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Drenn Offline
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Name: Matthew
Age: 24
Gender: Male

Posts: 9
Join Date: June 4th 2010

My brain is in a state of chaos - October 5th 2010, 11:49 PM

A lot of things have been troubling me lately. I've spent hours thinking in endless circles about my problems and I just need to get organized, and need some input.
  • I think I have SA (social anxiety). It was much worse in middle school, but it's getting better.
  • I can only speak when I'm spoken to, unless I've got a really good reason. When teachers say to form groups, I'm left with the leftovers unless someone offers to have me in their group.
  • I've been slacking off in school. I somehow maintained 80+ marks when I started slacking after the Christmas Break last year, but my marks go way downhill from here.
  • I have no friends. I do want friends... but friendships would seem artificial! I'm not sure how to explain this. I don't relate well with other teenagers.
  • I'm too self-conscious. I avoid chats like the plague because normally online, I read my posts over and over again to make sure it all sounds ok. This also means it's very hard to let go of myself in public, there's always a censor program running telling me what I can and can't do. Very rarely can I deactivate it. When I do, I'm a little too laid back.
Reading my post over and over again, it looks like most of this is related to SA. I think there's more to it, but my brain isn't working 100% at the moment. School is becoming more and more of a drag. Comments would be appreciated.
   
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