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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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WingedAngel Offline
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Name: Hannah
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 27
Join Date: January 26th 2009

Illness or just a phase? - September 10th 2010, 02:09 PM

Hiya. I don't know if this comes under mental health so I'm sorry if it needs to be moved.
I've never been very social at all and personally I have no problem with it. I don't go out with friends, and outside school I rarely talk to them. I'm completely comfortable with that even though I know my family wish I would go out more. Recently I've been through a bit of shit. My dad's not the best guy in the world; got himself in debt, almost thrown in prison and considered suicide. This was a couple of years ago but I never spoke to anyone about it; I've always bottled things up. Then there was my uncle. We used to be so close and then he went and fell in love with a woman down Wales; now I never see him. He's entitled to his own life and all and that's fine, though it feels as though he's abandoned me and what really pisses me off is the fact his girlfriend's daughter has the audacity to call my grandparents her grandparents. This all sounds really petty but it's just the small things that piss you off.
Basically the gist of that is I've been stressed out I suppose.
What this is really about though is that my mum has been sneaking around with a guy she used to go to school with. He's an ex alcoholic who has a penchant for giving people life advice (I have nothing against alcoholics) and he was my uncle's friend for ages, so he's always sort of been there. Anyway, I've never liked him. She's been lying to me, telling me she's going one place when she's sneaking off to go walking with him, or even round to his place to have sex. She doesn't know I know, and frankly, I don't want her to. I know I should probably talk to her about it but the longer I can ignore it the better. The only reason I'm posting is because I'm now having concerns about my own health. I hate him with a passion, not only because of what''s happening now; as I've said I've never liked him. It's got to the point that I genuinely want him dead. I know that if I saw him outside my house and I had a heavy weapon next to me I'd club him with it. I've started just all of a sudden bursting into tears randomly and even hitting myself. I hit my head and my legs mostly just out of a fit of rage. The once he came round to the house and wanted to stay the night. I heard him talking and laughing downstairs and couldn't sleep. I kept hitting my head and actually wished I was deaf just so I didn't have to endure it.
I'm of the opinion that I'm just angry about the situation and that's the reason why I'm taking it out on myself.
I'm not really looking for a response involving speaking to someone about everything or someone calling me selfish (which I know I am). I think I'm just using this to vent some of my anger. So thanks for listening if you have.
   
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