place which is exactly what i don't want to do and it sounds as if you feel the same. Try & join a club or somewhere where you will mix with new people. Once you start doing that, your confidence will build & you will start to feel better about yourself.
   
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Re: Lack of confidence rant. - September 6th 2010, 01:02 PM

Hey Tayla Jay,

Just wanted to echo the others here. You know, people say that one negative comments is equal to about five compliments in terms of how much we let these affect us. However, try to take the compliments to heart too. If people are poking fun at you and leaving you mean comments online? Forget them - they're not the people you're going to be surrounding yourself with for the rest of your life. Don't have any way for people to leave you anonymously mean comments (ie: Honesty Box on Facebook, FormSpring, etc) because let's face it, some people just happen to enjoy making other people feel bad...and those aren't the people you're going to want to have anything to do with!

PS: I think you're gorgeous, but I think the most gorgeous quality of them all is confidence. When you see this, you'll be absolutely golden. (:



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Re: Lack of confidence rant. - September 6th 2010, 02:53 PM

Thanks guys, you've realluy helped.

I just wanted to point out that it's not just comments online. That doesn't usually happen unless I put myself out there i.e post a photo, or something. These insensitive comments can happen when I'm just walking down the street. It's usually just from dick head teenaged boys, which is just typical. But that's still no excuse to publicly throw abuse at some stranger walking past you in the street. I don't usually take it to heart, it's just the fact that sometimes I can't even walk through town without some twat saying something. It's like, what's the need?

Cheers chums!



   
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Re: Lack of confidence rant. - September 6th 2010, 05:00 PM

i know how you feel!!!
i felt the exact same way! still do a bit now but i have a trick for it!
put your fave cloths on and your best makeup or even better no make up! and just strut your stuff and scream to the world IM HOT!!! IM GORGY!!!!!!!! lol
sometimes the crazy advice is the best! ;D laugh about it your self! i have a really flat nose! but i dont care!!! hahaha!
if anyone bullies you just look at them with a sexy smile and say "jealous?"
dont worry be happy!
   
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