Anger

[zidane]

uhhh ok. well, i've noticed that since the start of this year I've been getting really angry, often over nothing. I've also found that I swear much more than I used to. I don't know what's goin' on but I feel neglected and as if people are trying to make me angry. I often take my feelings out on objects or at my parents. I feel bad about what i'm doing, but don't know why its hapening and how to stop it...... i need help.

[Thirteen]

Have you gone to the doctor? This could be something as simple as hormones. Keep in mind, you're still growing, and still probably in an awkward phase of life.

[Katrina]

Hi there.

First of all, I'd just like to welcome you to TeenHelp. My name is Katrina; it's lovely to (sort of) meet you. I hope you find your way around here okay. If you plan on staying (and I certainly hope that you will), be sure to go introduce yourself to some of our other lovely users in the Arrivals and Departures forum!

Anyway, down to business. I'm glad that you've noticed this change. Realizing that there's a problem is the first step to receiving help for that problem. So, with that in mind, give yourself a pat on the back -- you're heading in the right direction! To echo Julz, it definitely wouldn't be a bad idea to look into some options for seeking professional help. If you're in school, you could always schedule an appointment with your guidance counselor to see if he or she could give you any useful tips for coping with your anger.

Rather than taking your anger out on other people (like your parents), it's important for you to learn to cope with or release your anger in other (obviously healthy) ways. Talk about what's going on instead of letting it boil up inside of you until you yell or speak meanly to someone else. Document the times when you're angry by writing them down and see if you notice a pattern. Now that you know that there's something going on, it's time to find out why it's happening.

Finally, I just wanted to share a couple of tips I found on MayoClinic (my new favorite resource, it seems like). I think they'd be worth a try. Check it out:

1. Take a 'timeout.' Although it may seem cliche, counting to 10 before reacting really can defuse your temper.
2. Get some space. Take a break from the person you're angry with until your frustrations subside a bit.
3. Once you're calm, express your anger. It's healthy to express your frustration in a nonconfrontational way. Stewing about it can make the situation worse.
4. Get some exercise. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you're about to erupt. Go for a brisk walk or a run, swim, lift weights or shoot baskets.
5. Think carefully before you say anything. Otherwise, you're likely to say something you'll regret. It can be helpful to write down what you want to say so that you can stick to the issues. When you're angry, it's easy to get sidetracked.
6. Identify solutions to the situation. Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work with the person who angered you to resolve the issue at hand.
7. Use 'I' statements when describing the problem. This will help you to avoid criticizing or placing blame, which can make the other person angry or resentful — and increase tension. For instance, say, "I'm upset you didn't help with the housework this evening," instead of, "You should have helped with the housework."
8. Don't hold a grudge. If you can forgive the other person, it will help you both. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want.
9. Use humor to release tensions. Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Don't use sarcasm, though — it's can hurt feelings and make things worse.
10. Practice relaxation skills. Learning skills to relax and de-stress can also help control your temper when it may flare up. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as "Take it easy." Other proven ways to ease anger include listening to music, writing in a journal and doing yoga.

For more information, check this page out. Good luck! I hope you find something that works for you!

[zidane]

hey guys, appreciate your responses. theres one other thing i need to know. i used to have a drug problem. do you think this could have anthing to do with my anger?? i stopped the drugs and about 1 month afterwards, things started to go off the rails.

[Thirteen]

Depends, did you have the anger before you had ever touched drugs?

[zidane]

no, after the drugs, about 1 month afterwards it triggered

[Thirteen]

Then the issues you're having could be sheerly because of drugs. Perhaps go and see a doctor about this, and tell them about the drug history, so they can figure out whats wrong.