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Max91 Offline
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Identity crisis - October 25th 2010, 09:17 AM

Growing up I always looked up to my brother. He was cool, edgy, great at playing music, amazing rollerblader, always made his own friends and girlfriends. For all my life I followed him, every new thing he was doing, I took up aswell. I followed him through skating, music, the way he talks, and just a lot of his style. I'm 19 now and have realized for maybe 2 years now that I've always done what he's done. The only traits I've really picked up by myself is loads of video games and a little bit of working out on the side.

Now I'm stuck feeling like I have no personality of my own, people tell me I'm a lot like my brother and often call me by his name. (Which is very irritating) I've made a ton of mistakes that I'm working through, I've used drugs, I smoked weed for 3 years, and I smoke half a pack of cigs a day. I've heard the word fake thrown around a bit, and many meaner versions of the word, but when I look at my real self now, alls I see is badness and I want to be a better person, I want to find out what love is like, I avoid everyone because I don't think I'm good enough to be around anyone.

I've never talked to anyone about this, but it's eating me up inside, I hate myself and I hate the fact that I hate myself... I'm a 19 year old male and I know I shouldn't be acting like this, any advice would help and I'm willing to talk to anyone
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Re: Identity crisis - October 25th 2010, 05:01 PM


Its natural for siblings to admire each other and develop common traits. It just, happens from being in the same family.

However, since this is obviously bothering you, maybe find more hobbies of your own? Like, you can always go to some sort of community centre (like the YMCA, but I don't know where you live, or if you have them) and see about trying various activities out.

For example, if you try out a few activities for free (or a small fee, I don't know how they do sampling) like Basketball, Pottery, Yoga, and Painting, you may choose to, say, pursue Basketball over everything else. You know what I mean?

Luckily you're still young enough that you have time to work on this, and change how people perceive you.

Dare to be Different, to be Weird, to be a Freak.
Overall, Dare to be yourself.

Stamp Out Prejudice Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere
The Sophie Lancaster Foundation

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crisis, identity

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