Just freaking out.

[Sleepwalker]

I don't know what to do! I don't know. I don't know. I don't know!

Half the time I think I'd like to see a counsellor. The other half the time, I'm convinced it's all in my head and I don't have any real problem I need help with. (And yes, I realize the irony in saying it's in my head.)

So, the other day when I was upset, I set up an appointment with someone. But now, I can't think of the reason why I called, and I'm so nervous just thinking about going. I can't believe how stupid I am... Why did I call? I pretty much just hate myself right now. The appointment is supposed to be tomorrow, but I'm thinking about skipping out. Even though it's my first appointment. Lame, I know.

Ugh. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm losing it without really losing anything at all... And I know that doesn't even make sense.

I'm feeling panicky just thinking about all this. I wanna crawl back into my hole in the ground... I never should have left it to try to find help. I'm just wasting people's time with my nonsense. I hate myself so much right now. I'm so stupid.

And I have no idea what I should do tomorrow. I'm afraid I'll just be kicking myself later if I don't go, but at the same time, I'm not sure I really even need to go. I don't want to waste someone's time with stupid problems. Ugh. What do I do?